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I FOUND MY SON!!! UPDATE!!! WERE MEETING IN PERSON!!!!

I found my birth son. I knew his first name and suspected his last name. I have searched on facebook a hundred times since he turned 18 and could never find him. Well, earlier I just happened to type in his name and there he was!!! I knew the minute I saw his pic that it was him. I told my other children i thought I had found their brother and they messaged him and he called and asked to speak to me. I feel as if I am in shock! He seemed so happy to hear from me and to know that I had been searching. He wants to meet!!! WOW....    UPDATE #1 ok. We talked a couple of times and he has texted and talked to his siblings. Also I have another GrandSon. He is 1&1/2. So then Chance wanted to come visit so I purchased bus tickets for them. They were coming Mother's day weekend and she couldn't get off work so we rescheduled for weekend of 18th. Well, Mother's day him and his s/o gets into a hugh fight and she leaves Dallas and goes to her sister's in Houston, Tx. He thinks she went to there hometown in La. so he takes off and goes there. Long story short I think they have issues they are dealing with... Meantime I get a call from Chance asking if it would be ok if they moved here and stayed with me until they get settled.... I told him sure. I go and switch bus tickets from 2 round trip Dallas to La. To oneway one from South La. to North La. and the other from Houston to North La. I have to pick them up tomorrow an hour away from here. I am so nervous I can't think. I can't concentrate. Keep walking in circles getting nothing done!!! I am straping on my seatbelt and grabbing the safety bar because I feel the ride beginning! I just keep asking myself am I going to be a disappointment to him.....waited 20 years for this day now I don't know how to act!

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 2:28 AM
Replies (11-19):
sweetwatertaffi
by Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:01 PM

 

Quoting sweetwatertaffi:Quoting onethentwins:



I'am so scared. I know this could go so wrong!

I reunited with my son when he was about your sons age, it is scary, very. But, you're in a good place here with us that have been through it.

Where are you planning to meet?

Are you meeting alone or with others?

Are you planning on telling him his story? Do you think you'll be emotional? hug? cry? keep it light?

Any thing else you're worried about?

 I am not sure right now. His wife/girlfriend? thinks this is all going too fast. I think she is scared that his amom will have her feelings hurt. But, that is the last thing I want to happen. She has been good to him and raised him well I know she doesnt deserve to be hurt. As far as his story I gave him a brief very shortened version last night. But, I will tell him only the truth. He has spoken with my other three children and they are all excited and want to meet quickly. I sent him a message that I do not want anyone hurt from this and do not want anyone feeling as if I am pushing myself on him so I will be here when he wants or needs me. But, still all the children want to meet so badly. If I had the money to make a 5 hour trip this weekend I think we would take off and go to Dallas to meet with him. But, unfortunately I am unemployed at this moment due to caring for my sister with alzheimers so I don't know when I will be able to afford to go and take the children so we can meet. Guess I will start saving!!! My stomach feels so...nervous!

Linda22488
by Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:02 PM

Im so happy 4 you and we are all here for u.

Gwen72
by Member on Apr. 21, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Congrats!!!  I am very happy for you.  I hope your reunion goes well.

LoriPhill
by Member on Apr. 21, 2012 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Congratulations, I am happy for you too!  I reunited with my son last year after 32 years.  It is a bit of a roller coaster ride - especially in the beginning.  I felt as if I had to navigate everything very carefully.  I was afraid of going to fast and scaring him away.  But I was also afraid that if I seemed too aloof, that he would think that I wasn't interested.   But, despite all my fears, it has turned out so much better than I expected.  I hope that this is a beginning of a beautiful relationship between you and your son.

drfink
by Silver Member on Apr. 21, 2012 at 3:27 PM

Mine is through an agency so everything is still read by them even though he is 35.We just exchanged non id letters through them.His letter told me that his parents were unconditional in their love and were fully supportive of this relationship.In my return letter I made a couple of references to his parents and family.It was on purpose the way it was said.I wanted him and then them to not have concerns that somehow after 35 years I was going to sweep in and try to take over.It appears he has a very good relationship with his parents.I hope by subtlety ...kind of...letting them know I am not a threat all will still be supportive.

You may want to try this if you feel he may be being influenced by someone concerned about his A.Mom.Calm their fears.

I flat out admitted I was unsure what all to say and to ask any questions.That if something sounded off or weird to please just straight out ask.He also had said he was unsure were to start or what to say.After the 50th plus reading it I realized in his first paragraph he was apologizing for the formality and lack of info.Though then he gave some clues...awkward sentences explaining his job and education.

I also have been warned that as much as your children want to meet him...mine do too...the first time should just be yall.This was from both adoptees and birthmothers in my IRL support group.LOL the horrid agency said the same thing though I seldom listen to it but this time they might have been correct...shock.

Bubbly54
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2012 at 5:37 PM

Congrats!!!  This is such an exciting time, and one of great emotional ups and downs!  I am so glad that he was so receptive towards you - you must be smiling from ear to ear.  Just remember to take care of yourself too, because reunion can become a bit overwhelming.  Four years for me and my son and I feel like I am just getting my footing back on solid ground.  Happy, happy for you!

DVT
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2012 at 8:14 PM

Congrats! It's awesome he wants to meet you too :)  That's the biggest hurdle that you've overcome so far. There are a ton of feelings with reunion and get ready for the ride! I've met my children over 5 years ago and it can still have it's ups and downs especially around visiting time! I've got an extra visit coming by tomorrow or Monday.  The excitement never seems to wear off ;)  Keep getting to know him by phone or email and it will happen soon the first visit in person.  Keep us posted!

Myrick4pack
by Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 4:09 AM
Wow! This is awesome & very fast! I'm so happy for you!
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1stpreggers
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 4:12 AM
Congrats!
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