Miscarraige...one year later

[INeedGuidance]

How things change in one year and thing is no matter what resolutions you make, you can not predict what will happen. On this very day last year (12/31/10) , I was in the hospital preparing to be induced after my water broke prematurely christmas day 2010. Around 9:30 pm new years eve, I gave birth to a premature baby girl, early, stillborn, but still beautiful. At that moment and for some time after I felt and still periodically feel alone. Now one year later, I'm married to the father of the baby (last very year we were barely speaking), we have a house and a family. Although I miss her everyday, today especially, I'm happy my be life very is getting back on track. Deep down inside I thought is be in tears and depressed today, but I have realized I am much stronger than I gave myself credit for. Ill never forget her or my son who was premature/stillborn (02/03/04). All of you ladies are very strong and I gave the upmost respect for you all.

[Txmommy13]

Im happy to see that you are doing well.We are all here if you need us or just want to talk!

[lasombrs]

I am glad you are handling the day well. I still tend to break down on my aniversary dates even years later. Hopefully good things will be in store for you in 2012!

[INeedGuidance]

Thanks! Its still rough but im surviving, i want to badly to try again, but in the back of my mind im still nervous on the outcome,...the thought of reaching four months and once again losing another one.....

[Txmommy13]

I know its not exactly the same thing,so i hope i dont affend you.But my 1st dd was preemie and i had a rough pregnancy ,luckily she pulled through.But when i finally became pregnant with my second i think my whole family was scared of a repeat outcome as was i.I didnt want to put another child through what my 1st went through.I was very scared and wasnt able to relax  but everything  turned out fine.So i understand your aprehension and feelings on trying again.I hope you'll keep us updated.

 

Quoting INeedGuidance:

Thanks! Its still rough but im surviving, i want to badly to try again, but in the back of my mind im still nervous on the outcome,...the thought of reaching four months and once again losing another one.....

 

 

[INeedGuidance]

Oh no not offended at all, its true the family who actually care about your well being are just as nervous as you/i would be.  Right now my husband wants me to see a doctor and make sure everything is fine and what we need/dont need to do in order to make sure things go well.  It will probably be a while before we actually go full force and try again, right now its like if it happens it happens.  Theres so many other things going on at this moment.