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All about Toddlers All about Toddlers

Advice Please!!

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:49 PM
  • 5 Replies

So my wonderful daughter will be 2.5 in two days. Where do i begin. My parents were very strict with me. They did not let me learn from my own mistakes and didnt let me expore who I wanted to be. I wanted the exact opposite for my daughter, but I feel like EVERY SINGLE DAY is a constant battle. She acts out, gets disciplined then turns around and does it again, just to get a rise out of me. I ignore her, and she hits me and kicks me. So she gets in trouble again and its a daily viscious cycle I would like to just have a day where there are no fights, no anger and both of us are calm. Im so tired of fighting. I am a single mom and the only time i have away is day care. Then im at work, and thats stressful. Im at my wits end, I dont know how to make things better for us. Its a horrible power struggle everyday. Its only been for a little while, but when we go in public she throws tantrums. She throws at least 4-5 a day. Have ANY OTHER MOMS gone through this? What did you do? Is this just because shes two? Is this the normal way toddlers are supposed to act? I talk to my friends who ahve sons about 6 months older, but they dont act out maybe on a rare occasion, so as hard as they try they are baffled by my stories and can offer no advice. That is all i want, advice, or a light at the end of the tunnel that this IS normal

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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Replies (1-5):
MixedCooke
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:12 AM

yeah pretty normal for a 2 yr old, they are exploring their boundaries as far as what they can and cannot get away with, you should try time outs but give a warning count of 5, but you MUST follow through.  If you say you are going to put in time out then you NEED to do it or they learn quickly that you dont follow through and will use that to their advantage.  They throw a tantrum and see you give in, guess what is going to continue??!  the TANTRUM!  Do give some measure of independence out by allowing her to make decisions as to what color to where, what to eat, etc and try compromising.  Arguing with a 2 yr old is pointless.  You are her parent so stop acting like her friend and act like her parent!

aeneen
by New Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Oh no she gets time outs daily. Maybe 10-15 times a day because it doesn't work, she apologizes I let her out and she does the same thing not ten seconds later I'm at a point where I feel like I'm being too strict and not allowing her to enjoy herself because the second i give her freedom to make her own decisions she does something that shows she doesn't deserve it.
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Maliannie
by New Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:50 AM

i'd say its pretty normal. I know its incredibly aggravating for you though. As far as the tantrums go, when my son starts in, I put him in his room and dont let him out until he stops. If we are out in public (which he's only done once) i just let him throw his fit, and tell him " not going to work kiddo! Thats not the way to get what you want" be prepared to ignore some dirty looks from others though. Just try to keep your sanity girl. Its a phase, it will pass.

flutterbeckie3
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:48 PM

I feel like it is normal, and there are just varying degrees of behavior for toddlers. It just seems that at this age (my daughter is almost 3) they are full of energy and less able to communicate what they want verbally. They also lack the ability to understand the WHY of things, so she may not get why you are exactly punishing her. I've heard it this way by someone in the childhood development field- it can take up to 100 times of telling them something before they truly understand it. While that may be a slight exaggeration, I feel like it isn't too far off the mark. I wish you the best of luck! Some days I sure feel frustrated, as well.

flutterbeckie3
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:50 PM

If you are worried about being too strict like your parents were, then use a good balance of positive reinforcement, and picking your battles. I do not punish for every little thing, but things that could be dangerous or are definite no-no's (such as hitting someone or climbing on furniture when she knows it's wrong) she will get put in time out for.

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