Are we setting DS up for failure?? (kinda long)
DS will be 5 on November 22 this year, and DH and I are seriously considering looking into seeing if he qualifies for early kindergarten this fall. However, we're torn between a few things...
1) Are we subconsciously just trying to hurry up and boot him off the daycare bill? ($1100+)
2) Will he struggle later on down the line in school because we made him start school early?
3) Will he suffer emotionally from having that last year of year of being our "baby" taken away from him?
Our take on it, is that he CAN do it. He's perfectly capable of succeeding...he walked and talked early, is VERY observant and well spoken, and even tries to read things already. But he also has those middle child issues (we have 3 boys...2, 4 & 7). Older DS just turned 7 and has always had some speech and learning delays, meaing he's always required more of our attention. It was determined that he really didn't need to be in Special Needs classes afterall, but it was strongly recommended that he repeat kindergarten. He did (we moved the following summer, so he repeated, but in a completely different state), and the outcome was totally worth it. He'll be starting 1st grade MUCH more prepared than he would have last year. So DS One would just be starting 1st grade this Fall, while DS Two (the one this post is about) would be entering kindergarten right behind him--even though they are 4 & 7. So nautrally that is another concern of ours...Big brother being made fun of in middle school or something because little brother is only one grade behind him.
Then there's DS Two's resistance to growing up. When he sees us coddle baby brother and still give him sippy cups or tickle his toes, DS Two will often come up and demand to be picked up too, or cries sometimes when I give him a "Big Boy" cup during meals. In the past, he has full on resisted certain aspects of growing up like getting himself dressed, and has even said outright that he "doesn't want to grow up!" through tears. We constantly remind him that he doesn't NEED to be a baby for us to love him! And that we love ALL of our boys the same. He's gotten better about all of that for sure, but he still has a moment here and there. On the plus side of things, I can't help feeling like starting DS early might be good for him AND big brother. Because big brother is a little behind developmentally, and little brother is pretty advanced for his age, they're very close and look out for each other. So we thought it might actually be a morale booster for them to have each other there for this stage in their lives. (First grade and DS Two's first time in 'Big Boy' school)
I know a case like this really depends on the child in question at the end of the day, but I was just hoping to hear how early kindergarten went for some of you? Or even someone you know? If I were only concerned about the here and now, we'd have already hopped on it. I guess I'm more concerned about issues that could arise later on (if any) from him starting kinder early.
***Please note: Before the bashing begins (since so many people like to focus in on ONE detail of a post sometimes and run with it), DH and I would NEVER even DREAM of putting any of our children in school early before they were fully ready, just to cut back on daycare costs. Hell, we'd still have to pay for Before & After Care like we do for our oldest DS anyway. Like I said in the beginning, that's just one of the reasons we're on the fence about the whole thing...