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Story of my loss

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2011 at 8:39 PM
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Hi. My name is Sara. I have a 17 month old son. Right after his first birthday I became pregnant with our second child. I was ecstatic. We were not trying nor were we trying to prevent it. I just knew even before I took the test that I was pregnant, I hadn’t even missed my period yet. I had my first appt around 9 weeks. Everything was perfect. The baby had a strong heart beat and was measuring fine. The baby was kicking like crazy. I was so excited I couldn’t wait to feel those kicks. My pregnancy was great I never had any morning sickness, no tiredness, nothing. My first pregnancy was the same way. The only problems I had with my first were I had a glucose intolerance which was fine once I cut out carbs from my diet and I started to develop preeclampsia but it wasn’t a concern since I was almost 2 weeks overdue. I had my next doc appt around 12 weeks. Everything seemed fine. When the doc went to listen for the heart beat it took him a minuet to find it, but he found it and said it was a good one. He than scheduled my next appt for 5 weeks. That appt was going to be the one were you have the u/s and can find out the sex. I could not wait for that day to came. It was torturer waiting. I wanted to have that ultrasound 1. To make sure the baby was fine. After leaving the last appt I just felt so uneasy even though the doc said it was fine. Also I really want know the sex. ( I really wanted a girl). The day finally came (2//9/11). I was only one the table for 5 mins but I knew something wasn’t right in the first min. The tech left the room and when she returned I was asked to go into the doc office. He then told me that the baby had no heart beat and was measuring around 16 weeks. I was a little over 18 weeks. I went in a day later for a d & c since my doc recommended it. That was horrible. It was worse than when I went into labor with my son. They don’t know the reason why it happened. I know it’s not my fault. I hear it from everyone. I just can’t help but thinking that maybe if I had opted for the genetic testing I would have know something or maybe found out sooner. I didn’t opt this pregnancy since my first on went so well and I did have all the testing with him. It’s tough to deal with. You always hear once you make it to the second trimester, you can relax a little.

by on Mar. 19, 2011 at 8:39 PM
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Replies (1-4):
lasombrs
by Group Owner on Mar. 19, 2011 at 11:09 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had a 2nd trimester loss as well and its very hard. You always hear that the first trimester is where the danger is but it is really more common then most people talk about I think. I had my child sent for testing after he passed but they still could give me no answers. Try to not beat yourself up over the testing. It probably would not have predicted the problems either. And they carry risks of losing the baby as well.

Were they able to tell you if the baby was a boy or a girl. I have found its easier if you give the baby a name and talk to them now and again to help with the grieveing process. We are here for you when ever you need us. The first few months are very hard but it does get easier to get through everyday. And people mean well with everything they say, but things like its not your fault, never seem to actually make anyone feel better. I think they just can't think of anything better to say. Try to not get to upset at them, deep down they do mean well.

vb_chick
by on Mar. 21, 2011 at 6:20 PM

No i never asked if it was a boy or girl. I got so caught up with what i had to do and having to have a d & c. Everything just happened so fast.

Txmommy13
by on Mar. 22, 2011 at 9:15 AM

Im so sorry for your loss.I havent had a 2nd trimester loss so i cant really relate to that,but ive had 4 1st trimester losses.Our 1st loss was after we had 2 little girls.So i didnt think i had any reason to be concerned but that pregnancy ended in m/c. And i agree with lasombrs dont worry about the testing.It mightve turned up something but on the other hand it might not have. Im here for you if you need anything.Hugs

naturemom031
by on Mar. 22, 2011 at 9:18 PM

So very, very sorry..I can relate, I had two second trimester losses within the last two years..My first one was at 18 weeks too.  My son had a condition called gastroschesis,(the stomach doesn't form properly and the intestines grow outside the body).  My story is kind of similar, with going to the doctor and hearing no heartbeat.  I  was then induced and delivered him at only five cm dialated.   Definitely one of the worst experiences in my life, until I had my second loss at 26 weeks, which was due to preterm labor. (my son was born alive, but passed away after 12 hours).. 

  I know you are heartbroken, and I am here for you if you'd like to chat. (Hugs).. 

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