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Hi ,prayers ,good wishes or dance in the moonlight please. ETA : )

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What ever you do remember me and M.A. ,he emailed he would like to talk this weekend.He said Sat was best so I said yes.First phone call ,I don't know what to say.I 'm afraid I'll cry non stop.I'm terrified I'll blow it..My teens are in a play at school 16 y.o. student director and 14y.o. second male lead.They have been chatting about that so maybe how the play went.?Tongue tied for once.I want to make a good impression and different than my emails I can't re read...my first letter in response to his there were 13 versions ,sent the original but very very very worried .

Thrilled ,very very thrilled.My daughter told me he askedsher lots of questions about me.Nothing odd or unusual just general stuff.Very happy ,this is what have been waiting for but still terrified.I don't want to blow it and lose him again.

Thank you


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

thank yall !!!!! it went very well.I took all yalls advise .I wrote down questions about him ,I drove around ,by myself ,working out the phrasing of answers to tough questions  aloud,had a couple of panic attacks ,took a mild tranq and it went great.I started with a couple of the written questions and then the conversation took off on it's own.We talked about 45 minutes when he started to sound a little dragged out so I said good bye.It was mostly light conversation about stuff going on .I asked about his parents just being polite and he told me they had found early stage 1 breast  cancer.She had her surgery a few days after we talked a nd did well and is expected to make a full recovery.He sent me an email updating me about his mom.He talked about being worried about her and his dad.

He sent me an email a couple of days later saying when his mom was up and about he wanted to talk again.He lives an hour away from his parents but I guess he was helping his dad out...he is in his 70's .I am kinda FB slow so I just friend-ed him.a couple of days ago.Late that night he set up an album titled  The History of M  in it he has the first baby picture of him ever taken ...he is 7 days old ...it fits the time frame.He includes a ton of pictures as a baby ,toddler ,child ,teen and college age including graduation pics.I alternate between smiling and laughing and sobbing.My new bfff ...my shrink...has strongly suggested I set a time limit each day for the pictures.

GREAT NEWS he emailed me asking to send him when we can talk this week from my side and then he will set up a different phone call.

Unfortunately I found on FB some slightly obscure comments from when he was first contacted by the agency.He was not happy at all.When he stopped emailing through the agency in May he was walking away.This makes me even more nervous to get things correct.

Thanks for the support and grat advice,


by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Replies (11-20):
Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:07 AM

I am glad the call went well. And I agree with Vamp. I think it probably had something to do with the agency itself.

urbanroost
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:08 AM

 Beautiful :)  Congrats!

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:30 AM

I'm so happy for you and the start of a beautiful relationship with your son. I think it will become easier each time you talk. I'm sure he was nervous too.

DVT
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:54 PM

I'm so happy for you! What wonderful news that the call went so well.  I think things will get easier for you as it goes on.  Wow! So, when is the first visit?  Did he mention anything about it?  It's great that he wants to arrange a time to talk to you as well - that's a step forward in the right direction. 

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:03 PM
I also wanted to say that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.
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drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:13 AM


Quoting vampporcupine:

Oh, how nerve-wracking to see reference that he was walking away. You had suspected it though back then. It must have had something to do with the agency witch or...maybe he felt overwhelmed and needed to digest.

I think even more than ever the agency witch has been much more detrimental than neutral much less helpful.I know now he was really surprised by being contacted and put off by the overwhelming feelings  of what did it mean.He is most chatty with my daughter and 28 y.o. son.He has mentioned ,in different ways but several times to them how everyone has been nice ,no one seems angry at him etc.The thing is I can hear in what he was concerned about the exact words the witch used in describing her birth mother and siblings.The woman that intervened on my behalf has a bio child and is an A.P. of three.She is very pro reunion.She covered with me the good and the bad that I might find and how he may feel towards us.She never used inflammatory descriptions.I really think the witch causes more harm than good.Since being left on our own by the witch things are much more positive.I am sure he does need time and space but no good can come from the negative chatter all the time the witch provided to him.

drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:28 AM


Quoting 2jeffsmom:

I'm so happy for you and the start of a beautiful relationship with your son. I think it will become easier each time you talk. I'm sure he was nervous too.

lol one of the first things I said was I was sorry if I babbled and cried I was very nervous and he said he was nervous also.At the end when I was saying I didn't want to keep him too long he laughed and said it went pretty good.I said yup I had gotten advice from a birth mom support group like write down questions.He laughed and said it was a smart idea and he could have used a reunion support group.I don't want him to be out of sorts but it helps a bit knowing he feels nervous also.Misery loves company I guess ; )

drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting DVT:

I'm so happy for you! What wonderful news that the call went so well.  I think things will get easier for you as it goes on.  Wow! So, when is the first visit?  Did he mention anything about it?  It's great that he wants to arrange a time to talk to you as well - that's a step forward in the right direction. 

Nope ,we haven't discussed meeting.yet except when he has mentioned to my teen boys coming here this spring for a LAX tournament .Also in a discussion of Tex-Mex with my daughter he said when we got up there he would take us to THE best Tex-Mex  around.Nothing definite just chatter.After this next call and if his mom is doing good I am going to bring meeting up.

drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:56 AM


Quoting Vikki77:

I also wanted to day that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.

I realized that also.Made me cry more .Today under/beside a picture when he became an Eagle Scout he wrote some stuff.I realize he is giving me a narrative of his life when he adds commentary.Crying again.


Hugs to you Vikki ,my heart aches for you.

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2012 at 10:26 AM
I think that is beautiful! I wish I had that. I haven't seen any pictures from the time I missed. Except what I have seen on the walls of my 2nd sons house. And those I just looked at, no one has shown me anything. I wish I were confident enough to ask his amom if she could show me some pictures. Maybe one day. :) But I am so very happy he is doing this for you.

Quoting drfink:



Quoting Vikki77:

I also wanted to day that I think it's awesome that he did the History of M album. He did that just for you.

I realized that also.Made me cry more .Today under/beside a picture when he became an Eagle Scout he wrote some stuff.I realize he is giving me a narrative of his life when he adds commentary.Crying again.


Hugs to you Vikki ,my heart aches for you.

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