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Completely Heartbroken

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:18 AM
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I don't even know how this happened. Or what even made me check. But I have been trying to see Christopher the last few Fridays to talk to him. His bus never even came through to drop him off. This last Friday was my last chance before his birthday, and he wasn't there again. I also haven't seen him skating across the street. He has been grounded from facebook forever, but I like to go on his profile sometimes and look at his pictures. Well, I tried to do that today, and couldn't find it. I logged out and logged in under my 8 year olds profile and found it easily. He has blocked me from facebook. Also he has added new pictures, and someone asked him on October 24th where he went. He commented that things went differently than planned, and he would not be coming back to this city. I don't know what to do. I do realize that by him being out of that house, and online, and blocking me, then he really doesn't want anything to do with me. My heart is broken worse than it has ever been. I don't know why this is happening....

I have a question though. I do know his email address. What do you ladies think of me sending him an email on his birthday? Just to tell him that I love him and will always be here for him. I wouldn't even mention knowing anything. I am just at a loss completely. Could he have been lying to me all along? I don't see that, because the adoptive mom showed me she was crazy. But could I have just been a way out that he doesn't need any more? I have no idea what to think!!! And I can't stop crying.

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
drfink
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:43 AM
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So very sorry.Is it possible his amom got wind of his plan and has sent him away to a school ?One of my daughter's closest friend was suddenly sent to a school in a different state.He had truly fallen off track and his parents sent him away suddenly.They  were afraid if they had told him he would have bolted.We live in a big city and he could have gotten into serious trouble.His parents restricted his access to certain people,not my daughter.He did get back on track and finished high school here.I know your son didn't fall off track but the vague and obscure comments ,sudden disappearance  and specific blocks sound so much like when friend was whisked away.

Does his younger brother that you have close contact with have any acess to him?

HUGS to you.

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry! I wish I could just sit with you and give you hugs. Yes, I think an e-mail would be good. Don't be surprised if it comes back though. I'm glad your 8 year old still can communicate, and hasn't been shut out.

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Send him an email. Tell him you love him and will always be there for him. His amom may have made him block you.
I'm sorry.
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doodlebopfan
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting vampporcupine:

Send him an email. Tell him you love him and will always be there for him. His amom may have made him block you.
I'm sorry.

 This was my first thought as well. Perhaps she made him block you. My second thought is that because you have worked with his amom when he ran before, that he may think that she can get information from you. Do you know if he's still in school? Same GF?

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:42 AM

I didn't want to reply to each one of you individually so I liked the comments and hope you will all see this. I don't think it was a school. And I don't think his amom did it. After I posted this last night I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I went to twitter. We communicated there before too. He is posting about how good life is. I did send him a message there. All is said is "I love you. Hope you are doing good." As far as the friends on facebook, I don't think it was the amom, because he is also not a friend of a girl he has been friends with since 3rd grade. She is a wonderful girl and she is close to me. I will text her later. But the amom has no idea that me and this girl are connected. He still has my niece on his friends. She is not the greatest kind of friend to have and we don't really talk, so I can't ask her anything. She actually is not my niece, but my ex husbands. And she is my 8 year old sons cousin. Amom knows this and she is still on the friends list. I can only guess that my 8 year old wasn't blocked because he thought I wouldn't look for him from his profile. But he has also posted pictures of him and his girlfriend at Homecoming, so he is nearby. And no he is not in school any more. Not this one anyway. I am so confused and lost.

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:34 PM
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Unfortunately, all you can do is put your love out there to him and wait. FB is a social network for friends and truly having his mom viewing everything he does may not be where a boy his age is wanting to head. This is not about you but about where adoption has left him....confused. Continue to reach out and let him know you will always be there but don't push for answers as he may run.
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DVT
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 2:10 PM
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I'm so sorry that he did that to you! I don't understand why he would block you either.  Everything was going so well - it makes me wonder if outside forces (that you don't know of) had made him did it too.  I wish you good luck as you reach out to him.  All you can do is express the love and hope one day he replies back to it.  Let us know if you find out anything! hugs!

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 2:16 PM
I'm not going to push for answers. I'm not even going to ask questions. I did send him the message on twitter. Other than that I will leave him alone for the most part. I will send him an email on his birthdays and holidays. And to let him know if my number or address changes. I will be really available without pushing. I did text the other girl deleted from facebook and haven't gotten a reply yet. I'll keep you all updated.

Quoting vampporcupine:

Unfortunately, all you can do is put your love out there to him and wait. FB is a social network for friends and truly having his mom viewing everything he does may not be where a boy his age is wanting to head. This is not about you but about where adoption has left him....confused. Continue to reach out and let him know you will always be there but don't push for answers as he may run.
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onethentwins
by Gold Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Hugs Vikki.

Quoting Vikki77:

I'm not going to push for answers. I'm not even going to ask questions. I did send him the message on twitter. Other than that I will leave him alone for the most part. I will send him an email on his birthdays and holidays. And to let him know if my number or address changes. I will be really available without pushing. I did text the other girl deleted from facebook and haven't gotten a reply yet. I'll keep you all updated.


Vikki77
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Thank you. I will admit that it is hard not to ask him why. It's hard not to tell him I'm heartbroken. But I am going to act like he is one of my raised children. If they needed space and didn't want to talk, I would respect that. I will just continue to be here. And let him know I'm here. I think the only thing that is keeping me from asking questions is because I always do what is best for my kids. Right now apparently what is best for him is for me to give him space. Although it hurts, I do know this isn't about me and my feelings. But I am glad I have friends here that I can talk to about how it affects me. Thank you all.

Quoting onethentwins:

I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Hugs Vikki.


Quoting Vikki77:

I'm not going to push for answers. I'm not even going to ask questions. I did send him the message on twitter. Other than that I will leave him alone for the most part. I will send him an email on his birthdays and holidays. And to let him know if my number or address changes. I will be really available without pushing. I did text the other girl deleted from facebook and haven't gotten a reply yet. I'll keep you all updated.




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