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Balancing Work and Motherhood

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:48 PM
  • 9 Replies

I was a SAHM up until about 7 months ago and I have having trouble finding the balance between work and making sure my son doesn't get ignored. I was just wondering some tips and tricks to making sure your children get the amount of attention they need. I work 40 hours a week and when I come home I am mentally exhausted. I feel so bad because my little boy is so happy to see me (as am i to see him) and wants to play and I just want to sit down for 30 minutes and zone out.

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:48 PM
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by Tracy on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:29 PM
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It's tough and I'm like you and need a few minutes to decompress from work. Sometimes I'll drive really slow or stop at the store before coming home. Involve the kids in helping to make dinner and clean up. That way you're spending time together while getting stuff done
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:49 PM

I have worked my son's whole life, he is 7 now, and for the most part, I try to focus on him (and now my stepkids) during the time I am home and they are awake. Sometimes that requires coffee on the way home, lol, or staying up late to get chores or other work done. Plan ahead for meals and get as much as you can ready the night before as you can. My son also has a later bed time than many of his friends, 9pm, because of my work schedule.

by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM
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The keyword is balance, and it is hard.  My daughter is 16 now and I have been a working single parent the entire time.  When my daughter was young, I would use my drive time, at the end of the day, from work to daycare as "me" time.  When I picked her up from daycare, and from then forward it was her time, until bed which was 8pm.  Even now, we use drive time for quality time and find ourselves sitting in the car when we get home to keep talking, kind of like a neutral zone.  Working and children make for very long days, but I knew I had from 8p until 10p for me and then it was sleep (if I was lucky) sometimes at 8p it was finishing up work from home (or working my business).  I had to learn that it was okay to say no to other people, not answer my phone or text messages (unless it was an emergency).  I put together a schedule that worked best for me and my daughter, my work and my business. 

Good Good Luck! ... just remember to breathe and take one day at a time :)

by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:37 PM

I also use my commuting time to kind of "zone".  I listen to books on cd during the drive, or my favorite playlists.  I'll sometimes stop at the market before daycare pick up, and spend five minutes in the parking lot clearing emails so I don't have to look at any devices once I'm home.  

Some days are better than others, but in the whole scheme of things, when we give hugs, kisses and tuck in at night, we put the day to rest and start fresh each morning.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:01 AM

1) take him with you on errands such as grocery shopping, etc  2) cook in bulk so you dont have to cook every day  3) get chores done during the week, so the weekend is just family time

by Christa on Sep. 3, 2013 at 4:20 AM
I spend the afternoon commute talking to my kids in the car. We share stories of our day, ask questions, etc. But once we are home our evening is chore-filled as we have less than 2 hours before bedtime.

I miss my kids.
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by New Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:04 AM
Balancing can be very difficult. I'm a children's librarian and I have 3 boys. I'm a army wife so most of the task fall on me. After working a full day I barley have time to collect my thoughts. I manage though. I do feel like I'm cheating my boys, and because of this I'm working towards becoming a stay at home mom.
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:34 AM

A key aspect to our schedule is one 30 mintue show after we get home from daycare/school. That gives me a chance to get dinner going without too much help. After that show, we turn it off, play, get ready for dinner, do baths, etc. That 30 minutes helps all of us unwind a bit after a very busy and full day.

When I am really tired, I will actually try to get outside with them- play chalk, bubbles go for a walk around the block. That gives me some fresh air to help give me a boost!

by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:38 AM

Balancing work and motherhood can be really difficult, but it can be done. 

* Like others, I use the commute to and from work as "me" time to decompress.  I don't drive to work and take the train, so in this regard, I'm lucky because I really just sit and close my eyes or read.

* I use travel time as quality time.  Driving to and from daycare is about 15 minutes.  That 15 minutes, I use to talk to DD.  She's only 3, but she's got a lot to say and I have found that she is more prone to talk and let it all out during these car rides - it's almost a ritual for her in the afternoon now and she tells me all about her day and what has happened.

* I try to do a lot of bulk cooking or prepping during the weekends.  My aim is to cook 3 meals a week, leaving the other days for leftovers, re-purposing or take-out.  This saves a lot of time when I come home so that dinner can be on the table in 30 minutes or less.

* I let her help with just about everything from making dinner to cleaning up.  This provides us with more quality time and she loves it.  She looks forward to standing in the kitchen with me helping me cook.

* When DD is awake, I focus on her.  I leave the little things that I need to do until after she falls asleep so that I can sit with her and play and cuddle and even watch tv. 

* She goes with me on most errands unless I think she'll have a tantrum. 

* I clean as I go so that I don't have to devote a whole entire day just to cleaning but rather can have weekends where we get up, have breakfast and go and hang out with DD.

Some days are great and others are not, but it would be like that whether I was working or staying home.  I always see each day as a new start and have learned to let little things go because ultimately a spotless home or something is not worth it if it means I have to sacrifice time with DD.  Working has made me appreciate the time we have together and make it more meaningful.

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