Welcome to Birthmoms!!!

[sing4jc2]

Thank you for joining our group!

I am so excited to see so many of you here.  Every one of you has a special story, a unique combination of heartbreak and joy.  If you feel comfortable sharing a post, please do!  Many of you have done that already, and the interaction has been amazing.

Please be respectful and encouraging, as inappropriate posts will be deleted (sorry to have to be the heavy, but I want all to feel comfortable here).

Posting messages for the whole group to read is such a great way to reach out and connect with moms just like you ~ if there are times you'd rather not post to the whole group, however, you are always welcome to send me a private message.  I want to be here to help, or just listen...and be a friend.

Again, thank you for joining!  I hope this group will be helpful and fun.

God bless!
Kym

[PEAPER]

HELLO I  AM NOT SURE IF I AM POSTING THE RIGHT STUFF ,BUT I AM A BIRTHMOM WHO GAVE UP A CHILD BECAUSE I WAS TO YOUNG AND THE WAY I GOT PREGENT WAS NOT VERY GOOD ,SOME MAY THINK I AM A LITTLE WEIRD BUT I AM NOT GOOD AT WRITING DOWN HOW I FEEL, I AM HOPING THIS SIGHT IS THE ONE SIGHT THAT I CAN FIND OTHER WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGHT WHAT I HAVE AND MAYBE I ALSO WILL BE ABLE TO FIND MY DAUGHTER . 


                                             THANK YOU PEAPER

[janetthered]

I wanted to share my story.... I am not only a birth mom but an adoptee.... My search for my biological mother continues 41 years later, but my biological daughter found me with the help of her adopted parents 10 years ago.... She has been a sister to my son and daughter, and a great friend to me.... I find the relationship I have with her has filled a void...She has also made me a Grandmother last year.... To a wonderful blue eyed boy...She is expecting again. I am so happy that my wonderful daughter now 25 sought me out because she has benefitted her brother and sister, and of course eased my mind. Times have been tense, with her adopted mom and me at times, but I never overstep my boundaries, I was not the one to clean those snotty noses, or change dirty diapers and I remind this wonderful woman of this all the time. Although she feels uncomfortable with me I respect how she raised and loved my first child. She was my first and she was never unwanted, I had her preterm and she required alot of medical interventions and I realized 2 weeks after my 16th birthday I could not give her what she needed. I spent every day with her in the neonatal unit for almost three months, because I knew she needed to hear my voice and feel my touch. When she was released it was the most difficult time of my life, I knew the precious hours at her crib side, or holding her had come to an end. I also knew that she had a much better chance at life with an established and loving couple. This is all so emotional and just the brief overview of my birth mother story.. I will never get over the pain of loss, even though she is now a big part of my life, I know I missed so much. I am just thankful she has gotten to know my two little angels who worship the ground their big sister walks on....

[sing4jc2]

Dear Janet:

My eyes are welled up, tears streaming down my face as I read your story.  Thank you so much.  It mirrors mine to a point, so I can relate and look forward to what is still to come with my first born.  She, too, is a big sister to my daughter and they get along famously.  I am forever grateful to her mom and dad for raising her with the love and care they did.  When I was young, I did not think I would be able to give her all that she deserved to start life.  She too, was never unwanted; she was and still is, so very much loved.  I still see in my mind's eye the day they wheeled her little bassinet out of my hospital room for the last time...and how I cried and cried the day the papers were signed... but then that August day when I got her phone call.... it changed my life, and a healing and "filling" of a 21 year old void began.  Life has a funny way of working out, you know?  I thank my God for the relationship I now have with my first-born daughter, and the future still ahead.  I continue to learn not to give up...that all things work together for good...we only need to trust and believe. 

<><
Kym

[sing4jc2]

Hi Peaper!

Welcome to the site.  You're not weird :) and you've come to the right place.  Releasing a child for adoption is so difficult, but also so wonderful for the family you've blessed.  You gave them the most wonderful gift of all...life.  I pray that you will one day be reunited with your child and that you will experience the fulfillment that comes from that.  Until then, know that you made the choice that shows the most love for your child...you sacrificed so that she could have the home you couldn't provide at 16.  Many girls don't make the choice for life, so I'm very proud of you (sorry if that sounds a bit "Momish")  :)
Thanks for joining "Birthmoms" and feel free to write anytime.

