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I have no daughter....

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:44 AM
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I'm done. They took my child. They have allowed her predator of a father to still be in her life, but have turned her against me. If this doesn't make sense check out some of my older posts. This is not a typical adoption situation.

They have done too much:
Set me up to take my child.
Paid my ex to relinquish.
Admitted to what really happened five years later, yet still keep me away, and let the predator stay.
Promised contact and that they would never take her and did the exact opposite.
Stolen our only photo albums and baby box with her newborn hospital blanket in it and her bracelet.
Blocked me on Facebook, but my child has stolen photos of my current children on her Facebook. My husband is furious. We have tried extensively to hide from the abusive predator my ex is, keeping my life private. He would show up at my work, where I hung out, leave business cards on my car, find unlisted numbers to speak to me. He beat me, raped me, emotionally torchered me. Now here he is looking at pictures of my family and commenting on them.

On top of that my child has posted pictures of myself on her Facebook, and they used it as a bashing thread. She put my married name underneath it. I find that strange.

I can't handle anymore. I'm done. I have no daughter. I can't do this. I won't shun her if she comes to me, but I can't do anything. If I allowed them to adopt her I wouldn't be as upset, but this lays so deep. I have four other kids that need me. This child is so screwed up by the sick people around her. I can't fix her. the damage is done. They chose this. She's their child. It's been ten years since this happened. I tell people I have four kids, not five. I don't need to explain myself over and over again to a bunch of people who will NEVER understand, never believe me, and just pass judgement. I have enough guilt for not seeing what they were doing. I failed. It's ripping me up. Making me sick. I've been crying for two days.

The last time I saw her she was three. I asked her, " who am I ?" she looked at me puzzled and blank. She says, "I don't know". I knew I'd never see her again. It was done.
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Musicmom80
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:55 AM
I knew I shouldn't have written this.....now I'm a horrible person, right?
ceejay1
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:18 PM

 I am so so sorry, that this is happening to you, and wish I could erase all the hurt, the emotions of losing your daughter:(  NO you are not a horrible person...You , my friend, are a Mom, without her child..plain and simple!

Adoption may in some very rare instances be what is best for a child....however, MOST times it is not.  I send this with huge hugs, and lots of tears for what it is doing to you, and even to your daughter.  CJ~

Aislin
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:18 PM

You are not a horrible person. You are hurt beyond words. Have you reported everything to facebook and asked for it to be removed?

I honestly don't know that I would feel any differently. There is only so much one person can take. You do not deserve to be abused like this. It might be time to step back and wait for her to come to you. I am so sorry.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:22 PM

No you're not a horrible person. You're doing what you have to do to protect yourself from a terrible situation. 

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:23 PM

 

Quoting Musicmom80:

I knew I shouldn't have written this.....now I'm a horrible person, right?

 Why did you post this reply? Did someone say something rude to you?

I can't remember how old your daughter is. Hopefully one day she will get a glimpse of the truth and realize what she has done. The evil ap's and her father are playing her like a puppet. Report it to Facebook.

Hugs

blessedwboysx3
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:33 PM

You're definitely not a horrible person, you're a mom in pain.  It's terrible what her ap's and her father have done to turn her against you and I'm sure if I was in the same situation I would be hurt and angry.

Sometimes walking away is the best thing we can do, especially when it comes to protecting ourselves.

I'm sorry you've had to endure all of these things.

Musicmom80
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Quoting vampporcupine:



Idk, you get enough people treating you like the bad guy, you start feeling like it. It seems like I've tried to do all the right things and it just doesn't matter.
laura2669
by New Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:38 PM

Expressing yourself does not make you a horrible person. You are not one, you are a person that has been hurt. I am sorry for your pain. One other person said walking aaway is the best thing you can do right now. For yourself and your children. This will all come out in the long run, and ahe will see that she was wrong for what she did. You have 4 children and a husband that need you strong and need you every day. Keep your head up!!

doodlebopfan
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:43 PM

 MusicMom, there are horrible people in your story and they have abused you and your daughter by stealing her from her mother. They will stand before God one day and answer for their actions, every last one of them. That doesn't make it easier or even tolerable right now. I don't know how you have survived this horrible tragedy, all of them, really. I know that you feel weak right now, but you are STRONG! Your DD is 13 (?) now, right? It's just a few short years that she'll be able to find you.

I have been doing some thinking about your last post since the last time we talked. Your DD at 13 had contacted you on FB and asked if you were her mother. You  replied that you were and that you loved her and missed her. You then said that the amom contacted you via your DD's FB and told you not to contact her anymore and blocked you and kept the predator. I have a new theory and wanted to run it past you because of the reminder that your EX who abused you emotionally and I'd bet pyschologically. 

What if......the aparents aren't even aware of this FB page? What if....your EX concocted this whole thing and made a page for a 13 year old???? Don't you have to be 16? What if he has been signing on as himself on posting trash, and been signing on as your DD (on a page he created) and posted other comments that HE knows would hurt you to the core? What if he made a page for the AP's as well? What if the FB page that your mom thinks is the AP's and your DD is really HIM???? What if....it was HIM who asked if you were "her" mom just to lure you into this internet web of deceit? What if....it was also HIM who after receiving the message on the page that HE created, responded with the painful blocking message. What if he stole the albums, posted the pictures, and is continuing to torture not only you and your family, but your mom as well as your son. I'm just saying, MusicMom, What if your daughter had no knowledge of this at all?  

That doesn't excuse what your EX and her AP's have done that has nothing to do with the internet but is in fact a crime that they have committed. That.....I don't know how  you cope with and raise 4 other children. God bless you! God bless you! God bless you! Hang in there. We're here!

Aislin
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:51 PM

I totally understand. I have the same issue. I believe the worst about myself because its all I have ever heard. I spent a long time lurking in this group too terrified to reply. I began to notice that people were expressing the feelings I kept hidden and they weren't being attacked or judged. Sometimes a random person that doesn't really belong here to begin with will attack but they are put in their place so fast it leaves my head spinning. If one person attack there are 10 right there jumping to defend.

I tell you all of this because you are far from a horrible person. You are a loving mother dealing with the horrid trauma of living without your beloved child. You can express your feelings here. They need to be let out. If anyone dares to be cruel to you even if they try to do it privately please please let us know. You deserve a safe place to work trough your feelings. We all do

 

 

 



Quoting vampporcupine:



Idk, you get enough people treating you like the bad guy, you start feeling like it. It seems like I've tried to do all the right things and it just doesn't matter.


"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." ~ Rose Kennedy

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