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Is your boss a yeller? Update!!

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:44 PM
  • 34 Replies
I've never worked for a yeller and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I have a new boss. My boss transferred and they brought in a new lady. She is in her 60's and originally I was so excited because she has some great ideas and seems very knowledgable. But over the last week she has yelled at me 3 times. I'm just not used to it and to be honest, the first two times just kind of shocked me but the last time it embarrassed me and actually sent me to the bathroom teary eyed. Not normal for me.

Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with that and if you have any suggestions on how I can deal with it myself. I love my job but not sure i can handle this part of the job. I've been laying low but she seems to always raise her voice (not just at me) and it makes me shutter. Thanks!

UPDATE... Thank you all for your advice and taking the time to comment. I took a lot of the advice and I talked with my boss. That entire week after she yelled at me she went without speaking to me. So I finally had enough and I confronted her about what was going on. She said she thought I was mad at her so she was walking on egg shells (poor management skill). So I took the opportunity to tell her that I was not MAD at her but I was embarrassed by being yelled at and that it makes me feel uncomfortable when she yells at me especially in front of the other ladies. I told her that I just wasn't used to that type of environment. She said that she would work on it. She has not yelled at me this week, however what I have found is that she isn't so much a yeller, it's just her tone of voice and it startles me. And she can go from laughing and being fun to stern in a split second and you just have to have your big girl panties on. She is a very insecure person. She thinks that everyone is talking about her when we absolutely are not talking about her while in the office. We just speak in low voices and if that makes her paranoid, sorry. This is just how we are. So this week was better however I am not sure how long I will hang on. I applied for another department but was denied the application because I need to finish some accounting courses. Which I looked in to today and plan to register first thing on Monday for summer classes. It's not just her yelling; it's her inability to make a decision and stick with it. It's her 'I'm the boss and I need to throw my weight around attitude'. We don't work for a company that employees managers this way. We are a small company and the managers are just people just like we are. She demands respect that she has not even earned yet. She talks about other employees and then I walk out wondering, well what does she say about me to them? She says one thing and then an hour later with no explanation changes her mind and says, I changed my mind because I can! Which is I am sure is fine in other places but this is not the philosophy of this company. I've been there for over 7 years and have never seen a department manager behave in the manner in which she does. She may not even last very long. We are used to working Independantly with little to no guidance. She micro manages. She is constantly at my desk and asking me why I worked until 530 when I've been working 9-530 for the last 3 years. At 515 she is asking me if I'm going in to over time which I am NOT. I barely get 40 hours with my schedule. I have to remind her of that constantly. It just drives me insane. So I don't know what my future holds but it really did feel good to tell her how I felt and that the yelling wasn't working for me. I am not sure it will last as this just seems to be her personality but.. At least I tried.
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by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Marti123
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:28 PM
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No, and honestly, I would not do well in that type of environment.

When I was young, physicians would sometimes yell at me as a staff nurse. Now, well, I will not tolerate it. I loudly ask if I can talk to them privately, and then tell them, "your tone is completely unprofessional, and I will not work beside someone with this type of behavior." And depending on their response and demeanor, i have also said, "Would you like to accompany me to HR or I can notify medical staffing?"

I write down the incident, the words said and send it to my supervisor. No one should be verbally abused in their jobs. I do not care how talented or big their egos are, act civil or get the hell away from me. I'm too old to be pushed around like some peon. No one deserves that.

I think you should practice confrontation, the next time she does that. That is not ok!!
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preacherskid
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:57 PM

I agree.  Let her know (respectfully of course) that it is causing you issues to be dressed down like that, and (I am guessing) affecting your work a bit.  If you continue to have issues, and I would document everything, go straight to HR- they are there for a reason, and this is one of them.

Quoting Marti123:

No, and honestly, I would not do well in that type of environment.

When I was young, physicians would sometimes yell at me as a staff nurse. Now, well, I will not tolerate it. I loudly ask if I can talk to them privately, and then tell them, "you're tone is completely unprofessional, and I will not work beside someone with this type of behavior." And depending on their response and demeanor, i have also said, "Would you like to accompany me to HR or I can notify medical staffing?"

I write down the incident, the words said and send it to my supervisor. No one should be verbally abused in their jobs. I do not care how talented or big their egos are, act civil or get the hell away from me. I'm too old to be pushed around like some peon. No one deserves that.

I think you should practice confrontation, the next time she does that. That is not ok!!


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cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

As hard as it may be you need to talk to her. Just let her know that the tone she's using is unprofessional.

LyTe684
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:44 PM
No.
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honeydewmommy
by Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:50 PM

I know how you feel, I have a "dragon lady" She literally runs our whole dept. Plus she can be condenscending, she is like 45 looks like she is 30 has no kids no husband no attachements but her job. So of course if I need a day off she is less understanding. Plus she yells and she is loud too. Because gawd forbid no one hears her. Anyways..I know how u feel. 

iansmommy9
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Yes, I've found that when she's stressed, she's more likely to "go off". Everyone tries their best to keep problems away from her. The last time she yelled at me was about 10 months ago. Like you, I went teary eyed to the bathroom, composed myself and came back to finish my work. She called me back in her office after everyone left for the day. (She does this a lot when she knows she's crossed the line or rocked the boat). This time, I decided I'd had enough and stood my ground. I was professional, but I let her know that I wasn't pleased with the way I was being treated. For the most part, she's not been as bad on me since then.

That being said, we all know that it's only a matter of time before it's our turn to experience her wrath.

 Good luck. You really need to find a way to talk to her.

Nena70
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

YES,, I have a new boss that is so negative and non supportive.

I have never had a boss like this before.

Im trying to figure out how to  deal with this , too.

Your message reminded me of what my counselor told me.

When  she is yelling at you...Say , after after a deep breath, 

..." You know what.. Im feeling uncomfortable, I sense you are attacking me.."

Or "  This is inappropriate   . verbalize what you need"

I' m still trying to figure out what to do with her.  "

I will not let her break me or discourage me.  Be better then her and learn from her mistakes.

momof2ex1
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:41 PM
Oh I feel you! It's NOT fun. She is new. One month under her belt and she's come in guns a blazing. She doesn't even understand all aspects of our jobs yet. It is just frustrating. I was surprised they brought in someone off the street instead of promoting from within. But I'm sure most of us are just not qualified enough for management. I don't like being yelled at. I'll have to figure out a way to deal with it ...


Quoting Nena70:

YES,, I have a new boss that is so negative and non supportive.


I have never had a boss like this before.


Im trying to figure out how to  deal with this , too.


Your message reminded me of what my counselor told me.


When  she is yelling at you...Say , after after a deep breath, 


..." You know what.. Im feeling uncomfortable, I sense you are attacking me.."


Or "  This is inappropriate   . verbalize what you need"


I' m still trying to figure out what to do with her.  "


I will not let her break me or discourage me.  Be better then her and learn from her mistakes.


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thr3strykesmom
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:16 PM
Let her know how you feel she might not even realize she's doing it
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thr3strykesmom
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:21 PM
Oh my goodness a boss that knows less about the job then you and then has the balls to yell at you because she doesn't know and then asks you for help hell no play stupid don't give her the benefit cause once you do she or he will taken full advantage
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