Take care,
Kym
<><

[fostermom6]

Hello.  I am new to this site and wonder if anyone else out there is a foster parent?  I have been fostering for 6 years now and have had 2 girls.  the first one tried to set my house on fire so i had to let her go.  i did take care of her for almost 3 years though.  just kept thinking I can help her.  I guess she was so damaged my molestation she would just not try to help herself.  today, I have another little girl who is 10 yo.  I have had her now for almost 2 years and she is absolutely wonderful.  she is a little red head and has beautiful blue eyes.  her mom brought her to me (even though we had never met) and asked me to adopt her.  Well, I could sure use some input on that.  I am 62 years old and not sure what all adoption involves.  I told her mom for now, I would offer her a safe place and would be permenant.  Her mom never sends letters or any kind of communication.  My little girl does ask about her mom but all i can do is offer her a lot of love and help her get through what i know is a difficult time. She has been molested by her dad and grandad.  She is so fun to have and we go a lot of places together.  I love her so very very much.  If you have a view on adoption please let me know. 

sorry if i have the wrong site for this type of email. 

thanks babalu

[squiggs]

I'm new here and was a bit hesitant to join this group.  i feared the emotional swell and painful memories would overcome me.

I feel that i may just be the silent on-looker in the crowd as i'm not ready to share my personal story yet.  But I do know that just by joining this group, i've allowed the healing process to begin.

it's wonderful to have a place where everybody who has been touched by adoption can come together as friends.  What a great place to be!!!!

[DJPrincess]

I'm 23 and just had my baby on Jan. 19th.  Being 3 weeks early and fun back labor, that was a shock.  I was pretty lucky though...  I got to the hospital at 12 with them telling me I was dialated to 8!!  lol  I had him by 4am and stayed at the hospital with him for 2 days.  It was so hard to give Ryan to the couple we chose when we were leaving.  I am a very strong person and yes I cried and cried and cried but now I feel so much better.  Just saw him a few weeks ago and he's so wonderful!!  Starting to look a lot like me even taking after my shyness and dimples!  =)  I can't wait till he gets older so I can talk to him.  So exciting... 

[Sherylee]

Hi,
I'm new to Birthmoms and not quite sure where to start. I gave up my daughter for adoption 26 years ago. The hardest decision anyone would ever have to make in their lives. I was 17 when she was born and my mom bless her heart made me realize the reality of trying to take care of a child with a year of high school still to go, a mom that worked 2 jobs to take care of us (my sister and I), a step dad that worked construction and my sister who was 2 years younger than I. How was I going to care for her and get her  to appointments or what ever else is needed? I hadn't decided to fully give her up until a month before she was born. I was being stubborn and bull headed as I can be. But I finally decided at that point in my life it was the best thing I could do for her. I cried  up until her 16th birthday at that point I was able to make it through without crying or being out of sorts. 
In Jan. of this year I recieved a phone call from my mother that my daughter was looking for me. I couldn't even talk to my mom, my husband had to finish the conversation. My mom had said that my best friend from high school had been contacted by DHS. They had finally tracked her down because I had lived with her when I was pregnant. All they had was my first name and the biological fathers first name. So thank God for a lady there that was willing to go into the basement files and do some digging. So I contacted my girlfriend and she gave me the info and I contacted DHS. I talked to the lady there and she said I needed to sign a release in order for my daughter to recieve the information. I said fax it and I'll sign it. I sent it back and within an hour I had her information and her email at that time I also found out that I am a grandmother too. So now besides trying to phathom being a birhtmom it's trying to grasp the whole being a grandmother. She has two boys and they're 6 and 4. I emailed her immediately and we've been talking (emailing) almost daily. If we call on the phone we're usually on it for hours (thank goodness we have the same cell carriers).  So that's my story in a nut shell (condensed version) Thanks for letting me join and I hope to talk with more of you soon. I just have so many feelings happening at once and at times not sure how to deal with them.

[kstevars]

Hi,  I am new to the group as well.  I have given up two children, one at birth and one when she was 7. 

Up until New Year's Eve this year I had what I thought was a really good relationship with my birthdaughter.  She is the one I gave up when she was 7.  It is a very open adoption.  She just had a baby on July 6th and I am not sure if I will ever get to see her.  She thinks for some reason that I have always hated her.  That is not true at all and she won't talk to me so I can tell her these things.

My birthson, the one I gave up at birth, is 18 now.  He called me two days before his 18th birthday.  His adoption was a semi-open adoption.  I always had contact with his parents.  I always got pictures.  His parents brought him up for a visit in April so we got to meet.  That went pretty good.  I have gotten several e-mails since then and he always signs them "Love, Jonathan".

[jankinge]

I WHICHED I COULD OPEN UP AND SHARE ALL MY SAD FEELING IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE FRIENDS U CAN TALK TO