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Overwhelmed.

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM
  • 10 Replies

All I ever do is vent to you ladies, but sometimes I feel so isolated that I feel I have no where else to turn. 

Work has been highly unfulfilling and stressful. I've doubled my workload in the past 18 months, but our company feels constantly teetering on the precipice and my coworkers do not get along. Plus my already long commute has grown thanks to major construction projects. It takes me about 1 1/2 hours each way now. It's eating me alive. 

I haven't gotten a raise in over 2 years and my husband reached the ceiling for his department last year, so our income has been static. We've had major medical bills. I constantly fear one of our cars breaking down because both are old and increasingly unreliable. Every semester, I dread paying the school bill. Plus, my husband is planning on quitting his job next August so he can student teach to finish his degree and I had wanted to save money for that period, but it's all I can do to not take out of our savings. 

I feel sick constantly, which has to be due to the stress I've been under this year. If it's not one thing, it's another. I thought I had a UTI last week. It turned out I had a UTI and my first ever yeast infection, which I got probably because I just started birth control again so I would stop having a period every two weeks like I have for the past year. It hardly worth acknowledging, though, because it just slows me down more. I even talked to my doctor about my stress and she told me to eat healthy and work out and see a therapist. I do eat healthy, as best I can. I work out 2 - 3 times a week, which is a major feat with all my responsibilities. I looked into therapy, but every place is 80-100 per session and that's just not practical at all. It's not an option. 

My husband is wonderful and serves the household and my needs in every way he can, but he's just not a good emotional support. He is bipolar and functions very well despite it, but I can't put much stress on him or else he starts to waiver. He works full time, goes to school part time, watches our 6 year old when he's not in class, does half the housework without question, and listens to me gripe and complain. His stress and difficulty is no less than mine. We work on opposite days and have no day off together. Lately, he's fearing that I'm pulling away from him. I hate that I'm making him feel that way, but I don't know how to not.

Everything gets to me now. My mom. My boss. My son's teacher. My kids. My in-laws. I feel like I complain about everything all the time. I want to be happy. I journal and meditate and read inspirational quotes and eat veggies and drink water and work out and give myself what free time I can spare. I hear the recommendations of others and I do sincerely try to take it all to heart. It's just not that simple. I feel like it all has to change when Mike quits his job. That's got to be what makes this better for us. 

by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
loridori4
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM

I'm so sorry hun...I'm sending you a PM. Been there. Done that.

deccaf
by Group Admin on Oct. 15, 2014 at 2:30 PM
1 mom liked this

First, no worries about venting here.  We are all aware of the struggles within not only yours, but each of our lives.  Most have been in this group for a VERY long time. 

Second, knowing how unfulfilled you are, have you considered looking into a new job?  I know it's a risk, but you may find a place that values your skillset and offers compensation to match.  And bonus if it's closer!

I know your DH has his own issues, and he may feel you pulling away is his fault.  All you can do is reassure him that you are under tremendous stress right now and to please not take it personally.  Tell him you will let him know if there are ways to make it easier for you, and do it.  Make him feel useful.

Send out a mass email that for now until you send out another email, you are not able to deal with other people's drama.  Elaborate if you wish, but you could also let them know you will not be explaining why or what is going on. 

Try taking a moment to yourself, just to go be with nature.  I always feel better after being in a peaceful nature environment.  If nature doesn't do it for you, find what does.

 

Hope you get it under control!

adamsmom0116
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 4:47 PM

I'm sorry. I really have no good advice. I can second decca though - this group is a great one to vent to!

And don't you love how everyone suggests exercising to help stay healthy and control stress? Because you don't have enough to do already, add on an hour of gym time every day - that'll help!

MindPalace
by Bronze Member on Oct. 16, 2014 at 10:38 AM

Thanks, Decca. I had a good talk with him last night and he basically said as much - and he suggested I look into finding a new job. I have worked here for 7 years and originally felt like I had a better situation than I'd get anywhere else. With the environment now, I just don't believe that's true anymore. I talked to my sisters, who have been gotten new jobs recently, and they're going to help me get my resume in order. I think this could be a really good thing. 

I'm going on a mini-getaway Sunday. It's a belated birthday trip with my twin. I think it'll be a good chance to clear my head and set a plan up considering these things. I'm nervous, but kind of excited at the prospect of change. !! 

Quoting deccaf:

First, no worries about venting here.  We are all aware of the struggles within not only yours, but each of our lives.  Most have been in this group for a VERY long time. 

Second, knowing how unfulfilled you are, have you considered looking into a new job?  I know it's a risk, but you may find a place that values your skillset and offers compensation to match.  And bonus if it's closer!

I know your DH has his own issues, and he may feel you pulling away is his fault.  All you can do is reassure him that you are under tremendous stress right now and to please not take it personally.  Tell him you will let him know if there are ways to make it easier for you, and do it.  Make him feel useful.

Send out a mass email that for now until you send out another email, you are not able to deal with other people's drama.  Elaborate if you wish, but you could also let them know you will not be explaining why or what is going on. 

Try taking a moment to yourself, just to go be with nature.  I always feel better after being in a peaceful nature environment.  If nature doesn't do it for you, find what does.


Hope you get it under control!


