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He Flipped Out -need some of your thoughts

Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 11:48 PM
  • 13 Replies

Ok guys, I need some of your thoughts.  I am going through some rough times right now (super personal) and am under an unusal amount of stress.  My brother is having a baby tomorrow (scheduled) and I am working.  The hospital is pretty far and on a Friday night there will be an insane amount of traffic.  And I have 3 kids (9, 7, and 2) to take along.  The relationship between my brother, his wife, and our family (my immediate family and our mom/dad) is very strained (a big history there).  I let them know we would come on Saturday to see the baby. 

So he flipped out on me today about this.  He expects me to come the day they have the baby.  I just don't understand why he got so upset.  I really think he's very stressed about having another baby and taking it out on me.  But really, does it matter to visit on the day the baby is born, or come the next day?

There is a lot of back-story here and I don't want to bore you to tears, but even ignoring all of that, what are your thoughts?


Thank you!

by on May. 9, 2013 at 11:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
the3Rs
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2013 at 7:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Personally I think he's acting childish. I would still go on Saturday as planned.
trfgirl56701
by Melissa on May. 10, 2013 at 8:32 AM

I think he's acting childish. He needs to understand that sometimes things just don't work out the way he wants. Personally I'd probably go on Saturday just because it gives them more bonding time and that way there might be fewer people so you could actually visit. Sorry he's acting like that

CHerman76
by Member on May. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM

Thank you for your posts. My husband did tell him that it would be less stressful on Saturday. He called me first, then our mom, and my husband. It was just so stressful. What's nuts is that one of our biggest issues is how they are not involved in our kid's lives. And we barely get to see their son. Yet, coming to the hospital the day their baby is born is extremely important. Just doesn't make sense.

deccaf
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2013 at 10:48 AM

I personally didn't want anyone with me that day except DH.  But they came, anyway.  If things are already strained, how much more will it damage the relationship by not showing up?  I agree that he may just be under stress.  If you can talk to him, let him know that while you understand his stress and his desire for you to be there, traffic and distance are factors in your decision.  If you can't talk, maybe text it. 

christaberk
by Christa on May. 10, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Yep.

Quoting the3Rs:

Personally I think he's acting childish. I would still go on Saturday as planned.
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Loveplusmama
by Silver Member on May. 10, 2013 at 12:26 PM

He isn't the only person you have to think about in this situation. You have to consider your family needs first. Maybe in retrospect he will enjoy having fewer visitors on what is already a hectic day. He and his family can bond with the new baby in peace. 

You are doing what you can and taking care of business. 

Marti123
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2013 at 1:04 PM
I think that is a ridiculous request, I would be really polite and apologetic, and simply reiterate, how happy you are for them but you cannot come on Friday, can you come Saturday? If he continued to be dramatic and unreasonable and decline your visit request, I would be saddened and simply not visit during the hospital stay.

Sorry for the stress!
flutter523
by Tracy on May. 10, 2013 at 7:39 PM
He's being unreasonable IMO. I just had a baby Sunday and some pretty important people (my dad and sil) didn't see him right away. My dad finally came today and SIL still hasn't even made an attempt. Honestly no one saw him until he was about 19 hours old bc of the timing and it was kinda nice having that alone time at first. I hope your visit tomorrow goes smoothly and he's just stressed out
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2013 at 9:01 PM

I would go Saturday. I'm sure they'll be exhausted on Friday and it'll be easier for you on Saturday.

CHerman76
by Member on May. 11, 2013 at 12:19 AM

Thank you for the support everyone.  It helps me to feel more comfortable about the decision.

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