my younger two childern lost thire dad on may 12 2005 and will never get to meet him

[sammy601]

   mary and samuel who i gave up to thire foster parents about 9 or 10 years ago lost thier dad on may 12 2005 to copd im not sure how to tell them that

[ceejay1]

SAMMY,  I am so so sorry, that you are dealing with this quite disheartening dilema.  My son was almost 4 when "we" lost his Dad, I do not know if it was easier, because he was so young, or would it have been easierfor him to have understood, had he been older.  WE , as parents so under estimate a childs ability to cope and understand.  My son was a constant member of our church, and this seemed, to me anyway, to be the best route to take when explaining.  He was very very close to his Daddy, and I worked 3 jobs, so was not able to be with him as much as his father was.  May I suggest, that you call then meet with your childrens parents, and find a mutual way to discuss this with them.  Their parents will be able to guide you with the best way to go about explaining such sad losses to them.  I, would not MYSELF, do this without including their parents.  YOU may be very surprised at how much they already know, since they are of an age to be able to find info easier , than say...when my son was that age.  My son is now 30, and remebers MOST all things about the death of his Daddy(car accident0, but does not have the greatest recollection of Day to Day activities with his Dad.  I suspect this is for many reasons, some of which is a form of mental protection, but most what he feels is what others have told him.  I wish you the most sincerest of condolences, and hope you will contact their parents, and work together with them...for this will go far, in showing 'your' children...just how far you have indeed come.  Blessings, C.J.