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Working mom vs. Stay at home mom rant

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:57 PM
  • 28 Replies
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I have never had the opportunity to be a stay at home mom... which I am sure is also a lot of work.

But sometimes, I really get bothered by people I know who are stay at home moms who complain about not being able to manage their children's daily routines, cook and clean etc. Once mom I know complains she doesnt have the time to tutor her child on their homework... I don't get it!

I mean personally, I wish I had a chance to do all that for my family. But we need to be a 2 income household, so I am working. My daily routine consists of waking up at the crack of dawn, dropping kids off to school, commuting  1 1/2 hr to work, working til 5PM , driving another 1-2 hrs back home (traffic), cooking dinner, checking on kids and homework, getting things together in the house... 

I'm sure many working moms have a similar routine, so I dont get it and I'm sorry but I cannot even get a slight bit sympathetic when my friends or sister in laws that stay at home complain so much that they don't have enough time in the day... ??? What?!


by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:57 PM
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campingmomof4
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:25 PM
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 i have done both SAHM and work full time outside the home.   I had a schedule for my week when I was a SAHM.   My kids where younger.    I really wish I could have stayed home longer.  Things didn't work out that way.    My sil is  sahm.  Her house is a disaster.   My house is not a disaster and I work.  

I understand your complaint.   I wonder that also about some people complaints.   If I can keep my house clean, spend time with my kids and still work a full time job.  Why can't they get it done when they don't have to leave the house every day to get to work. 

JMCorbin84
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Honestly I don't get it either & i'm a sahm. It's true some days I don't get as much housework done as I would like, maybe I run out of time for mopping or sweeping the front driveway, but I use that time working w/ my dd on her counting, letters, etc. We usually spend at least 2 hrs a day at the park & have plenty of time to cook 3 meals & run errands.

I worked full-time recently & barely had 3 hours by the time I got hm to get dinner cooked, dd in a bath & to bed. I had to leave all chores & errands until the wkend & had no time left over to spend any real quality time w/ dd.
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Marti123
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:45 PM
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I am sorry, it is hard especially when you are envious of their position of staying home.

The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I do try remind myself though, SAHMs have more messes to clean, more meals to prepare, a tighter budget to stick to, more cognitive skills to teach with little mental stimulation, constant interruptions, often with even less support from a work outside the home spouse.

I am gone for 8-10 hours, my house stays silent, no little sticky hand needs water or a meal. I am paying others to help my young children work on writing and reading and numbers and playing and singing, while I earn more money for the life we have chose. You are right, it is exhausting. And when I take a week off to play SAHM, it seems so simple, easy, but who really knows the battle until they have walked in those shoes!

I just smile when SAHMs or non-parents tell me the woes of their time management. I am glad they sound silly to me and I do not understand their struggles, because I like my life, and I really do not wish to trade them.

*hugs*
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DesignerMom1326
by New Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:38 PM
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I suppose in my case the SAHM's I know arent quite realizing that they actually have more time than they think. Though in some cases pressed for time, its not as if they cannot manage around their home schedule. So yes,, it sounds rather mean, but I don't feel the sympathy when SAHM's I know complain .

If working mom's are able to juggle it all, I would say SAHM's can more so! Hmmm...

deccaf
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:41 PM

I guess I can see the point.  I know staying home with DD when daycare is closed, or one of us is sick, I am always chasing her, and even though she is two, we don't allow her to be in a room where we don't have a visual on her.  We are usually right there playing with her, which makes cleaning and housework, errands and chores go by the wayside. 

I am also up very early (on the road before the sun is up), shorter commute, but I also go to school.  DH and I do a lot of tag-teaming so I can get dinner, some cleaning and my homework done.

mickstinator
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM
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I know what you mean. I don't think the plight of the stay at home mom is unreal - I know I can get overwhelmed when I'm at home with the kids alone several days in a row. I've never had the opportunity to always have it that way. 

But I have to manage so much: kids, husband, household, finances...and then I work full time. On top of that, I have the guilt of not being the one to change every diaper or wipe every tear. My free time is my carride to work! 

I try to be a positive person and not let any of the difficulties of my schedule get to me. I think the grass can always look greener on the other side. With that, I like to just leave it alone. It's not worth pondering why other behave the way they do or what it would be like to have a different schedule. I'm sure I'd feel stretched thin in many other versions of life, too! I definitely feel ya, Mama.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Jan. 23, 2013 at 3:50 PM


Quoting DesignerMom1326:

I suppose in my case the SAHM's I know arent quite realizing that they actually have more time than they think. Though in some cases pressed for time, its not as if they cannot manage around their home schedule. So yes,, it sounds rather mean, but I don't feel the sympathy when SAHM's I know complain .

If working mom's are able to juggle it all, I would say SAHM's can more so! Hmmm...

I think this is it in most cases.......they may not know how much time they do have and if they had a schedule of a full time working mom, they may seem overwhelmed because "home" activities is more limited.  In many situations that I have a friend (or sister) that is a SAHM, their cleaning schedule or errands took way longer than the amount of time that I would normally take. 

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 4:19 PM

I agree with you. We're homeschooling ds and we have a schedule setup with him. I guess if there is no actual schedule in place people don't realize how much time is spent doing nothing.

Marti123
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:14 PM

I hear what you are saying. I know I am much better at time management, multi-tasking, communication, and  appreciating every moment with my child, BECAUSE I am a WOHM. Would I have those skills as a SAHM? idk, maybe not.


Quoting DesignerMom1326:

I suppose in my case the SAHM's I know arent quite realizing that they actually have more time than they think. Though in some cases pressed for time, its not as if they cannot manage around their home schedule. So yes,, it sounds rather mean, but I don't feel the sympathy when SAHM's I know complain .

If working mom's are able to juggle it all, I would say SAHM's can more so! Hmmm...


 

DesignerMom1326
by New Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:44 AM

I admit both working and SAHM's fight their own battles as far as things that need done. Though hearing  friends who constantly sound like they can't manage their kids while staying home seems so ridiculous to me. I've heard it all :

- No time to tutor kids with homework

- No time to take them to sports activities

- Overwhelmed cooking and having to watch small children

the list goes on! BUT hey, we working moms do the same things PLUS having a full time job? So what is it that is hard to manage exactly? Am I missing something???

Time management is key whether you are home or not. Like anything else, without it, well things just wont get done,right?


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