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MIL rant .........

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 4:50 PM
  • 22 Replies
My SIL (my DH's brothers wife) had a mastectomy & reconstruction for breast cancer this week.

My DH, children and in-laws went to see her yesterday (I was working) and when DH called his brother to check if they needed anything on the way, he said "no.....tons of food.....you guys can eat over here." The family is very involved in both church and the Italian community.

Well, with caring for his wife and hosting tons of visitors, my BIL had lost track, there really wasn't any food at all for my kids, DH or In-laws. So my kiddos sort of fasted all day....Which is NO BIG DEAL, for goodness sake, the first thing that went through my mind when I heard the story, is guilt, I should have sent food!!!!

Ok fast forward to this morning, my MIL calls first thing at 7 am to tell DH how she and FIL are so upset at their son (my BIL) that there was no food for them. She stated, "she just cannot get over it, and feel it was a slap in the face.....so rude" and the comments go on and on.

I am so upset at her for being so selfish, her DIL just had major surgery. Her son has to entertain tons of visitors. I feel like she should lose her title as mother, she's so mean and entitled, cannot stand her.........
by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 4:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LyTe684
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 4:52 PM
Ugh. She sounds like she just needed to somehow shift the attention on herself.
ljmom24
by Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 5:30 PM
Um sounds like she should be thinking why didn't I bring something. Also I'm thinking more so then visiting if it had been me I would have much rather in laws offer to watch my kids outside my home vs us feeling obligated to entertain.

I remember when i had jus given birth to my oldest. Long delvery big baby plus we had been running back and forth to specialist and fil spends 15 min going over his varacous veins. Really dude. Then they stayed for hours.

Anyway prayers for your sil. My mom is going through breast cance now and it's not fun.
calsmom62
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 5:49 PM
she could have picked up sandwich trays at the deli she is a drama queen ? there is no cure for that unfortunately
arthistmom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 6:05 PM

Are you the type to hold your tongue about calling her out on her ridiculously insensitive behavior? If not, I'd say something because her behavior is appalling. Can your husband say something? His brother and his family need his support by helping to lessen stress on them during this difficult time. Wishing your SIL a full recovery.

Marti123
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 7:59 PM
You are correct, recently she has been demonstrating M√ľnchausen syndrome as well. It's much easier to ignore that, as it doesn't insult other loved ones.

Quoting LyTe684: Ugh. She sounds like she just needed to somehow shift the attention on herself.
Marti123
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:01 PM
It's crazy how selfish some people can be.....

Quoting ljmom24: Um sounds like she should be thinking why didn't I bring something. Also I'm thinking more so then visiting if it had been me I would have much rather in laws offer to watch my kids outside my home vs us feeling obligated to entertain.

I remember when i had jus given birth to my oldest. Long delvery big baby plus we had been running back and forth to specialist and fil spends 15 min going over his varacous veins. Really dude. Then they stayed for hours.

Anyway prayers for your sil. My mom is going through breast cance now and it's not fun.
Marti123
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:09 PM
She's horribly selfish, most likely a narcissistic personality disorder. Over the years, I have come to accept it and cope over-all very well. This event for some reason upset me. I need to re-focus and find my calm place, lol!!

Quoting calsmom62: she could have picked up sandwich trays at the deli she is a drama queen ? there is no cure for that unfortunately
Marti123
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:10 PM
Thoughts for your mom as well! My SIL is amazingly strong, she's a great person and the cancer was found in early stages!!

Quoting ljmom24: Um sounds like she should be thinking why didn't I bring something. Also I'm thinking more so then visiting if it had been me I would have much rather in laws offer to watch my kids outside my home vs us feeling obligated to entertain.

I remember when i had jus given birth to my oldest. Long delvery big baby plus we had been running back and forth to specialist and fil spends 15 min going over his varacous veins. Really dude. Then they stayed for hours.

Anyway prayers for your sil. My mom is going through breast cance now and it's not fun.
Marti123
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:25 PM
I do not speak to my MIL very much at all. She has been very cruel to me on multiple occasions.

I was actually very upset with my DH for not scolding her......but with that said,there is no "convincing her" or talking reason". We basically have two options, listen to her or cut her out of our lives. Both come at very high costs......

Thank for listening to me whine though. And I appreciate the thoughts for my SIL! Her prognosis is very good!


Quoting arthistmom:

Are you the type to hold your tongue about calling her out on her ridiculously insensitive behavior? If not, I'd say something because her behavior is appalling. Can your husband say something? His brother and his family need his support by helping to lessen stress on them during this difficult time. Wishing your SIL a full recovery.

ljmom24
by Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:49 PM
Thanks. My moms is supposed to be the cancer to get if you are going to get breast cancer but we are ink surgery number 3 to remove it and if it didn't work it's a mastectomy. She's holding up ok, getting used to working for 2 weeks surgery 2 weeks off back to work for 2 weeks surgery. First one was the roughest these last 2 were a breeze. She is keeping her spirits up. We went on a mission today to find boobie candy molds to make treats for her dr.

She is in her 60s so it's usually better when it's post menapause. Her mom had it to in her 60s. Still sucks but had a friend die recently from ovarian cancer and another's sister is going through lung and brain cancer so she knows she is lucky.

Quoting Marti123: Thoughts for your mom as well! My SIL is amazingly strong, she's a great person and the cancer was found in early stages!!

Quoting ljmom24: Um sounds like she should be thinking why didn't I bring something. Also I'm thinking more so then visiting if it had been me I would have much rather in laws offer to watch my kids outside my home vs us feeling obligated to entertain.

I remember when i had jus given birth to my oldest. Long delvery big baby plus we had been running back and forth to specialist and fil spends 15 min going over his varacous veins. Really dude. Then they stayed for hours.

Anyway prayers for your sil. My mom is going through breast cance now and it's not fun.
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