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How Do You Handle Tough Situations with Co-Workers?

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 11:14 PM
  • 6 Replies

 How do you ladies handle tough situations with other co-workers without coming off as snippy or witchy?  I've been having trouble with a co-worker taking control of aspects of my projects that's not her responsibilities. On a previous project, I addressed it with my boss. His comments were, "We'll you're working with a headstrong producer. It's probably too far along on this project to do anything, but I'll address it."  I ended up taking the heat for some things she did incorrectly and was scolded that I needed to get control of the project!

I was out on vacation last week and checked emails tonight to find she'd just totally taken over some things I'd requested not be touched until I returned. I feel like I have to stand up for myself, but I don't want to sound like I'm attacking her. How do you all do it?

by on May. 4, 2014 at 11:14 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Marz31
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2014 at 9:29 AM

I imagine you've already tried to deal directly with her at which time, I'd move on to her or your boss and going forward, literally keep a file, get EVERYTHING in email/writing and then present it all when things go wrong. It's tough tho. I have a coworker who can be VERY defensive and she's been written up for it (well, it was on her review a few years) and has done nothing about it, so best we can figure is that she has NO CLUE how awful she sounds. immediately goes for the jugular. I have to say, a number of years ago at a previous job, I had "defensive" on a review and it really made me think about how I react to problems and criticism. obviously not everyone sees those things as "hey dude, fix this or there will be further issues". I don't think you should have to work with a bully, it's no different than kids in school when it gets to that point.

janitablue
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 9:35 AM

I agreed with comment above keep a paper trail and most important tell her how you feel. This not Best Friend co-worker she is your coworker not your friend. If any project that is your responsible failed because she mess up she does not need to work on it. She need know how you feel before it is to late for you.


Marti123
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2014 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

And I say this easily now, in my late 30's as I would not have in my 20's.

I am a pleasant person. I genuinely smile and ask people at work about their lives. I offer to help as I can and am a very good employee. I am not a witch, and I am assume you are not either so................stop falling into the "gender stereotype" abou worrying about being "snappy" or "witchy". Be truthful and direct, give solutions. If she thinks you are mean, her issue, not yours, your reputation and professionalism should far withstand her rumblings and ego if she gets hurt...... which she shouldn't anyway really.

So, "Co-worker, I appreciate you wanting to help with __________________  but I have put a lot of effort into it OR I am the lead, and I only need help with _____________or have identified an area of improvement  ________________. Thanks." if you do it verbally, summarize in email and cc boss as previous poster said. 

Be confident in who you are.......

iansmommy9
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2014 at 9:40 PM

 Thanks....great advice

Quoting Marti123:

And I say this easily now, in my late 30's as I would not have in my 20's.

I am a pleasant person. I genuinely smile and ask people at work about their lives. I offer to help as I can and am a very good employee. I am not a witch, and I am assume you are not either so................stop falling into the "gender stereotype" abou worrying about being "snappy" or "witchy". Be truthful and direct, give solutions. If she thinks you are mean, her issue, not yours, your reputation and professionalism should far withstand her rumblings and ego if she gets hurt...... which she shouldn't anyway really.

So, "Co-worker, I appreciate you wanting to help with __________________  but I have put a lot of effort into it OR I am the lead, and I only need help with _____________or have identified an area of improvement  ________________. Thanks." if you do it verbally, summarize in email and cc boss as previous poster said. 

Be confident in who you are.......

 

Elle.tea.22
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 10:03 PM
I have no issue with putting my foot down. I wouldn't have let it happen a second time.
iansmommy9
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2014 at 9:35 PM

 Yes, I've taken a direct approach, but it seems I have to reset the perameters for every project and it's just getting old. We're going through a bit of a transition with an unexpected retirement...a bit of a power struggle.

Documenting has made me feel empowered and I think I have enough to approach my boss in the next couple days to see if we can get a handle on the situation.

Quoting Marz31:

I imagine you've already tried to deal directly with her at which time, I'd move on to her or your boss and going forward, literally keep a file, get EVERYTHING in email/writing and then present it all when things go wrong. It's tough tho. I have a coworker who can be VERY defensive and she's been written up for it (well, it was on her review a few years) and has done nothing about it, so best we can figure is that she has NO CLUE how awful she sounds. immediately goes for the jugular. I have to say, a number of years ago at a previous job, I had "defensive" on a review and it really made me think about how I react to problems and criticism. obviously not everyone sees those things as "hey dude, fix this or there will be further issues". I don't think you should have to work with a bully, it's no different than kids in school when it gets to that point.

 

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