Kids Go to See 'Frozen' & Theater Shows Adult Sex Film By Accident (Yikes!)
by Emily Abbate
Cue a major parenting nightmare: You're at the movie theater in Pinellas Park, Florida, with your kiddos about to see the newest hit Disney film Frozen. After some technical difficulties (damn you for not watching the film illegally on your laptop at home), the movie is delayed and the movie gods that be decide to show a "filler cartoon."That filler cartoon? A red-band trailer from Las Von Trier's Nymphomaniac. Yup, a theater full of bustling kids and parents were in for an extra special treat when they were ambushed with two long minutes of sexually explicit scenes, including a blow job.
OH LORD. I mean, think of all of the awkward-yet-hilarious-yet-holy-shit I-can't-believe-we're-having-this-conversation questions these unfortunate parents endured after the mishap? I can only imagine ...
After taking a quick peek at the trailer myself, I'll sum it up for you: a car goes on fire, a teacher stands there with her tights down then lies down on a desk, a woman asks another man to take her virginity, another woman confesses she's a nymphomanic, there's nudity, Uma Thurman asks, "Would it be all right if I showed the children the whoring bed?", there's a blow job, sex, cum, AHHHH MY EYES.
What's an addict?
Why doesn't that teacher pull her tights up?
Why is she naked bouncing on that man? Aren't they cold?
UGH THE QUESTIONS.
Seriously, if I'm scared just watching that trailer and I'm a woman in my mid-20s, then those poor poor kids and those poor poor parents.
I know -- you're probably killing yourself wondering what the theater did when they heard what happened. Apparently, they offered families free movie tickets to "make up for the trauma" and promised to terminate the projectionist responsible. My question? Who is paying for the therapy for the parents after this?
Would you have totally lost it if this happened to you?
Image via Sarah_Ackerman/Flickr