Do you think that children need a place to "blow off steam" ? PIOG

[thebailiffs]

So I am wondering if you think that children need a place to "blow off steam".

I feel like I am ALWAYS asking my 4 year old son to behave.  Right now it is using words like wiener, making farting noises, picking his nose and spitting with his lips.  I am talking about all of the time.  In the house, in the store always. When people ask him questions.

So I am wondering if I just can not handle this or if I need to give him more time to blow off stream.  Which I do everyday. We go to the park, play out in the back yard.  He even does this when he is in his car seat and the bath tub.

Is it just me? I get so mad when we are in public and he does these things. Nothing I do can stop him. I take things away. I get in his face and tell him no. I of course ask him nicely a million times.Yes I attempt to ignore him and that of course doesn't work. 

I just never imagined I would have a child act like this. If he is not doing something, like reading or working on something he is acting up.

Any thoughts..

[TristansMom440]

When I read the title of your post, my first thought was more time outside playing or go to the park.  But you said you are doing those things, so IDK what else you could do.  He obviously is getting enough "running around" time and not being cooped up in the house all day.   I don't really have any good advice for you.  Sounds like he is doing these things to get a reaction out of you?  All I could suggest is going to the library and checking out the Supernanny book.  My dad checked it out and read it when he was dealing with my niece and her issues ('cause she spends alot of time w/my parents).  Good luck!

[thebailiffs]

Thanks for making a comment.  I am now convienced that at least at school he is being influenced by another child who has always been bad and does bad things. 

Now sue how I correct/stop the other stuff, but we are working through it.

Take care

 

[Jess--DJsMom]

"I get so mad when we are in public and he does these things."

JMHO--That is why he does it.  Think about how much power he has over you in that moment--how can he resist?  Take the emotion out of it, ignore what you can, and inform him calmly, "We don't spit" (or "get a tissue for your nose" or whatever) when necessary.  Tell him want you WANT, not just what you don't want. "I need you to ____".  "If you do, you will have to go to timeout" (or whatever), which serves as a warning.  Then stick to it.  Whatever you decide, be consistent.  He is not mad. YOU are mad, which is only in your control.  Kids will do anything for attention, positive or negative.  If you are consistent, his behavior will improve.  It will most likely get WORSE before it gets better (example: if you kick the soda machine and the can of soda falls out 75% of the time, you might kick it harder several times, thinking "it worked before!", before you stop and give up).  Good luck, and hope this helps.  Believe me, my son will do anything annoying all the more if I so much as comment on it.  I ignore what doesn't harm anyone, and correct with consequences when necessary.

Sorry if I sound like I am lecturing--I am a school therapist, so I usually have to be pretty straight forward.  ; )

[thebailiffs]

Thanks for the help. It is always when he has down time. So I ask him to bring something in the store or I get him something to eat while we are shopping, or even better I don't bring him!

 

[MichelleMc]

Quoting Jess--DJsMom:

"I get so mad when we are in public and he does these things."

JMHO--That is why he does it.  Think about how much power he has over you in that moment--how can he resist?  Take the emotion out of it, ignore what you can, and inform him calmly, "We don't spit" (or "get a tissue for your nose" or whatever) when necessary.  Tell him want you WANT, not just what you don't want. "I need you to ____".  "If you do, you will have to go to timeout" (or whatever), which serves as a warning.  Then stick to it.  Whatever you decide, be consistent.  He is not mad. YOU are mad, which is only in your control.  Kids will do anything for attention, positive or negative.  If you are consistent, his behavior will improve.  It will most likely get WORSE before it gets better (example: if you kick the soda machine and the can of soda falls out 75% of the time, you might kick it harder several times, thinking "it worked before!", before you stop and give up).  Good luck, and hope this helps.  Believe me, my son will do anything annoying all the more if I so much as comment on it.  I ignore what doesn't harm anyone, and correct with consequences when necessary.

Sorry if I sound like I am lecturing--I am a school therapist, so I usually have to be pretty straight forward.  ; )

Great post.

 

Also, don't fall into the I won't bring him shopping either. That will just make him never behave in public.

Also, I don't agree with kids eating in the store either. Eat before you go, and then stay firm while in the store. I was an associate that lost a bonus half because of accidents ( 9 out of 10 times it was food a child dropped that a parent didn't know they dropped. Fries, cookies, crackers, grapes, etc ) Plus it is also a bad habit to start. Do you eat when you shop?

[jeh81489]

Yes, if I can tell that my son needs time because he is having a fit I tell him to go to his room and lay down or just go to his room until he stops.