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overwhelmed

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:41 PM
  • 20 Replies
My kids r so demanding due to their ages ..1 and 3. And I barely have time to use the bathroom. I work full time and have no time to myself or to my kids..cause when I get home from work I'm drained and have nothing left. I've suffered from depression for years and wonder if its that or if its just being a mom of 2 small children. I also feel that my husband is little help around the house and I basically do everything for everyone. I just want to crawl in a hole and not be bothered...then I read all these posts about moms just loving every second with their kids and I just cannot relate to this. I want a second to myself! Not just a second...a week..a month....is this bad?
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by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:49 PM

I feel the exact same way, I know it's horrible. I think part of it is just being so overwhelmed all the time and being so unappreciated. Plus I'm sure I have undiagnosed depression.

calsmom62
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:56 PM
3 moms liked this
You might be suffering from depression, but also be wary of everything you read, esp on a board online. If all the moms on here loved every single second of time with their kidlets there would be a lot fewer posts here and the parks and playgrounds a lot more crowded. Moms of young children have a lot of stressors, and time to themselves is almost a forbidden pleasure it seems. It's easy to get caught up in diapers and laundry and baths and playing and housework aNd cleaning and work and then somehow at 9 pm you fall into a chair wondering where the day went. Look at your real daily schedule and see where you could squeeze in some time for yourself. Can you get up a half hour early, take a walk around the neighborhood while dh is still home in the morning so if the kids wake up he is there? , and you would still have time to get ready for work, and the kids off to daycare. Can you afford a once a wk cleaning service? They are more affordable weekly than every two or three weeks. Usually around $65 a week ....
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2curly
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:13 PM
2 moms liked this

I feel EXACTLY the same way.  My kids are the same age.  It is very overwhelming to work full time and take care of two little ones.  I had to sit down with my husband and discuss who does what and try to even out some of the cooking, cleaning, etc.  I am thankful that my husband is willing to be helpful and is very helpful.  Both of our jobs are stressful, so getting out of the house for work is not a break.  We decided that we each would get one night out away from the family at least once a month.  Sometimes I meet friends for dinner or sometimes I just go shopping by myself.  We also have been trying to have date nights once in awhile too.  It helps keep us connected.  I don't know if is depression or just the stress of being a working mom with young kids, whatever it is you need to talk with your husband because he can and should help out more.  Don't feel guilty about wanting time to yourself; you need to take some time for yourself even if it just for a couple of hours.   I wish you well and take care of you. Remember when mommy is happy, everyone is happy :)

MixedCooke
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:24 AM
2 moms liked this

No it isnt bad because Moms need some time to take care of themselves too.  1) St Johns Wort helps with mild depression  2) Cook enough so that you have leftovers  3) Use a Slow Cooker so the meal is done by the time you get home for work  4) DELEGATE--if you both work, there is no reason he should not be participating in maintaining the household as well. 

deccaf
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

It's not bad.  You cannot help how you feel.  Sometimes, you need a break.  Have DH take the kids, you go get a massage.  DH can handle it, he needs to for your sanity.  You really need to talk to him about helping more, too.  Many guys need to be told exactly what you need them to do.  He can't read your mind, so you need to tell him.

lnrmom
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this

No its not bad, it is quite normal actually.

Talk to your husband, tell him how you are feeling and that you need him to do XYZ. If you don't talk to him about your needs, he can't help you. He doesn't know how to read your mind.

Marti123
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry!! **hugs** totally normal feelings. Parenting is exhausting. Working full-time is exhausting. And then trying keep up with expectations of societal norms, of this "joyous happy family 24-7" is near impossible.

Do you have any vacation time you can take? Where is your DH at emotionally? Does he know the emotional battle you are going through?

I never admit this to anyone in my real life, but my YDS has the highest needs temperament, I can possibly imagine. Many times I just want to beat him into submission or just lock him away; I don't. but It is relentless with no rewards, no finish line, just this never ending feeling of guilt about the above feelings, and failure that I am unable parent him and meet his needs successfully.

Moms don't say or write things like this, it's confessed with shame and embarrassment as it falls on too many judgemental ears, that are just looking for reasons to justify that they are superior parents.

but don't kid yourself, parenting is not all roses and rainbows. There are always thorns and storms involved!! Hang in there, kids do get bigger and require less physical care, and that will ease your burden, as well!! My 5 year finally consistently wipes his own bottom!! It does happen!!
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leahbeah143
by Leah on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this

 *hugs*

You are not alone mama!

trfgirl56701
by Melissa on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this

You're not alone. There are times I feel like that too and I only have one kid. Mamas all need at least 5 minutes to themselves to feel better

careerbusymom
by New Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:24 PM
thanks for all of the support. I wish I could clone myself-one of me could work, and the other could actually spend time with my kids. Some days I actually dread going home, because of all the responsiblities. I just want to enjoy my children-but they are so demanding! I fixed a snack for them yesterday hoping for a few minutes alone to do dishes-by the time i turned arond, the snack was all over the floor and my 1 year old had smeared all the food (avocado) in her hair..and we had just had a bath. i about had a nervous breakdown. does it get any easier???
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