Hollywood Lies About Sex/Love

What was the lesson? I've been married 38 years to the same man. We have never relied on Hollywood to direct our marriage.

while many of the statements in the article are somwehat true, they're hardly epiphanies.

like the woman above me commented "we've never had hollywoord direct our marriage"...

it's kind of like the whole pop culture backlash against disney and fairy tales because it "teaches little girls to be unrealistic in looking for love" etc etc.

i don't know. communication and common sense go a long way; teach your children the difference between reality and fiction and they'll be ok. i feel the same goes for us as adults.

me? i'm a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.  :) (and i love about myself)

I just think it's horrible that movies are so unrealistic and always end happily.  Eveything's perfect and nothing's complicated and it just sucks that life can't really be that way.  I've been going through a lot with my husband and I's seperation.  I just wish everything would go smoothly and we could work things out.  But life's not a movie so i'm workin' my ass off tryin' to get him back, cryin' myself to sleep at night, and wishing that my life could be a fairy tale.  Just for a little while...

i'm so sorry!!

that is rough; i can't even imagine. i mean, i saw my parents go through that but i personally haven't had to. i guess with the whole movie thing.... it's like, an escape. i love to read books (like Twilight - completely unrealistic but so much fun) or watch loveydovey movies because i'm a daydreamer.  i agree you certainly have to suspend your belief while watching a lot of these films. and some, obviously, are better than others. some are too formulaic (like 27 dresses or the wedding planner. it's like...junk food. tasty but nutritionally empty) but others can be satisfying if you're in the mood for it.

anyway, i do hope you're able to get through this alright. i have another dear friend going through something similar.

much love.

Well, thank you. I appreciate it.  It's been really hard.  He can't decide if he wants to be with me or if he wants to stay with his g/f who is pregnant with their son.  He says that if I would've wanted to reconcile before he got her pregnant, it would've been no problem, but now he doesn't know what to do.  And I know it's hard for him so i've been trying to give him his space and not cause problems between them so that he doesn't get mad at me.  But it's hard to know that he wants to be with me (or at least part of him does) and that he loves me but he's with her.  My friends are telling me to just move on, and I probably could if I thought I didn't have a chance and I knew he would be happy with her, but he can't make up his mind so that makes things a little more difficult for me.  I can't just let go of him when I still have that hope to hold onto.

oh my gosh. that sounds.... absolutely devastating!

well, obviously we don't know one another personally so i would pronbably be remiss in really giving any sort of "advice".... but just from reading your message.... i don't know. it sounds like you are the one in the rough situation, and you deserve the consideration, not necesarily your b/f. (or is he ur husband?) anyway, i don't know the situation, like if he cheated or if you 2 were seperated when he got his other g/f pregannt, but...that's a lot for you to have to go through. especially with all the not knowing! it's like emotional ping-pong!! and you're a mom. i went through a slightly similar situation years ago but the only difference was i wasn't married to the guy, we had been dating for years though, and it turned out he was having like....2 lives. one with me and one with her, and neither of us knew and then he got her pregnant. well let me tell you i was BROKEN APART. i have never (til then or since then) felt searing pain like i did with that.  i had to move on. and now it's been so long, and i can say with honesty i've forgave him a few years ago. i guess my point is, maybe you should move on.  he's your child's father, but now he's going to have that responsibility with another woman and her child too...and it's not fair for you to have sit and wait for him. i know you love him and it's awesome you have love in your heart and hopefully forgiveness...but you have to protect (your heart) too.

i don't know.

If you really don't know what you want or how you can or cannot reconcile with him maybe you should look down the road, say 10 years.  Do you still want to be going through this?  Do you want to be living this example for your child?  You are a young, bright woman.  You are a great mama.  You are thoughtful and hard working.  You have a lot of life ahead of you....where do you see yourself?  Chin up, my dear, take control of the situation as best you can, and start planning for a happy future for YOURSELF, with or without this man.  Your happiness is up to you, your friends and family will ralley around you whatever your decision.  Will be praying for a peaceful heart for you, I know your heart is hurting and you are confused.

Blessings.

Thank you both so much.  Yes, he is my husband.  We were seperated when he got her pregnant.  And I'm trying to live my life and be the best mom I can.  I told him I wasn't going to give him forever to make his decision b/c my heart can't handle this forever.  But I feel like I have to give him some time.  Their son is due in November and I have a feeling that when she has their son (they won't tell anyone what they're naming him), that he's going to choose his new family over his old one.  And it's going to kill me.  And what's worse is it will still take me a very long time to get over him.  He's going to see Christopher (my son) as often as he wants.  And I want him to be there and be in his life.  And I understand that just b/c he doesn't want to be with me, doesn't mean that he doesn't love his son b/c I know he always will.  No matter what.  But b/c of Christopher, I'm going to have to see him and talk to him, and my love for him will always be there.  I hope 10 years down the road, we've worked things out and are happy.  But I guess we'll see.  Thank you ladies again for all your support.

wow. well, that's definitely a complicated situation. if ever you need to talk or vent, message me. i do have to agree with 'babs', who just commented above - you should just be proactive, take control and do what you must for your happiness. it's good you want to ensure your (ex?)husband's place in your child's life regardless of your feelings. but, it doesn't mean your life should be on hold for him. when i forgave the guy who screwed me over, it was a few years after we'd broken up and i was then happily married and pregnant with my (current) hunny.

there IS life beyond this guy.

 agree with you I have beeen married 23 years. hollywood doesn't direct our lives. The movies are nice though. most of them. everyone ets love in  a different way or place or whatever.