Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Working Moms Working Moms

Why does everyone ask...

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:15 PM
  • 26 Replies

Is this your first?

Talking about my daughter.

I know, I am older (35) and started late (I wanted to be 100% sure).  The next question is always "Are you going to have another?"  No, I am not.  I want one, and that is fine.  DH has 3 girls.  He is fine with having no more.  And it always seems to me that people just aren't happy when someone is fine with having 1 child. 

Okay.  Maybe I am overreacting, but it seems like the never ending question!

by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mickstinator
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:34 PM

I know what you mean. The first time, it's almost expected. The second, third time, understandable. The one hundredth+ time, a little annoying in the least. 

We're done with kids. I'm 22. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain that one! 

Shari55
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:45 PM

No you are not over-reacting,I use to get that too, at one point I asked my doctor to tie my tubes, and because I wasn't 25 yrs. old he said no (I am now glad he didn't),before I have my younger two. My oldest was an only for 12 yrs., that is the way I wanted it and for good reason(I am not going into that now). After I had my daughter Nyssa, I was asked again the same question even after I had my daughter Michaela, I was asked which I replied "No I had my tubes cut,tied and fried with my husbands blessing too we are happy with our three."


Shari, wife to bestfriend John (4/88), mom to Heather(1/77),Nyssa(4/89),Michaela (8/94) and four fur babies (cats)

happymommy1105
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:46 PM
I had my first at 20.

I was done.

7 years later.......

I am 30 weeks with my second son.

Oops, I messed that one up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Nighttiger
by Ashley on Aug. 29, 2012 at 6:57 PM
2 moms liked this

It NEVER ends. First, are you seeing anyone. Then, if you are, any plans on getting married? As soon as your married, are you having kids?  Once you have one, you get the "are you having any more?"  I have one. I'm happy with him. He's AMAZING. Yes, DH and I do plan to have more in the future. No, not right now and I will not tell you when we are going to open that door. Further, please refrain from asking any additional questions that pertain to what DH and I do in the bedroom and in our lives with our most personal decisions! Thank you :)

Bubbie0809
by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:10 PM


Quoting Nighttiger:

It NEVER ends. First, are you seeing anyone. Then, if you are, any plans on getting married? As soon as your married, are you having kids?  Once you have one, you get the "are you having any more?"  I have one. I'm happy with him. He's AMAZING. Yes, DH and I do plan to have more in the future. No, not right now and I will not tell you when we are going to open that door. Further, please refrain from asking any additional questions that pertain to what DH and I do in the bedroom and in our lives with our most personal decisions! Thank you :)

Yes, I agree.. it never ends. All I heard for the first 8 years of our marriage is are you having or when are you having kids? (dh has 4 older kids, so I wasn't sure) Then we had 1 and I heard when are you having another. So, we have 2 and are done, but I heard are you having more? 

Everyone is so nosy...

Babujai
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:16 PM
I always wonder about only children...if they're lonely...if their spoiled. Before my sister was born I was lonely. Before my YDS was born my ODS was getting spoiled by some members of the family. I'm guessing those are at least two of the motivations for people asking.

I've got two boys, so I always get asked if I'm trying for a girl. Heck, naw! I'm good!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
preacherskid
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:25 PM
People always give me funny looks when I say I am perfectly okay with my two girls. My life is, at best, absolutely crazy. A disabled husband, two kids one pre-k and one toddler, and two large dogs is all I can handle. Yet I have been asked several times in the past two months if/when we are having more, and they act surprised when I say two is enough. I get tired of it, too.
Mireya926
by Mire on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:26 PM

 Finally someone said something, I thought I was the only one feeling that way. I only have one boy he is four now. I am so bothered now; not only by Is this your first? and "Are you going to have another?"  But I have be criticized and called selfish for no wanting to give son  sibling. 

The economy is not what was, women are more and more in the work field as much as men are. Why am I gonna bring a child into the world were I cannot provide for that being, as best as I possibly can.




Full Time Working Mom's           Group Owner

the3Rs
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 7:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand.  It's not just you.  I have three boys and I am ALWAYS ASKED if I'm going to "try for a girl".  NO!  Why on earth would I?!  I'm VERY happy with my 3 boys are we are DONE.  But, I shouldn't have to keep answering that, you know?

twinplus2
by Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:08 PM

I  have 4 girls and get asked all the time at the age of 45 when I am going to 'try for a boy." People just don't get how personal family size questions are. So my advice is to not take it personally. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)