Raising a Teenage Boy

[judim]

Hello....I'm pretty new to this site....any moms of tweens and teens? My only son just turned 13.  Anyone struggling to help your boys make good decisions with about entertainment, electronic gadgets, chores, making and spending money, choosing good friends, house rules, acne, etc..???

Is there a different site for this age group?  Mabye I missed it and need some re-direction, but I'd love to hear from you moms whose kid sounds like their DAD when they answer the phone now!  Yikes!

And I thought potty-training was a challange!! 

[joannarenay]

Yes, I am right there with you.  My son turned 13 in May and is taller than I am!  I had no idea it would be this hard.  I am secong guessing every decision I make regarding him.  It scares me to death to think he will be and "adult" in just 5 years.  There is so much for him to learn about being an adult between now and then.  I really want him to trust me and learn from the mistakes I made rather than him having to make them himself to learn the lesson, I just don't think he believes me!  No doubt, this is the most difficult stage of parenting!!!!

[judim]

I just love the quote you have at the end of your post - about a mom not being someone to lean on, but who makes leaning unnecessary - this really says it all for me.  For me, it's a balanccing act of trying to teach them, but not always being on them about something.....because I probably could be.  "This friend, that game, dirty room, have you practiced piano today, homework?..... "   I'm sick of hearing myself sometimes. 

My husband is a pretty easy-going guy when it comes to raising our son, except in areas of respectfulness and thoughtfulness to others.  I'm grateful for that.  It's so important.  But that leaves a lot of other stuff, and I often feel like the nag.  My husband said when he was 13, no amount of nagging from his parents helped - he had to learn on his own or by good examples in other kids.  I don't know what to do with that. 

Anyway, can I ask you what your video game rules are?  Do you have them in the house?  How much time can be spent on tv or videogames (I combine them, and he can choose how he wants to use his time).

Thanks for reply!

 

[MichelleMc]

Right there with you. Jonathan is 14. I have been very thankful to not have major issues yet, but still 4 years to go. LOL.

We have video games but from the moment they came in the house there were rules on length, etc. Now that he is older, he gets more time as long as other things are done & he isn't living on them. He is usually good about not even playing them for days and some days playing them alot more, so, it works out ok. He still reads, writes his stories, and loves to go do fun things with people. So that is good.

My major things is knowing that I am raising a man. I love the quote that says, Raising a boy is easier than repairing a man. I know that he will be a man, hopefully a husband & father so I try to go thru life with that thought process.

It is hard to juggle keeping on them & nagging, LOL.

[JavaMom2one]

I'm raising a new teen too.  My ds turned 13 four months ago.

For me the hardest thing is that I have to remind him to do everything.  Does anyone else have to do this?

I have to tell him to put on deo, wash his face, brush his teeth, etc...  I don't think it's because he forgets, I think he just doesn't want to take time to do these things.

[MichelleMc]

He never forgets Deo, he showers daily but the two times a day teeth he will skip at times. Always remembers mornings but night, he slacks, LOL.

Jonathan will be 16 in a week! We are dealing with permit to drive, drivers training this summer & him counting the days til he can go into the Army.

He is becoming more & more a responsible man, but still is a teen so has his slacker moments, LOL. But, it is great to get to the point we are because it isn't Man Mom I don't want to it is oh shoot I know I should have done that & does it. So that is a great step. He is doing alot better with planning things out, etc.

It is hard as a parent to still remember they aren't grown & we still can't be their "friends" yet. Somedays me, the big bad this is how it is mom, will be a bit easier going. But he also knows I will be right there to chew his butt out if the easy going allowed him some undue slacking or bad choices, LOL.

I love him to death & he is one awesome teen. I am thankful. Compared to some horror stories you hear. But it still is work, and I don't know how some people with 3 teens do it. I sometimes thing if people started with teens not babies, I wonder if they would have 3,4,5 ? LOL. I am sure they still would but I am thankful for my only :) Especially as the costs start to go up. We are starting with high school yearbook costs, we got his class ring now, which was great to get it done & paid for, dances, permit, insurance, next year will be senior pictures & all that comes with the senior year. It all adds up quick!