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Update

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:25 PM
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I gave my first born son up in 1997. I got a update on him right after he was adopted. Then I kept up on sending letters and cards(b-days,christmas ect.....) For 11 years I heard nothing. One day I stopped by the agency to drop off a b-day card and they gave it to a different worker. She had no clue what the deal was so she dug into it and contacted the A-parents. She told them that I had been sending things for 11 years that just sat in the agency. They told her to send it all. Them on 12-19-08 I got a letter from the A-parents. They agreed to keep the communication open. I kept in touch with the worker by e-mail. I sat down and asked if there was a chance that I could try to get a up to dat photo( all I have are baby pics) I stressed to her that I don't want to get involved until they are ready I just want to see what he looks like. They sent me a really awesome letter and a photo on 5-5-11 right before Mother's Day. Best present ever. It has been a rough road but I am patient and I am happy with what I get. The feeling I got when I seen that Picture was amazing. This has made a impact on my life. Now I have something to look forward to. The A-parents are awesome. I sent them and the worker Thank You cards.

by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on May. 21, 2011 at 12:55 PM
Wow, can you effin imagine?! Those cards & letters, just sitting there ALL those years. The impact they could have made on your child, on his parents. I hope now they've read them all & understand that they were taken advantage of too - not worth the stamp it would take to mail these precious things :-( I'm so sorry but grateful to the new SW for investigating & doing what's right!! I hope this is the beginning of something wonderful. Bless you for hanging on & never giving up! As an adoptee, I thank you!
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Luuckymommy
by Member on May. 21, 2011 at 2:42 PM

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry that the things you sent sat there all those years but I am so glad that contact has finally been made. Good Luck and congrats!

brandyl673
by Member on May. 21, 2011 at 7:56 PM

So happy for you :)

susie703
by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:13 PM

How sickening that your mail sat there for so long.  Thank goodness you went in there.  I'm happy that things are going well now,   I hope it is just the beginning to a wonderful new beginning for yo and your son.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2011 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not in the least surprised that your letters weren't forwarded to you. Adoption agencies don't care about what happens after they get their money. They should be sued. I'm glad you found a decent SW to help you out with that. Let this be a lesson to anyone wanting an open adoption. Make sure there is full openness; make sure you have all the aparents contact information.

I hope you continue to receive your letters and get comfort from them.

Bubbly54
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2011 at 11:12 PM

Boy, how unfair is that?  You send the letters and packages in good faith that they will be forwarded on, and they sit there.  It is so nasty - but how lovely that the aparents now know that you want to be involved, and seem to want to keep in touch - and a picture right before Mothers Day is awesome.  I hope it continues for you.

kristen308
by Member on May. 22, 2011 at 11:20 PM

wow! I am so sorry that everything just sat in the agency's office, that's terrible. But, what a great outcome. Good for you for never giving up. :-)

ceejay1
by on May. 23, 2011 at 7:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 I agree with the others!  Adoption leaves us with a void, especially when what is promised is not followed.  Social Wreckers(SOME), try to play "GOD" without realizing what effect it has on ALL parties involved, including our childs 'new parents".  When ,after a certain amount of time passed, they were surely left with wondering why you wanted no part of your childs life.  This is what pisses me off, about adoption.  Each of us can only give "truth" to what it is we journey, not the adoptee, or adopter, how can we?  But when we have many ,many who come and "tout" that adoption is a loving kind choice, PEE-SHAW, they can't see into the future, and cannot possibly answer for "our" children!  I do not know what was in my twins new parents' hearts/minds, when they adopted, however, they certainly did not know what was in mine...I waited 23 yrs., to get those "promised" photos.  They were found in an empty storage space, used to store boxes upon boxes of adoption cases,(the agency has been closed for years), my twin sons file, a box full of paperworks/records was found in the far back, at the bottom of the heap.  Nov. 2009 I recieved a photo , even though it was 23 yrs late...I wept like a child, and it felt like Christmas!  So fantastic, you are getting this chance, GODS speed with each of you,Blessings CJ~

~CJ1~
becksters
by Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 8:21 AM
2 moms liked this

Thank you all for the kind words. I have always been a strong person and for my son I never gave up. Now when I send stuff I e-mail the worker and with in a day or 2 she e-mails me to let me know she got it and sent it out. Now it is the waiting game to see when the A-parents decide to tell my son about me and his siblings. He just turned 14 on November 3. I have his new pic on my fridge so I see him everyday. I post his pic on my Facebook on his b-day and tell him Happy Birthday. I hope the day comes soon. He doesn't have much family on this end, just me, my kids and my mom which has alot of health problems and heart issues. Everyone else is already gone. I don't know about his dad's family (other than his mom passed away a few years ago). So with all this said I am waiting for him with open arms.

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 9:22 AM

It's a rough journey, but so worth the wait! I'm so happy you've been able to start communication, finally, with the afamily.

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