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Need a laugh? PIOG.

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:15 PM
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DH found these and said every child who is HS should learn these quips!

Extremely Annoying Questions about Homeschooling

Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming humans are capable of asking extremely annoying questions about homeschooling? Although I am always too polite to be snide, the following answers always run through my mind when I hear the following questions:

Do your parents make you homeschool?
*Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.

Do you have any friends?
*No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.

How do you meet people?
*I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.

Do you get graded?
*Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
*I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macamre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
*I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.

Is homeschooling legal?
*No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal just by talking to me! Or .......
*Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.

Do you like homeschooling?
*Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.

Are you going to homeschool your kids?
*Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
*Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:15 PM
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