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Hi

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:48 PM
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Admins please feel free to move this to the appropriate forum if it is necessary.

I am a forgotten part of the adoption triad. I am the wife to an adoptee. I have FINALLY spoken and gotten my husband to agree to give an honest search for his birth mom. However, I will be having to do most of the leg work. He's given me his blessing and I have POA. He works quite a bit and I am a SAHM for now and willing to do as much as I need to do. I have gotten some information regarding my husbands birthmom Mona. I will be tryign to at least get photo copies of the letters Mona sent to my MIL to see if they hold any other information for us. I guess the point is, where do I start? She clearly expressed her love for my husband. We are military and are NOT in the same state that the adoption occured in so that throws a wrench in things. And from my understanding the Texas Cradle Society was shut down for illegal adoptions/ unethical practices a while back. I already have sent and email to a Patricia Molina in the State Department of Vital Records.... And i am exremely inpatient!


Alaina

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:48 PM
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onethentwins
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:58 PM

If you already have the name of his bmom you are ahead of the game.

Go to the "Adoption Search Resource" group for ideas on how to search http://www.cafemom.com/group/35065 

You need to register your husband on Soundex http://www.isrr.net/ and http://registry.adoption.com/ 

I'm guessing you've already tried googling her and looking on FB and myspace.

Also you can google for a volunteer searcher by entering "search angel Texas".

Good luck.

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:48 PM

Adoption impact is far reaching and I had an example of it recently when I reunited a son and his mom a couple weeks ago. His wife was who contacted me and did all the correspondence and I was impacted at how future generations are lost from their heritage. It is the wives/husbands and the children of adoptees that deserve to know their heritage. When I hear of an adoptee that doesn't want to reunite, all I can think of is that it isn't their right to deny the origins to thier children.

Good luck on the search. If you have her name, even if it is her maiden, check facebook.

vampporcupine


raised mom to 2, first mom to 1

Alaina623
by New Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 6:05 PM

I only have her name as far as Mona or Monica S. She was due to graduate in 1989. I am asking my inlaws for any information I can get from them. I have been pushing my husband to find her for a while now. It wasnt until I told him the stories of what happened at the Texas Cradle Society that he even wavered. They were well known for essentially tormenting the mothers until at least the 1970's. Off to register him on the suggested sites! Thanks!

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 6:11 PM


Quoting Alaina623:

I only have her name as far as Mona or Monica S. She was due to graduate in 1989. I am asking my inlaws for any information I can get from them. I have been pushing my husband to find her for a while now. It wasnt until I told him the stories of what happened at the Texas Cradle Society that he even wavered. They were well known for essentially tormenting the mothers until at least the 1970's. Off to register him on the suggested sites! Thanks!

Fyi: there are very few of us that weren't to one degree or another "tormented" in order to obtain our children for adoption. Emotionally, financially or physically it was all the same. He might like to know that.

vampporcupine


raised mom to 2, first mom to 1

HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 6:52 PM
Gladney baby?
I'm not sure if I can offer help, but I was adopted in '76 from Gladney in Fort Worth, TX. A search angel helped me & I had ZERO information other than my dob. But...4 yrs ago I found her.
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Southernroots
by Group Admin on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:10 PM


Quoting HereWeGoAgain9:

Gladney baby?
I'm not sure if I can offer help, but I was adopted in '76 from Gladney in Fort Worth, TX. A search angel helped me & I had ZERO information other than my dob. But...4 yrs ago I found her. 

I was thinking a search angel might be her best bet. Texas is not the easiest state to search in.  Having any part of her name is HUGE.  Go ahead and get whatever you can from the state.  The Texas state website says they have records for the agency you mentioned.

Even though they may black out your birth parent's names, there can be some valuable info there.  Plus, sometimes they forget to black everything out.  A search is like putting together pieces of a puzzle, but, you don't always know what small details will result in solving the puzzle and finding the person.

Although it is good to encourage your husband to search for his roots, make sure he really is ready.  Reunion is often an extremely complicated and difficult process and he needs to really be ready. Another good book about reunion is called Birthbond.  My son bought it to read after he found me.  He waited until he was almost 32 to find me.....he was not ready till then.



juliesmom818
by Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:29 PM

hi.. 

  please becareful about some  search angel's.. some chagre a small fee and some other's charge hundred's of dollar and more.. there are a few on myspace that is free..there are a few registry's you can go too and place the info. you have of her and just wait..my daughter found me thru reunion.com now it's called my lfe.com.. i made a free profile and when someone looks at your profile (reunion.com) sent me an e-mail  and my hubby paid the 36.00 for us to look and see who placed a comment on my page..long story short.. it's been going on 3 yrs now... (I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH THEY CHARGE NOW)..but you can check it out..

    good luck on finding his mom..

   also if you have her full name(first and last name at the time) and date of birth, state, i am a member of ancestry i could see what if she show's up there..FOR NO CHARGE.. JUST SEND ME A PM WITH INFO. AND I WILL LOOK FOR YOU.. LEDA/JULIESMOM818

Cedartrees4
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:53 PM


Quoting juliesmom818:

hi.. 

  please becareful about some  search angel's.. some chagre a small fee and some other's charge hundred's of dollar and more..

If they are charging money, they're not a search angel, they're a for-profit business.  They are no angel!  And there's nothing angelic for charging money to people who should never have been separated to begin with.  :(

There are bona-fide search angels who do not charge.   The other ladies in this group have good suggestions about where to start.  Good luck! :)

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