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Hi ,prayers ,good wishes or dance in the moonlight please. ETA : )

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What ever you do remember me and M.A. ,he emailed he would like to talk this weekend.He said Sat was best so I said yes.First phone call ,I don't know what to say.I 'm afraid I'll cry non stop.I'm terrified I'll blow it..My teens are in a play at school 16 y.o. student director and 14y.o. second male lead.They have been chatting about that so maybe how the play went.?Tongue tied for once.I want to make a good impression and different than my emails I can't re read...my first letter in response to his there were 13 versions ,sent the original but very very very worried .

Thrilled ,very very thrilled.My daughter told me he askedsher lots of questions about me.Nothing odd or unusual just general stuff.Very happy ,this is what have been waiting for but still terrified.I don't want to blow it and lose him again.

Thank you


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

thank yall !!!!! it went very well.I took all yalls advise .I wrote down questions about him ,I drove around ,by myself ,working out the phrasing of answers to tough questions  aloud,had a couple of panic attacks ,took a mild tranq and it went great.I started with a couple of the written questions and then the conversation took off on it's own.We talked about 45 minutes when he started to sound a little dragged out so I said good bye.It was mostly light conversation about stuff going on .I asked about his parents just being polite and he told me they had found early stage 1 breast  cancer.She had her surgery a few days after we talked a nd did well and is expected to make a full recovery.He sent me an email updating me about his mom.He talked about being worried about her and his dad.

He sent me an email a couple of days later saying when his mom was up and about he wanted to talk again.He lives an hour away from his parents but I guess he was helping his dad out...he is in his 70's .I am kinda FB slow so I just friend-ed him.a couple of days ago.Late that night he set up an album titled  The History of M  in it he has the first baby picture of him ever taken ...he is 7 days old ...it fits the time frame.He includes a ton of pictures as a baby ,toddler ,child ,teen and college age including graduation pics.I alternate between smiling and laughing and sobbing.My new bfff ...my shrink...has strongly suggested I set a time limit each day for the pictures.

GREAT NEWS he emailed me asking to send him when we can talk this week from my side and then he will set up a different phone call.

Unfortunately I found on FB some slightly obscure comments from when he was first contacted by the agency.He was not happy at all.When he stopped emailing through the agency in May he was walking away.This makes me even more nervous to get things correct.

Thanks for the support and grat advice,


by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Replies (21-27):
drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Quoting Vikki77:

I think that is beautiful! I wish I had that. I haven't seen any pictures from the time I missed. Except what I have seen on the walls of my 2nd sons house. And those I just looked at, no one has shown me anything. I wish I were confident enough to ask his amom if she could show me some pictures. Maybe one day. :) But I am so very happy he is doing this for you.

Quoting drfink:



Quoting Vikki77:

I also wanted to day that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.

I realized that also.Made me cry more .Today under/beside a picture when he became an Eagle Scout he wrote some stuff.I realize he is giving me a narrative of his life when he adds commentary.Crying again.


Hugs to you Vikki ,my heart aches for you.

If he wasn't doing this on his own I would be too worried to ask though he asked for more pictures of me.I'm only in groupish ones.I know how you feel.Though because of the improved relationship maybe you could just ask ....great picture what was going on ?....that is pretty innocuous.Like vamp said her daughter was upset the g.mother didn't ask about her much.So I think light type what was going on questions would only sound interested.My son is 35 ,also belongs to a reunion group he joined after he was contacted.He only attends sporadically ,he travels with his job.I think he emails with some members...positive ones yay. and gets guidance..he mentioned being able to attend the Dec meeting and that he was asked to bring pics.

Anyway I ramble but I think light weight questions and comments about the pictures you see will bring more pictures .It will just be seen as interested in a good way.

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 1:13 PM
I don't know why I didn't think if this! Lol Thanks!

Quoting drfink:


Quoting Vikki77:

I think that is beautiful! I wish I had that. I haven't seen any pictures from the time I missed. Except what I have seen on the walls of my 2nd sons house. And those I just looked at, no one has shown me anything. I wish I were confident enough to ask his amom if she could show me some pictures. Maybe one day. :) But I am so very happy he is doing this for you.



