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Why would she say that??????

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:52 PM
  • 20 Replies

I became txting friends with a mom on a Christian group on Cafemom. Things were going so well.......

Today she sent me a txt asking what Jeremiah 29:5 said to me. I told her that pretty much it means to work for our harvest. She asked me to be more detailed I said that I work to bring home a paycheck which is my harvest, to teach my children discipline andrespect for when they are older and to love my husband and help him so our marriage would be good.

Things went downhill fast after that. She pretty much told me that I shouldn't work, the husband should be the provider, why after 7 years of being a stay at home mom I would go to work and not raise my children, that by my husband and I working seperate shifts we don't spend time together and w can't have a good marriage like that. Pretty much saying I was a bad mom because I worked and the bible says I should be at home and submit in everything to my husband and raise my children.

I told her she was being judgemental and the bible says not to judge. That she didn't know me or our life or situation and had no right to assume that our marriage wasn't good and I wasn't raising my children.

I am with my children everyday until 4 when my husband comes home. He then takes over the children and I work. I have every tuesday and wednesday off as well as every other weekend and spend that time together as a family, as well as going and eating lunch with him at work everyday.

I am so very upset! I told her that it is people like her that scare people away from church and God because they are so jugemental of others lives.

How could she say things like that knowing that I am trying to build my relationship with God again after everything that has happened????

Please tell me that not all Christians are like this!!!!

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
deccaf
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I don't know who rebekah is.  However, I identify as a Christian and try very hard to keep my nose out of the lives of others.  It's just not my business. 

LauraS2337
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:07 PM

 Don't be upset, hun.  The Bible does tell us to honor our husbands.  The Bible does NOT tell us that we are going to Hell and are bad wives if we work outside of our homes.  Unfortunately, there are many debates about Proverbs 31, which is the go to chapter regarding wives in the Bible.  But there are so many other verses that are overlooked, too.

Genesis 2:18-24: Woman created as a companion to man

Proverbs 31: The wife of noble character

Ephesians 5:33: Must respect husband

Yes - she does sound like she is being judgmental....and she is wrong in doing so.  However, it is not for you or I to judge her on this.  Your best defense is to not discuss this matter with her any longer.  Take the higher road, forgive her for judging you, pray to God and ask Him to help you through the pain that it may have caused.  Get back up on your feet, and study your little heart out in your Bible.  Different religions interpret the Bible in different ways.  Some even have their own variations to the Bible!  You follow your heart, and where the Lord is guiding you to go.  Also read Matthew 7:21-23.  I'm not saying that this is her, but I would read it and remember it.

hugs

saraewhite
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:13 PM

Sorry, I forgot to take her name out of the post!!! I don't judge people because I know what it is like to be judged and everyone's story and lives are different. And you are exactly right about it not being anyone elses business. But it is still hurtful. I am trying my best to get my relationship with God restored and things like this make me doubt it.

Quoting deccaf:

I don't know who rebekah is.  However, I identify as a Christian and try very hard to keep my nose out of the lives of others.  It's just not my business. 


HotMama330
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:16 PM

 This is why serious subjects should never be discussed via text.  It never ends well.

Sorry that happened to you.  Hopefully, you'll make friends with someone who will not judge you and who is in the same place in their life as you.

 

I'm looking for friends who are loyal, intelligent, kind and who love to chat.  If this is you, contact me.


deccaf
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Try very hard to keep other people out of your relationship with God.  You can't allow someone else to make you feel apart from him.  Think of it as the obstacles in your way to a relationship with your Lord.  You have to climb right over them or go around them, no matter what they are.   


 

Quoting saraewhite:

Sorry, I forgot to take her name out of the post!!! I don't judge people because I know what it is like to be judged and everyone's story and lives are different. And you are exactly right about it not being anyone elses business. But it is still hurtful. I am trying my best to get my relationship with God restored and things like this make me doubt it.

Quoting deccaf:

I don't know who rebekah is.  However, I identify as a Christian and try very hard to keep my nose out of the lives of others.  It's just not my business. 



 

saraewhite
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:20 PM

I think I am more hurt than upset. I thought we were friends. I talked to her about how the church and the people in it hurt us and it has taken me a long time to even try to build my relationship with God again and then she would go and say all of these things like I am wrong for working and I am not following the bible because I am working.

I tried to explain to her that these days it is hard to live off of one income and eventhe little bit that I make helps.

I am not discussing this with her any longer I asked her not to txt me anymore. That I couldn't talk with someone who was so judgemental about my life without really knowing our situation or life.

She also told me to look up Matthew 7:1-5, John 7:24 but wasn't that exactly what she was doing to me?

Quoting LauraS2337:

 Don't be upset, hun.  The Bible does tell us to honor our husbands.  The Bible does NOT tell us that we are going to Hell and are bad wives if we work outside of our homes.  Unfortunately, there are many debates about Proverbs 31, which is the go to chapter regarding wives in the Bible.  But there are so many other verses that are overlooked, too.