MindPalace
by Bronze Member on Oct. 16, 2014 at 10:41 AM

Ugh, yes. I do agree with the sentiment, but it really feels like a cop-out answer, especially coming from my doctor who knows I am a physically active, full time working mother of young children. When I mentioned my son's medical issues as an added stress, she was really flippant about it, too. Like I was just an over-concerned mother. It was really disheartening. : /

I've been wanting to get a second opinion about it all, but honestly, I just haven't had the time to do it. 

Quoting adamsmom0116:

I'm sorry. I really have no good advice. I can second decca though - this group is a great one to vent to!

And don't you love how everyone suggests exercising to help stay healthy and control stress? Because you don't have enough to do already, add on an hour of gym time every day - that'll help!


deccaf
by Group Admin on Oct. 16, 2014 at 10:43 AM

 Good for you.  I'm happy you are taking a positive position.  It's also super that your DH is on board.  Good luck!

Quoting MindPalace:

Thanks, Decca. I had a good talk with him last night and he basically said as much - and he suggested I look into finding a new job. I have worked here for 7 years and originally felt like I had a better situation than I'd get anywhere else. With the environment now, I just don't believe that's true anymore. I talked to my sisters, who have been gotten new jobs recently, and they're going to help me get my resume in order. I think this could be a really good thing. 

I'm going on a mini-getaway Sunday. It's a belated birthday trip with my twin. I think it'll be a good chance to clear my head and set a plan up considering these things. I'm nervous, but kind of excited at the prospect of change. !! 

Quoting deccaf:

First, no worries about venting here.  We are all aware of the struggles within not only yours, but each of our lives.  Most have been in this group for a VERY long time. 

Second, knowing how unfulfilled you are, have you considered looking into a new job?  I know it's a risk, but you may find a place that values your skillset and offers compensation to match.  And bonus if it's closer!

I know your DH has his own issues, and he may feel you pulling away is his fault.  All you can do is reassure him that you are under tremendous stress right now and to please not take it personally.  Tell him you will let him know if there are ways to make it easier for you, and do it.  Make him feel useful.

Send out a mass email that for now until you send out another email, you are not able to deal with other people's drama.  Elaborate if you wish, but you could also let them know you will not be explaining why or what is going on. 

Try taking a moment to yourself, just to go be with nature.  I always feel better after being in a peaceful nature environment.  If nature doesn't do it for you, find what does.

 

Hope you get it under control!

 

Visit Investors!

Marti123
by Platinum Member on Oct. 16, 2014 at 10:43 AM

I hope today is better. 

Last night I went for a walk with the boys on scooters, pushing Mae in the blue playmobil car, I ran and ran and ran until my muscles burned. I cried and cried and cried. It was very therapeutic.

And then I laughed and laughed and laughed, as my 7 yo comforted be with, "oh, mommy, you are so upset, but don't worry, you may not be the fastest mom when you run, but you are still really good at it and I think you are one of the better mommys, are you trying out for a race? it'll be ok......" 

MindPalace
by Bronze Member on Oct. 16, 2014 at 11:00 AM

That is so sweet. I would just bawl, too. 

This morning, I was helping my 4 year old get his shoes on and he spontaneously leaned over and kissed me on the top of the head. It's those little things that just make everything ok. <3

Quoting Marti123:

I hope today is better. 

Last night I went for a walk with the boys on scooters, pushing Mae in the blue playmobil car, I ran and ran and ran until my muscles burned. I cried and cried and cried. It was very therapeutic.

And then I laughed and laughed and laughed, as my 7 yo comforted be with, "oh, mommy, you are so upset, but don't worry, you may not be the fastest mom when you run, but you are still really good at it and I think you are one of the better mommys, are you trying out for a race? it'll be ok......" 


adamsmom0116
by Gold Member on Oct. 16, 2014 at 12:19 PM

 :) For me the running would be about a block and then I'd die! I can walk forever though.....

Sounds like it helped to get some of the emotions out....Your sweet 7yo....Bless his little heart.

Quoting Marti123:

I hope today is better. 

Last night I went for a walk with the boys on scooters, pushing Mae in the blue playmobil car, I ran and ran and ran until my muscles burned. I cried and cried and cried. It was very therapeutic.

And then I laughed and laughed and laughed, as my 7 yo comforted be with, "oh, mommy, you are so upset, but don't worry, you may not be the fastest mom when you run, but you are still really good at it and I think you are one of the better mommys, are you trying out for a race? it'll be ok......" 

 

Sunshyn1838
by New Member on Oct. 17, 2014 at 11:22 AM
I know right! It's hard to find additional time but when you can, it helps tremendously! A quick walk in the morning does wonders for your mental well-being. The gym is a no-go for me, don't have the time for extra travel. I do exercise at home sometimes.

I just ordered a hula hoop to try out. I'm hoping it will be a fun way to exercise and de-stress. I'll have to wake up 30 mins earlier to fit it in.

Quoting adamsmom0116:

I'm sorry. I really have no good advice. I can second decca though - this group is a great one to vent to!


And don't you love how everyone suggests exercising to help stay healthy and control stress? Because you don't have enough to do already, add on an hour of gym time every day - that'll help!

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