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Moms aren't alone...

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 1:43 PM
  • 8 Replies
in attacking each other's choices. Hopefully someone can make this clicky for me but check out some of the hateful comments this dad got for posting a picture of taking care of his kids.
http://mobile.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/doyin-richards-cops-abuse-from-fellow-fathers-for-posting-photo-while-tending-to-his-daughters/story-fnet085v-1226797131017
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 1:43 PM
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deccaf
by Group Admin on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:03 PM

Doyin Richards cops abuse from fellow fathers for posting photo while tending to his daughters

  • DOYIN RICHARDS The Good Men Project
  • news.com.au
  • 54 comments
Why did this photo make people so mad?

This photo of Doyin Richards made the internet's male population go wild. Source: Supplied

 

Why did this photo make people so mad?

This photo of Doyin Richards made the internet's male population go wild. Source: Supplied

 

The full shot.

The full shot. Source: Supplied

 

THE only thing Doyin Richards wanted to do was get his daughter ready for school. He had no idea the viral outrage it would cause when he posted a photo of the moment on the Daddy Doin' Work's Facebook page. Here is Doyin's blog about the events as they unfolded - and why there is nothing wrong with being a loving dad. Despite the haters.

 

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the best orators in the history of the world and was one of the Top 10 Americans ever. Believe me, I'm not comparing myself to a legend like Dr. King, but I'm going to share my version of the "I Have A Dream" speech with all of you.

 

Before I start, let me give you some background.

 

I took the month of October off from my corporate job for baby bonding with my 3-month old daughter. It's a lot of work being a stay at home parent, but it's so damn rewarding. My baby girl smiles at me non-stop these days and I know it's attributed to the one-on-one time I spent with her. It's a blast.

 

One morning, MDW [my wife] was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn't be able to get DDW1′s [toddler] hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I'd handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist. Again, I told her that I'd handle it. On the way out she said, "I'll believe it when I see it.

 

 

 

 

That's when I put DDW2 [baby] in the Ergo, stood DDW1 on a stool and worked my hair magic. During the process, I thought, "There's no way my wife will believe me if I don't take a picture of this." That's when I set my camera up, put it on a 10-second timer, and took the photo you're looking at right now. After 15 minutes of multi-tasking, the final result was a nice, tight ponytail for big sister and a happily sleeping baby in the carrier. Mission accomplished. I emailed the photo to her with the caption "Boom." and we both got a good laugh out of it.

 

Little did I know how interesting things were about to become.

 

FATHER'S EPIC LIP-SYNCH OF DAUGHTER'S TANTRUM

 

After eating some breakfast, I figured I'd post the picture on the Daddy Doin' Work Facebook and Twitter feeds. Within hours, the picture went viral (well, at least "viral" for me). At last check, the photo was shared over 4,800 times, received over 3,000 comments, and was liked over 190,000 times. The photo was also "borrowed" by at least 13,164 Facebook pages before I could watermark it (OK, maybe not 13,164 Facebook pages ... it was probably closer to 23,164 Facebook pages) That was a head-scratcher for me, because I never experienced something like this since I started blogging.

 

 

 

 

 

The reactions, comments, and emails I received ranged from the overwhelmingly positive to the downright nasty. But as I went through everything, I had a chance to reflect on what I hope for the future. Let's do this.

 

I have a dream that insecure dads will spend less time hating on good dads and more time on getting their own sh*t together. I'd say 95 per cent of the dads who follow me are actively involved in their kids' lives and view parenting as a 50/50 endeavour with their wives/girlfriends. They send me "Thank You" emails, they'll say it's refreshing to see a guy (me) who embraces fatherhood as much as they do, and they'll refer other good dads to my blog because they know I'll celebrate them. Words cannot express how much I appreciate those men because they will play a huge role in making fatherhood "cool" again (granted, I always thought fatherhood was cool, but that's another story).

 

On the flip side, there's a small pocket of men out there that can't stand me. Here's a sampling of some of the private messages and comments I received from them after I posted this picture:

 

- "He probably rented those kids. They don't even look like him."