Genesis 2:18-24: Woman created as a companion to man

Proverbs 31: The wife of noble character

Ephesians 5:33: Must respect husband

Yes - she does sound like she is being judgmental....and she is wrong in doing so.  However, it is not for you or I to judge her on this.  Your best defense is to not discuss this matter with her any longer.  Take the higher road, forgive her for judging you, pray to God and ask Him to help you through the pain that it may have caused.  Get back up on your feet, and study your little heart out in your Bible.  Different religions interpret the Bible in different ways.  Some even have their own variations to the Bible!  You follow your heart, and where the Lord is guiding you to go.  Also read Matthew 7:21-23.  I'm not saying that this is her, but I would read it and remember it.

hugs


saraewhite
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:22 PM

That was the thing that pushed me away from the church. I was going to everyone else first instead of God and listening to them that I couldn't hear God speak to me. Now I am trying to start my relationship with Him again and it is so very hard that things like this make me wonder if it is worth it. I know it is but the feeling at he time is like that.

Thank you for your advice!

Quoting deccaf:

Try very hard to keep other people out of your relationship with God.  You can't allow someone else to make you feel apart from him.  Think of it as the obstacles in your way to a relationship with your Lord.  You have to climb right over them or go around them, no matter what they are.   


 

Quoting saraewhite:

Sorry, I forgot to take her name out of the post!!! I don't judge people because I know what it is like to be judged and everyone's story and lives are different. And you are exactly right about it not being anyone elses business. But it is still hurtful. I am trying my best to get my relationship with God restored and things like this make me doubt it.

Quoting deccaf:

I don't know who rebekah is.  However, I identify as a Christian and try very hard to keep my nose out of the lives of others.  It's just not my business. 





saraewhite
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you!

Quoting HotMama330:

 This is why serious subjects should never be discussed via text.  It never ends well.

Sorry that happened to you.  Hopefully, you'll make friends with someone who will not judge you and who is in the same place in their life as you.

 


Nighttiger
by Ashley on Aug. 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Reality is, everyone judges. Religion or no religion. its programmed into us as humans to survive. She stepped over the line with how she spoke to you but thats not unique to christians nor is it how all christians are. Dh stays home with the kids while I work. I dont have dhs last name and neither do the kids. We get judged like crazy from all sides. However my kids are extremely happy kids and that is my concern.
LauraS2337
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Don't worry about her judging you.  Forgive her for judging you.  We must first forgive, to be forgiven ourselves.  Put this behind you.  The enemy is eating at you big time right now.  None of us are perfect, and since you are growing in your relationship with God, the enemy is going to be attacking you more than ever.  Stay strong.  Study, study, study your Bible.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine told me about a website/blog that I think you might enjoy.  It's called the Unveiled Wife.  There is also a devotional book that goes along with it called Wife After God.  I visited the website and then downloaded the book on my Kindle so that I can start the devotional journey.  I am not only working on my relationship with God, but also my marriage to a non believing husband.  Talk about a battle!  You can do this.  If you would like to do some private Bible study, I am always available.  Just send me a PM ;)  Hang in there!!  Your in God's hands now :)

Quoting saraewhite:

I think I am more hurt than upset. I thought we were friends. I talked to her about how the church and the people in it hurt us and it has taken me a long time to even try to build my relationship with God again and then she would go and say all of these things like I am wrong for working and I am not following the bible because I am working.

I tried to explain to her that these days it is hard to live off of one income and eventhe little bit that I make helps.

I am not discussing this with her any longer I asked her not to txt me anymore. That I couldn't talk with someone who was so judgemental about my life without really knowing our situation or life.

She also told me to look up Matthew 7:1-5, John 7:24 but wasn't that exactly what she was doing to me?

Quoting LauraS2337:

 Don't be upset, hun.  The Bible does tell us to honor our husbands.  The Bible does NOT tell us that we are going to Hell and are bad wives if we work outside of our homes.  Unfortunately, there are many debates about Proverbs 31, which is the go to chapter regarding wives in the Bible.  But there are so many other verses that are overlooked, too.

Genesis 2:18-24: Woman created as a companion to man

Proverbs 31: The wife of noble character

Ephesians 5:33: Must respect husband

Yes - she does sound like she is being judgmental....and she is wrong in doing so.  However, it is not for you or I to judge her on this.  Your best defense is to not discuss this matter with her any longer.  Take the higher road, forgive her for judging you, pray to God and ask Him to help you through the pain that it may have caused.  Get back up on your feet, and study your little heart out in your Bible.  Different religions interpret the Bible in different ways.  Some even have their own variations to the Bible!  You follow your heart, and where the Lord is guiding you to go.  Also read Matthew 7:21-23.  I'm not saying that this is her, but I would read it and remember it.

hugs


 

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