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Update for the rest of the reunion weekend : )

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:47 PM
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 Sorry I took so long but I got sick again on the way home.Maybe a reaction to the stress but it went great !!! He came for breakfast both Sat and Sunday ,hung around ,showed us around the city he lives in,then gave us the "buck tour" of the town he grew up in about an hour away.We met his parents and went out for Tex-Mex and back for desert at their house.They were friendly and sent my teens home loaded with homemade goodies.She did something just so thoughtless I can't figure her out.It was /is clear they took 1000's of pictures of him over the year.He is an only child.They have a shelf of albums but the one she had taken out and the only one she showed me was the one of the formal steps of adoption.Meeting with SW to take him home ,signing papers ,the adoption itself with the judge .It is odd because I guess if she was going to show me pictures it would be of scouts ,baseball, hunts ,bday parties and if it was about the adoption the welcome party with all the family not the process of me ending being his mother and her becoming his mom.It was amazingly painful.It does hurt a bit when I look at the FB album he made for me but it also makes me smile to see him doing his kid stuff.This was just painful.I glued my smile on ,my daughter could tell so she would try to change the topic but she was determined to tell me each step as he became theirs.

After that we went back to the hotel around 9.He came up and all 5 played Risk and another game before he went home.Sun we went to see a known touristy attraction ,lunch for a couple hours then to B.N. coffee shop for another hour.There he apologized again for not searching harder apologized for going so slow once contact was made and we trashed the agency for lying to both of us for 17 years.I assured him that by simply contacting the agency 17 years ago he had fulfilled everything I had wanted him to do towards reunion.

Then YAY YAY YAY he says that when his youngest cousin graduated from college in May he thought he was done with attending graduations but now between his brothers and sister he has at least 2 more h.s. graduation and 3 more college graduations to sleep through. : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

He is a landman and does some prof tech writing on the side.He is a frustrated author so yesterday in FB notes he writes the story of the path and our meeting.He ends it by saying he is one of the lucky adoptees to be a member of both his families.As of a few minute ago 37 comments and only one negative one.Most are along the lines of how lucky he is to be a part of two loving families .

I am so happy I truly never thought I would ever have any knowledge ever.Then somehow the loss hits and all I want to do is cry.Then happy again then...

Anyway thank you all .For the support ,the knowledge ,the insight ,the safe vent place and with out this group I would have never met the woman that intervened with the agency and stopped 17 years of lies.

THANK YOU and love yall.












by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 10:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:08 AM
I'm so happy for you, Drfink.

What a spectacular way to end the year and a grand way to start the new year!
This year will be full of wonderful memories for you all<3
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by Silver Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:27 AM
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I was hoping for an update! In the defense of the adoptress, many think we willingly abandoned our babies and happily skipped away. She probably has no clue.
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by Silver Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 6:00 AM
I am so glad that it is going so well. It sounds wonderful! I'm so happy for all of you!
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by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:07 AM

Such a beautiful account of your reunion! I'm very happy for you.

by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:24 AM

I agree with Vamp about the "adoptress"  having no clue ... Ignorance is bliss , to her it was a wonderful memory and has never once given the thought that perhaps its not so much for you .... people are just aholes through and through .....  On another note, I'm so so happy for you and for him ...  What a fantastic start to the new year :) Congratulations. 

by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:27 PM

I think it's more likely that his adoptive mother is feeling very threatened and wanted to make sure you remembered what happened and stake her claim on him. I don't think she was trying to me malicious, she's just scared. 

The loss leaking in with the happiness is normal, and is likely to get worse in afraid.  We will be here for you then too. 

by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:39 PM
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I am so happy for all of you. I second what OTT said completely. Can't wait to get the play by play in person and give you a real live hug!!
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by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:41 PM

I'm so happy that your reunion is going well!!!

by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:11 AM

 I'm thrilled that things went so well and glad that you were able to endure the pain that she caused. I'm still going with senility, LOL! But it sounds like his reaction far outweighed any shadow that she tried to cast. So glad your other kids were there to support you. :) x0x0x0x

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:55 PM

Congrats!!! I'm so very happy for you, drfink!

I too agree that she was probably staking her claim by not showing you the albums that would've made more sense to show. Who the else thinks it's a good idea to take a bmom down the kind of memory lane a bmom precisely wouldn't want to go down. I don't believe she is clueless and think she knew exactly what she was doing. Sorry, but it's just too obvious to have been a duh moment. 

What a Christmas present that must've been! He seems like a good "kid" and I wish you the rest of your life with him in it. 

Thanks for making us smile!  :) 

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