My daughter (28yo) has decided she wants to go with me this year when I go home to visit my family. It's a first for us. And it surprises me kinda. dd is my most sentimental child and shes getting older too. Family, history, traditions are important to her. When my MIL passed away, all she asked for and wanted was a set of her pans. That's where a lot of her memories are with her Moma, in her kitchen helping her cook.
But my found family? Its never seemed too important to my kids. But I do get it would be hard to be important without having ever met them.
So, I'm very happy that my Mom will get to meet her oldest granddaughter!!!!! Finally!!!!! And that my daughter will get a feel of where I come from as well. These kids have grown up with only their dads heritage. He's a proud Norwegian, and my kids have always been immersed in all things Viking...sometimes to the extreme. lol. It's going to feel good for my daughter to 'see' my contribution to the other half of her. :)
Do you know the strange looks I get from people when I tell them my daughter is going to meet my Mother for the very first time? rolling my eyes....... this just isnt right.
Do you have any stories to share about the grandkids? I'd like to hear them.
Quoting vampporcupine:
but...that's adoption
Isn't it? (((hugs)))
I swear it's what woke me up, that it wasn't just me that my adoption bitch slapped.. but a lot of people I love as well.
ADOPTEEME, I am so happy she is going with you, that is so wonderful:) Imagine what it must be like for HER when she tells people she is going to meet her Grandmother for the first time at age 28:( I simply cannot!
I am sad for what adoption creates...sad for me, sad for adopting parents(they are faced eachday with what brought their child into their lives),BUT, I am saddest for 'our' children lost to adoption:(
I, too will most likely NEVER get to know my grandchildren:( MAYBE from afar...and I will take what I can get;)
Quoting adopteeme:
Quoting vampporcupine:
but...that's adoption
Isn't it? (((hugs)))
I swear it's what woke me up, that it wasn't just me that my adoption bitch slapped.. but a lot of people I love as well.
I have never met my grandkids ~ yet. I hope and pray that I will soon be able to see them in person, not just through photos on fb. Heck, I would be thrilled to see a video of them ~ to hear their voices and laughter? How wonderful that would be!!
I never thought about the grandkids I was giving up when "choosing" adoption for my son...
Quoting HereWeGoAgain9:
My mom does not want to meet my children & actually my other mom (amom) has never met Avery, has never really asked about him, and pretty much shows no interest in any of the kids but my oldest. My 1mom doesn't want anything to do with me so... And what's "worse" is that my twin girl looks very much like her oldest (or would she be the 2nd oldest??) daughter & my twin boy looks just like the younger of the two boys (the one & only family member who loves me). And everyone has said that looking at my face is like looking at my 1mom. I guess she can't stand me bc of that. So really, I have no hope for relationships from any of my family members. It's just us. I'm sad but okay. What hurts is how it must feel, or one day will feel to my kids. Everyone who's supposed to love them has abandoned them. But me.
What about your husbands parents? Are they happy to be grand parents to your kids?
I can speak as the adopted child meeting the biological extended family. When I was 24 and found my birthmom, we connected instanteously. That was in November 2007. I was living in NC at the time and came home 2 weeks later for Thanksgiving. I met her in person along with my brother when I came home. Then two days later, they had a "party" at their house where I met my 2 uncles and 2 aunts....although technically I had already met one of my uncles -- crazy story! My Uncle was my ex-fiancee's boss! I had met him a few times. Anyways, back to what I was saying. So, at that party I met the immediate family. And then in June 2010 I went with her to her extended family reunion...so I met everyone! It was a blast. We went again 2011 and can't wait to go again this summer.
He has no children yet, but, they are working on it. I am eagerly looking forward to their having kids.
At his wedding reception over a year ago, his amom commented that we'd have that next to share with each other. I feel extremely fortunate that she is happy for our son that I am in the picture now and isn't jealous or mean about it.
Yes I have met my grand kids and my story is a odd one. My son and I reunited 6 years ago, it went well thru the "honeymoon stage" then began to deteriorate, I take some responsibility in the reunion failure however he is an alcoholic and has been very hurtful with his actions and words.
However i did form a bound with my granddaughter which he had custody of. He was mobilized I. The army and needed someone to care for her...and that's what I have been doing.
She is an awesome young lady and feels I'm her grandma, her Dad and I have no more communication. When she goes back to him in June I will most likely have no more contact with them...I'm very heartbroken over this whole thing..however getting the chance to care for my birth granddaughter has been a blessing I never thought would happen. In 1965 the adoptions were closed and we were told that we would never know our children...they were wrong!!!
Alcohol has distroyed many families :(
I hope your son will want to get sober soon, before he misses his life and loved ones to a blur and before it takes a toll on his health that he can't recover from. Hugs to you and your grand baby. Savor it all with her. Im glad you 2 have time together to get to know each other without your son under the influence.
How can he be active duty w/o being called out on his drinking? A 'functioning' alcoholic?
I have one of those. And living with dr jeckle mr Hyde is very very difficult. My heart goes out to you all.
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Awesome weekend! Update!!!
- adopteeme
on Feb. 1, 2012 at 7:43 AM