See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
My placed son is 21 years old now. He is getting ready to move out of his parent's house and into an apartment with some buddies. I was hoping that our reunion could move forward once he moved out. As it stands right now, he and I chat via fb occasionally but he will wait weeks to respond to my messages IF he responds at all. I currently haven't heard from him since June 29th of this year. He talks a good game about how he wants to be a part of my life and wants to be a big brother to the son I am raising. However, he has said multiple times that he is not ready to meet me or his brother. I thought that he was moving so slowly because he still lived with his parents and felt conflicted about developing a relationship with me while still living with them. Now, I'm not so sure his living arrangements have anything to do with it. It may be more that he just doesn't care about having a relationship with me. The other day he changed his profile picture on fb to a picture of him, his mom, and his dad. He said, "These two drive me crazy sometimes, but I love them and wouldn't trade anything for them." The bold part of the sentence is what stuck a knife right through my heart. He knows how hard I fought to keep him. He knows what I had to trade for his parents to get him. To me, he is saying that he wouldn't trade the life he has had for the chance to be kept with me. I voluntarily placed him for adoption at birth. I was in high school with no money and no place to go if I kept him. His bio father abandoned me and my parents abandoned me when they found out I was pregnant. I tried desperately to figure out a way to keep him but there was just no way. If I had somehow figured out a way to keep him, he and I would have had a rough life but we would have been together. His parents both own their own businesses. He has grown up with a mom and a dad and had every material thing he has ever asked for. Don't get me wrong, I am happy about that. He was loved and adored by his whole family and he was well taken care of, which is what I wanted for him. However, it still hurts my feelings that he wouldn't trade all that for me because I would trade anything and everything I have in this world back if it meant I could go back in time and keep him.