HELP!!! Moms with bad dads. Sometimes he just makes me so mad!!!! (PIOG)

[skywatcher1973]

OK I just need to know. Can one parent discipline with another parent not being consistent & not going with the same rules that you want with your child?

Here's my story.

I have 5 kids 4 of them are teens. I never really had a set list of rules for them just did what I felt they needed to follow. I wasn't strict with them. They didn't have to follow the normal rules. Well now I have my 2.5yr old & I want him to follow some rules like
NO HITTING
No sitting/climbing on the table/coffee table/couches
Stay out of the kitchen when mommy or daddy or grandma is cooking
No throwing toys IN the house, or at people
If mommy or daddy says stop then you have to stop
NO SCREAMING
Play gently with the dogs
Help Moma pick up your toys
BRUSH TEETH BEFORE BED                                     SAY PLEASE/THANK YOU/excuse me
Crayons and markers stay at the kitchen table or momma's desk.
NO BAD WORDS

All normal things right? (I did get these from moms on here) Well my DH doesn't believe in a written out set of rules. He wants to make them up as he goes along. He also is not consistent. My son can come in the kitchen sometimes & then other times not. Confusing my son. So I need to know that if I go through this list & follow it everytime & it's only me that's following it. Will it work? Will my son learn these things? Will things be tuff for him? I am so mad right now cause my husband doesn't really seem to want things to change. I tried talking to him & he basically said he would do things the way he wants. If he wants a rule followed then I have to follow it, but if I want a rule followed he does what he wants & lets my son break the rule. So I say stay out of the kitchen & he says he can stay then we have a problem because my son won't know what to do. Now when that happens I will just buckle & let my son stay in the kitchen. I don't want to argue the rules in front of my son, but how can I inforce the rules when my husband is at home too?

[AngieO]

If you figure this out let me know. My man is by no means a bad dad he loves the kids very much but we conflict in this department too.WE try to give each other room but sometimes...Grrrr. But its a bit different with teens I imagine. My oldest is 7. We still basic problems.