Quoting drfink:




Quoting Vikki77:

I also wanted to day that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.

I realized that also.Made me cry more .Today under/beside a picture when he became an Eagle Scout he wrote some stuff.I realize he is giving me a narrative of his life when he adds commentary.Crying again.


Hugs to you Vikki ,my heart aches for you.

If he wasn't doing this on his own I would be too worried to ask though he asked for more pictures of me.I'm only in groupish ones.I know how you feel.Though because of the improved relationship maybe you could just ask ....great picture what was going on ?....that is pretty innocuous.Like vamp said her daughter was upset the g.mother didn't ask about her much.So I think light type what was going on questions would only sound interested.My son is 35 ,also belongs to a reunion group he joined after he was contacted.He only attends sporadically ,he travels with his job.I think he emails with some members...positive ones yay. and gets guidance..he mentioned being able to attend the Dec meeting and that he was asked to bring pics.

Anyway I ramble but I think light weight questions and comments about the pictures you see will bring more pictures .It will just be seen as interested in a good way.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Vikki77:

I don't know why I didn't think if this! Lol Thanks!

Quoting drfink:


Quoting Vikki77:

I think that is beautiful! I wish I had that. I haven't seen any pictures from the time I missed. Except what I have seen on the walls of my 2nd sons house. And those I just looked at, no one has shown me anything. I wish I were confident enough to ask his amom if she could show me some pictures. Maybe one day. :) But I am so very happy he is doing this for you.



Quoting drfink:




Quoting Vikki77:

I also wanted to day that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.

I realized that also.Made me cry more .Today under/beside a picture when he became an Eagle Scout he wrote some stuff.I realize he is giving me a narrative of his life when he adds commentary.Crying again.


Hugs to you Vikki ,my heart aches for you.

If he wasn't doing this on his own I would be too worried to ask though he asked for more pictures of me.I'm only in groupish ones.I know how you feel.Though because of the improved relationship maybe you could just ask ....great picture what was going on ?....that is pretty innocuous.Like vamp said her daughter was upset the g.mother didn't ask about her much.So I think light type what was going on questions would only sound interested.My son is 35 ,also belongs to a reunion group he joined after he was contacted.He only attends sporadically ,he travels with his job.I think he emails with some members...positive ones yay. and gets guidance..he mentioned being able to attend the Dec meeting and that he was asked to bring pics.

Anyway I ramble but I think light weight questions and comments about the pictures you see will bring more pictures .It will just be seen as interested in a good way.

LOL I know why ....cause we are afraid to do anything that might rock the boat and lose what little we have ...hugs ...I think you are in a good place with this amom.She sounds secure.

mommasbrat912
by Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 8:21 PM
2 moms liked this

I love that he did the history of M! I did something similar for my biodad when I finally met him. I'm so glad things are progressing now that the agency witch is not involved. I would say though, although obviously upsetting for you to see that he was going to walk away, don't worry too much about what you see on FB. FB is my venting place. I say a lot of things there just to get them out of my head. The thing that matters is that he didn't walk away. That even going through this difficult time with his amom he is still communicating with you. I wish for you continued success in your reunification and hope that you get to visit with him soon.

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 8:57 AM
3 moms liked this

My sons amom sent me a photo album soon after reunion, for Mothers Day! From infant to adulthood, with narration all the way through. It was an amazing gift I'll treasure forever. Your son did that for you! How awesome!

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 10:02 AM
That is so sweet. I'm glad she did that for you. :)

Quoting 2jeffsmom:

My sons amom sent me a photo album soon after reunion, for Mothers Day! From infant to adulthood, with narration all the way through. It was an amazing gift I'll treasure forever. Your son did that for you! How awesome!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
smileywoman
by New Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:30 AM

I'm so very happy that you have had a connection. Be patient and let him be in the lead with communications. It's a delicate time to get to know each other and at some point he may pull back and not communicate for awhile (that's normal).

Hugs

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