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The Nursery

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:46 PM
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Off topic... I was pregnant w Avery for 37 weeks. I planned his adoption for 35 (technically about 32 weeks from the time I got a positive test..). Avery will be 9 months old tomorrow. He's been alive two weeks longer than I carried him; 39 weeks.
A week before he was born, Shawn & I moved things around, moved kids around & freed up a spare room to be his nursery. We painted it...that's all. The girls now share a pink & purple room. My 5 yr old & 13 yr old sons each have their own room, as does Avery.. Making THEIR rooms into their own has not been an issue for me. Not complete due to $$, but very boyish or girlish, their own toys, furniture, the works.
Then there's Avery. For months I felt guilty just having him. I knew I'd made the right decision, but I felt like I was sharing him, like he belonged to "them," like someone was going to say "ok, time to say goodbye, now." the bond & love have been strong from the start, but I spent so many months planning, preparing my heart for goodbye...
Last night we nearly completed the nursery! Well..almost. A few simple things left to do, but it looks like HIS room now. I cried like a baby. There's something very symbolic to me about his room. Shawn didn't entirely get it, tho he hugged me and let me feel what I needed to. My 13 y/o GOT it. But he was there for all the planning & adoption discussions, tears & fears. He hugged Avery tightly and rocked him to sleep.
He has a room & for whatever reason, it took me 9 months to finally feel like he is MINE, not leaving and it all is wrapped up in the symbolism of having his very own room.
Thank you for letting me share.

Sydney xo
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by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:48 PM

The color is off, but you get the idea..
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:48 PM

One angle of the nursery
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:49 PM

And the dear boy who fills the crib (& of course, our hearts!!).
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vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:29 PM

 The part about your son rocking him to sleep is so emotional for me. The impact that your oldest son would have had on his life missing his little brother is very very profound.

 

HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:12 PM
VP, I can't really think about it. I mean, I do, but I avoid it. Hunter (my eldest) is one of those one-of-a-kind people, someone who is loved by all who meet him, wise beyond his years & always has been, altruistic & funny, far more intelligent than most adults I know. He'd have coped, but how it would have changed the course of his entire life...I shudder to think. All the things he could (& likely will) accomplish...tainted, changed. It's impossible now to grasp what the hell I was thinking. But thanks to this group, and so unfortunately to the pain you've endured, I will only ever know one aspect of the triad. I'm much happier being an adoptee than a "birthmother."
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vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:06 PM

That made me cry, I'm glad you are only on one side of the "triad/constellation" also.

susie703
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 5:50 PM


Quoting vampporcupine:

That made me cry, I'm glad you are only on one side of the "triad/constellation" also.

Oh, me too! 

And how big Avery is getting!!  That pic is absolutely adorable ~ kiss that beautiful little chubby face for me.  His bedroom is cuter than cute too.

doodlebopfan
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 6:19 PM

 That is a beautiful room for a wonderful baby boy! I love that he's made his mark not only on your/our hearts, but also on your house! :) Your oldest truly is a unique person. :) 

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:50 PM

Aw,so sweet. I love hearing about a 13 year old brother with so much love and compassion. I have a son like him, who can take one look at me and know I need a hugg. It's wonderful.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:47 PM

no. Thank you for sharing. We totally get it and I think the significance of 9 months is obvious. Yey for Avery and your family.

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