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My husband is too good for me

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2017 at 6:33 PM
  • 13 Replies
So 2 weeks ago I find out about the voluntary separation program at work. Still 2 weeks before I find out why financials for it so trying not to think much of it. Another coworker who is close to retirement age has been fighting with her dh over retiring for over a year. She wants to he wants her to keep working for financial reasons. We pick on her ALL the time. We work late together 1 night and after everyone left last week I was just like i with dh was more like hers mine says nothing about it. Well I realized today I'm her dh in my relationship.

When I was pregnant with my youngest he wanted to change jobs and I basically said no. It was a timing issue with me being very pregnant and my guy said no. He was going to a competitor that was trying to come in the area and sure enough not that it matters but I was right and everyone who jumped ship was laid off 2 years later and because they went to the competition they couldn't be hire back at his place.

So driving home we had this discussion and remember when I wouldn't let you leave. He's was like well you were right but it's not my place to tell you what to do and some shmoozing that I have better instincts then him. So now I feel just as confused about my situation but also like a bossy controlling B
by on Apr. 24, 2017 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
M4LG5
by Valeri on Apr. 24, 2017 at 7:17 PM
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I'm like you.....I feel like I need security in my answer and don't want to take too much risk.  It's a good thing.....and something that also holds me back.

Linda_Runs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 7:53 AM

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 7:58 AM
1 mom liked this
I used to have a work husband but he left. I guess now I have a work life partner and she's leaving ....hmmm I'm sensing trend.

Quoting Linda_Runs:

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.

Linda_Runs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 8:02 AM

I have had a work "partner" before, but not in a long time.  Currently with this firm, I am actually a contractor and not an employee, but for legal reasons that is going to change, and probably soon.

Quoting ljmom24: I used to have a work husband but he left. I guess now I have a work life partner and she's leaving ....hmmm I'm sensing trend.
Quoting Linda_Runs:

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.


ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 8:03 AM
I've never been a rush taker. I'm a creature of habit and I think my current situation and dilemma are both a product of that. I stayed too long at the fair for fear of change and now one way or another change is happening. If I wasn't so comfortable and scared of change and the unknown this would be easier. I think to I want dh to have an input so I don't shoulder all the blame if it blows up in my face.


Quoting M4LG5:

I'm like you.....I feel like I need security in my answer and don't want to take too much risk.  It's a good thing.....and something that also holds me back.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh and for the record dh doesn't think I'm controlling ot a B

Quoting Linda_Runs:

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.

Linda_Runs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 8:06 AM

I totally believe that.  I only know you through your posts here, but never did I get the impression that you are anything but nice and professional.

Quoting ljmom24: Oh and for the record dh doesn't think I'm controlling ot a B
Quoting Linda_Runs:

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.


M4LG5
by Valeri on Apr. 25, 2017 at 9:16 AM
I hear ya girl. The fear of change and the fear of the unexpected prevented me from leaving my marriage earlier.

I love my job but lately have considered something different but fear of letting down people that I've been working with and for (current and former students) makes it hard


Quoting ljmom24: I've never been a rush taker. I'm a creature of habit and I think my current situation and dilemma are both a product of that. I stayed too long at the fair for fear of change and now one way or another change is happening. If I wasn't so comfortable and scared of change and the unknown this would be easier. I think to I want dh to have an input so I don't shoulder all the blame if it blows up in my face.


Quoting M4LG5:

I'm like you.....I feel like I need security in my answer and don't want to take too much risk.  It's a good thing.....and something that also holds me back.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks. Honestly I find this realization hysterical. Mil and SIL are control freaks so I think the bar was set real high which is why dh is like what are you talking about. In comparison to them I'm a doormat and he made a good point too our situation now is totally different.

I think this has just caused me to take a long honest look at myself. I've also admitted i can be the mean girl at times, I always knew I was the office clown (appropriate workplace fun)and slightly ADHD.

Goal this week focus more on discovering my strengths

Quoting Linda_Runs:

I totally believe that.  I only know you through your posts here, but never did I get the impression that you are anything but nice and professional.

Quoting ljmom24: Oh and for the record dh doesn't think I'm controlling ot a B

Quoting Linda_Runs:

After reading this you don't come off to me as bossy, controlling or a B!  By the way, I heard a radio show (yes I listen to them in the car) about what is termed a "work marriage."  That is where we establish marital type relashionship with a co-worker whom we work very well with and close to all the time.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2017 at 9:28 AM
I've been here 17 years and I had the same portfolio for 16 of those years and 7 years in another was added that I also had until last spring and there is still some attachment. It was a hard portfolio because it was essentially a dead one. By the time I started w stopped getting new accounts in that portfolio so it was the same set accounts for all those years. I can still tell you case histories just by name without needing to look at the accounts. Now different from your situation this was an adversarial relationship but I still felt tied in good and bad ways to this portfolio. They finally pulled the plug on it last year and I still have occasional clean up. Whenever I looked to leave i would think but my accounts who will handle it and will they do it justice. I can imagine how much harder it is in your shoes when your helping these kids but advice someone once told me at some point you need to put you first or you'll never grow.

Is it your current position you want to leave or what you are doing?

Quoting M4LG5: I hear ya girl. The fear of change and the fear of the unexpected prevented me from leaving my marriage earlier.

I love my job but lately have considered something different but fear of letting down people that I've been working with and for (current and former students) makes it hard


Quoting ljmom24: I've never been a rush taker. I'm a creature of habit and I think my current situation and dilemma are both a product of that. I stayed too long at the fair for fear of change and now one way or another change is happening. If I wasn't so comfortable and scared of change and the unknown this would be easier. I think to I want dh to have an input so I don't shoulder all the blame if it blows up in my face.


Quoting M4LG5:

I'm like you.....I feel like I need security in my answer and don't want to take too much risk.  It's a good thing.....and something that also holds me back.

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