 

- "I would bet anything that you're a deadbeat."

 

- "OK buddy, cute picture. Now why don't you hand the children back to their mom so you can go back to selling drugs or your bootleg rap CDs?"

 

- "So do you do this for all of your illegitimate kids?"

 

You get the idea.

 

 

 

 

 

As I've said in previous blog posts, I'm not immune to hate mail - and some messages are racist in nature and some aren't. It comes with the territory of doing what I do and I completely understand that. However, do you know what's funny? Oftentimes when a dude posts a public hateful comment on my FB page or Twitter feed, it's followed up by his wife or girlfriend emailing me privately to apologise for his behaviour. These women will tell me that their men are angry that I'm making them "look bad" because they aren't holding up their end of the bargain when it comes to parenting. Here's the thing: I don't make anyone look bad. These guys are doing a fine job on their own according to the women in their lives.

 

Memo to the small pocket of male haters I have: Why don't you put big boy shorts on and get in on the revolution of good fathers? It's not a good look to tear down dads for doing the work your wives wished you were man enough to do on your own. If you don't believe me, just ask your spouses. They'll tell you.

 

But don't worry. I'll still be here whenever you're ready to step your game up and join #TeamGrownAssMan.

 

Again, to the amazing fathers out there reading this (which happens to be the overwhelming majority) - much love to you guys. I appreciate you. Your spouses appreciate you. And most importantly - your kids appreciate you.

 

To read the full article, visit The Good Men Project.

 

 

 

 

deccaf
by Group Admin on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:04 PM

Because I think this is important, I made it clicky AND posted the whole story.

Nighttiger
by Ashley on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:07 PM
Thanks! It's hard being on mobile all the time :(

Quoting deccaf:

Because I think this is important, I made it clicky AND posted the whole story.

mickstinator
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

yeah, i've been seeing this up everywhere. i think it's important to note that most all i've seen regarding this picture has been overwhelmingly positive. of course, there are sexist, asinine, and racist comments, too. those people are loud, but they are a small minority. 

i think it's safe to say any decent person sees this picture and smiles. 

Nighttiger
by Ashley on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:28 PM
The sad part is SAHDs hear similar comments often. DH had to listen to his own brother have to tell him how lucky he was to "be in vacation" the first year of ds1s life. Somehow being a sahm and taking care of your kids is accepted but sahds or even dads who take care of their kids are wimps or lazy. And I'm so sick of hearing dads at work day they have to"babysit" their kids. No, you have to a parent....like always!!! Rant over :)

Quoting mickstinator:

yeah, i've been seeing this up everywhere. i think it's important to note that most all i've seen regarding this picture has been overwhelmingly positive. of course, there are sexist, asinine, and racist comments, too. those people are loud, but they are a small minority. 

i think it's safe to say any decent person sees this picture and smiles. 

mickstinator
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

oh, you're definitely right. there is such a stigma attached to the idea of a stay at home dad. i think people will be more accepting as it normalizes, but it's incredible how strongly some people feel that absolutely no good man should be the primary caretaker of his child. it sounds so ridiculous to me!

Quoting Nighttiger: The sad part is SAHDs hear similar comments often. DH had to listen to his own brother have to tell him how lucky he was to "be in vacation" the first year of ds1s life. Somehow being a sahm and taking care of your kids is accepted but sahds or even dads who take care of their kids are wimps or lazy. And I'm so sick of hearing dads at work day they have to"babysit" their kids. No, you have to a parent....like always!!! Rant over :)

Quoting mickstinator:

yeah, i've been seeing this up everywhere. i think it's important to note that most all i've seen regarding this picture has been overwhelmingly positive. of course, there are sexist, asinine, and racist comments, too. those people are loud, but they are a small minority. 

i think it's safe to say any decent person sees this picture and smiles. 


cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:50 PM

I saw this picture and thought it was great. More men are becoming sahd or are taking on a more active parenting role then they did decades ago.

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