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Going to Counseling

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:24 PM
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Sorry I've been missing in action for a while.


I had a month or two there that were really hard and dark for me...and our marriage was really suffering.  Here's hoping that was the rock bottom addicts talk about needing to happen before recovery. My husband went to our Bishop, and he has hooked us up with counseling appointments.


And I really like the approach this counselor has taken. He keeps saying "you can't control the addiction, but you have no excuse not to be able to control this little thing." And he gives my husband a goal for something little like...if he uses the computer lab at college to use a computer where the lab tech can easily see it. 


And week by week, goal by goal, he's been hedging in the addiction, and blocking off common acting out situations...and it first reduced acting out, and now it's stopped for a whole month. 


I'm worried about getting my hopes up too high. I still feel like there's going to be relapses. But now my husband at least feels like maybe he can't control his addiction, but he can control a lot of little things around it. 


by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:24 PM
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Replies (1-4):
oliviahank
by New Member on Aug. 30, 2009 at 1:56 AM

I just joined. It does not look like many women are active on here. I am glad you are going to counseling. I start counseling thus Thursday just for myself. My hubby is still too embarrassed and I know he will say he has everything under control. I need to go because of who I have become and how he has hurt me. Sometimes it is as if my feelings do not matter. He claims he has given up on the porn but who really knows. He has lied before. And even if he has I feel he still suffers from the use. He make comments and acts as if women are objects. It really hurts.

mogencreative
by Member on Sep. 2, 2009 at 12:07 PM

Yeah, there are lots of things the counselor can teach you about how to handle the situation and keep your own sanity as much as possible....never as good as if there was no problem...but you'll still be able to find plenty of joy out of life.


...and you going might just set the example for him. If he's telling the truth and he's done, then you two can still benefit from couples counseling just to rebuild your marriage.

oliviahank
by New Member on Sep. 2, 2009 at 12:58 PM

Oh! Thanks for sending out something. It is good to see a little activity on here. I have been lonely. Lost in thoughts. Trying to get better.


mogencreative
by Member on Sep. 2, 2009 at 8:03 PM

I know it gets lonely. Especially because you don't really want to broadcast it to all your friends and family.


I like to keep them out of my marriage business as much as possible. 

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