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All about Toddlers All about Toddlers

Husband and mother-in-law undermining discipline

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:05 AM
  • 2 Replies
My daughter is 2 and I try really hard to set limits and boundaries that are appropriate for her age. Maybe I'm a bit inflexible, but I know that without being told "no" she'll be out of control. My husband, on the other hand, is tired when he comes home and will do anything to placate her, including completely undermining me. He says I'm too strict for her age; maybe he's right, but I don't think it's every too early to set limits. So then, there's my mother-in-law. I absolutely love her like she were my own mother; she is the dearest woman, but she gives my daughter absolutely anything she wants to keep her happy. It would be one thing if she lived far away and spoiled her twice a year, but she's 5 blocks away and sees her every day. I don't mind telling my husband to respect my rules, but I'm not at all comfortable telling my mother in law not to enable my daughter. My husband (big surprise) won't talk to his mom about this for anything. He and his brothers were all placated throughout childhood and into adulthood. He sees no problem. I see a 14-year-old with an eyebrow piercing... Interestingly, when we flew out to see my parents, they were strict with my daughter like they were with me. By the end of 2 weeks, her behavior had improved.
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:05 AM
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Replies (1-2):
RighteousLove
by New Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:33 PM

yes mother in laws do tend to violate boundaries - that's no suprise. i'm a little uncertain whether sometimes i go to far on disciplining our toddlers too. sometimes they get into so much that we have no choice but to disciplin. set a few limitations. we've cosidered time outs but haven't done so yet. but i dunno. my kids sometimes make me feel bad - i get onto them (tantrums, so forth) and then they give me the biggest and sweetest hug afterwards. but i think you should tell your mother inlaw the way it is. you're mommy, so you do the raising. and i guess just setting reasonable punishments and limitations for your kids aren't wrong. light spankings, stern no-no's. light taps on their hands. enough to make them understand right from wrong, what they should or shouldn't get into and why. just for their protection. i see no wrong in keeping them out of harm's way. even if they don't want to get away from it lol. you just got to do what you got to do.

Wish2Be
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 5:25 PM
My MIL and DH used to undermine everything. My MIL lived with us. It was so hard and I feel your pain. Luckily she moved out of state in October and its been a hard road trying to undo what she has done.
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