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Is she going to cause a problem on my job?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 7:41 PM
  • 8 Replies

This is a very long story, like a soap opera, but it does involve my job and I am in need of some advice! To make a long story short, 6 years ago my husband cheated on me and she got pregnant and had a son. My husband has only seen the child a few times and when he finally admitted that it happened, I encouraged him to have a relationship with the child. It was more like me "dragging" him to the girl's house because I could tell that he really wasn't interested. We kept the child for one weekend and he was introduced to our 4 kids that we have together. That was over a year ago-we have not seen the child since. She sent me messages on Facebook asking me to ask him to borrow money for the daycare-he refused to give it to her and told me not to tell him any more messages from her and basically that he doesn't want to be "bothered" with the child. He also told my kids that he didn't want to be bothered with their brother. The girl was in school to be a nurse and now has gotten a job where I work. I work in the same field but I am not a nurse yet. The boss is friends with her and helped her get the job. I do not feel threatened because I do my job and am a good employee. I am afraid though that she will start talking and that people will blame me for what has happened. I smile at her and treat her very nice and have welcomed her to our facility. We work with alot of gossiping females that would some for there to be some drama on the job but I refuse to let that happen. I have only told one person who she is and together we are trying to figure her out-one day she might speak but she is not carrying on any conversations about the child, my children, or my husband. I don't whether I should mention anything to her or not-I have not told my husband that  she is working with me. Maybe she has moved on and don't want to be bothered either. But I do feel bad and feel that I am somehow in the middle of this situation.

by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-8):
flutter523
by Tracy on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:23 PM
That's a tough spot. I'd feel caught in the middle too. I'd definitely tell DH about it though. You don't want any secrets haunting you.
JeremysMom
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Your husband is a douche. Luckily, it seems like she has either moved on with the situation or has more maturity that your husband and will not mix personal and business together. I would tell your husband that she does work where you do now. Does he pay child support?

Nighttiger
by Ashley on Oct. 23, 2013 at 11:20 PM
This

Quoting JeremysMom:

Your husband is a douche. Luckily, it seems like she has either moved on with the situation or has more maturity that your husband and will not mix personal and business together. I would tell your husband that she does work where you do now. Does he pay child support?

adamsmom0116
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:51 AM

 This. Does she seem friendly or at least not hateful when you see her? What I'm getting at is....Do you think it's possible for the two of you to co-exist at work and not necessarily be friends? It sounds as though she's not on a warpath to "get you" or anything like that, so that's good.


Quoting JeremysMom:

Your husband is a douche. Luckily, it seems like she has either moved on with the situation or has more maturity that your husband and will not mix personal and business together. I would tell your husband that she does work where you do now. Does he pay child support?


 

Marti123
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow, I am sorry, that is like a soap opera.
You are stuck in the middle of a situation that unfortunately reflects poorly on you.

You are married to man who was unfaithful that is not taking care of his child, his responsibility. If she chooses to say anything, or even if you do, it would be difficult to try to spin in a positive light, kwim? The gossip hounds will love this, and I am not sure there is any way to prevent that. Even if you talked to her about this specific subject, it wouldn't guarantee her silence or trust. I would continue to be polite and hope she stays quiet.

Best of luck to you,
ablox
by Aisha on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Holt moly girl. So you definitely need to tell your Dh she works there. She may be one of those smile in your face and talk behind your back kinda people. Also if you have forgiven him for the cheating don't worry about what other people say. I will say that I hope you guys at least support the child financially a little although I know that may be hard since there are 6 of you. Hugs and I'll be praying for you.
deccaf
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:44 AM

I think that for you to be "punished" at work due to your husband's indiscretion would be wrong.  Most women would (hopefully) see that you are a third party.  However, for your husband to act like this is unacceptable.  I would hope that he is at least paying support.  If she is a smart woman, she will keep her personal life personal, and not create drama at work.  That rarely makes a good work environment.

mskeeinmd
by Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 4:36 PM

Wow!  This is some Bold & the Beautiful got all Young & Restless and ended up in your General Hospital drama.  I would say that you should tell your DH that she works there, but you can't control what she says because your man chose to lay his pipe and get someone pregnant and is not stepping up.  I think that is the worst part of this.  He did the deed and laid his seed and he can't seem to be responsible.  Whoa, when the roosters come home...I would remain friendly with her, but you may want to find another job.  

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