A great article!
"Coercion of any kind negates choice, informed or otherwise."
just even a hint of coercion exists, there can never be true choice.
You can try to wrap it up in a pretty bow, sprinkle some sugar on it to
make it sweeter, but it will never change the fact that the moment
coercion enters the equation, in any way, choice leaves it.
So when it comes to
Domestic Infant Adoption, how can there be choice, when the adoption
counseling offered to pregnant women was created for the sole purpose of
coercing them into giving up their babies?
According to the NCFA’s
own facts, in 1951 there were about 34,000 Infant Adoptions. By 1971
the numbers had peaked to almost 90,000. This was during the time of the
Baby Scoop Era or Era of Mass Surrender. These were the decades where
there truly was no choice for single, young women who were pregnant.
Abortion was illegal. There were no laws in place to protect them from
being fired for no other reason than they were pregnant. And society’s
views on single parenting were harsh.
And yet, just four years
after infant adoption had reached its peak, the numbers dropped
drastically to less than 48,000 by 1975. That change can be directly
related to the fact that women were gaining more control and rights over
themselves and their bodies. Abortions were legalized. Birth control
was becoming more accessible and protections were starting to fall into
place so women could not be discriminated against for merely being
In normal reality, these
should have been seen as positive changes. The drastic drop in the
number of children separated from their families should have been
something to celebrate. It was a clear sign that things were beginning
to change for women and their rights. That there was a slow growth of
opportunity for women to be able to prevent pregnancy or keep and raise
their children without being condemned or punished for doing so.
But, in the twisted
logic of those who gain (by profit or child) through adoption, such
changes were viewed as a threat because as women gained more power, the
industry lost theirs. They could no longer commit their crimes from the
past to meet the growing demand from couples willing to pay for a baby.
Desperate to fight back
against the increase in women’s rights and protections, the NCFA was
created in 1980. Though they claim otherwise, its goal has never been
to find families for children in need but to instead find new tactics to
separate infants from the families they already have. As they state in
their own historic facts . . .
-- In the 1980s,
as the number of women opting for an adoption plan decreased, there also
was a sharp increase in the number of families wishing to adopt
children. Adoption agencies began to maintain long waiting lists as the
number of potential adoptive families far surpassed the availability of
Though they are labeled a
non-profit, the NCFA is a very rich and powerful organization.
Supported mainly by adoption agencies, adoption lawyers and adoptive
parents, they have worked hard, since their creation in 1980, to reclaim
the power they once had over women and their unborn children so they
can again meet the demand of couples wanting to adopt a baby.
Over the last three
decades, their research on how to best convince a woman to give up her
baby has been extensive. And through the high-paid lobbyists they send
to Washington, they have not only been able to continue to create laws
that take away the protections that women have fought so hard for and
make it easier to separate a mother from her child. But to also have our
own government support – and pay with from our tax-dollars – a program
called Infant Adoption Awareness Training, which is the accepted and
practiced adoption counseling for not just adoption agency employees but
also school nurses, high school and college counselors, crisis
pregnancy center employees, social workers and many in the medical field
as well as religious organizations. It is the training followed by
anyone who might come into contact with pregnant women.
The NCFA has recently
made the main portion of their program more accessible by providing it
online. Anyone with a verifiable email address can go to this site and take the two to three hour course on how to counsel pregnant women about adoption.
As the NCFA states, this training is meant to “provide adoption information and referrals to pregnant women on an EQUAL basis” and that their mission is to “educate about adoption to overcome the potential BARRIERS to considering adoption so clients can make a FULLY-INFORMED CHOICE.”
So the basis of their
training is to teach those who come into contact with pregnant women how
to counsel them to “overcome” the reasons (barriers) why they want to
keep and raise their child instead of giving them up for adoption and
make sure they believe that, by being counseled in such a way, they are
making a fully-informed choice.
And the truth of that
begins in the very beginning of the introduction for their training.
Within minutes of a video from Chuck Johnson, CEO for the NCFA, he
states that years of research and anecdotal information show that
adoption is a good social institution with positive outcomes for Birth
Mothers, Birth Fathers, Birth Families, individuals who were adopted
and, of course, adopted families. And even though he mentions FULLY-INFORMED CHOICE,
he says nothing further about the research and studies that have shown
that many women who have lost their children to adoption suffer from
PTSD and/or depression. That many fathers have or are currently
fighting for their children because the laws for adoption do not protect
them and their rights. That there are many who have studied and
documented the pain and loss that is involved when a child is taken from
their family or that those very children, by the mere act of adoption,
will be denied their equal rights and discriminated against for no other
reason than they are adopted.
It’s important to remember, as this is just the very start of the course, that this is the ONLY
training for those who will be trusted by pregnant mothers to help them
decide what is best for them and their babies. These are the tools
they are being given to counsel their clients, to be the support they
are seeking in the midst of what is so often a crisis situation.
The evidence of the
effects of this training are made very clear in another video from the
introduction. It is one of the few that is made public and can be
viewed by clicking here and choosing the birthparents link at the top of the window.
Her name is Alecia, she
is a First Mom who tells her story about when she first found out she
was pregnant. Through a crisis pregnancy center, she received weekly
counseling and she shared later in the video her thoughts about giving
her baby up for adoption . . .
--“I was going to
single parent because that’s what I needed to do for my child. My
counselor brought up the thought of adoption, which, to me, was far
off. I was very not open to that option . . . I wanted to take care of
what I did. I wanted to be responsible for it and if I placed my child
for adoption how selfish would that be of me. For me to give my child
to someone else . . . because of what I did, that wouldn’t be
For this mother, that
should have been it. Adoption was mentioned, she was VERY NOT OPEN to
it, and she wanted to “be responsible” and keep and parent her child.
Long before adoption was even brought into the conversation, she should
have been given resources and support that would have helped her keep
her baby and empowered her to be the best mom possible. But instead,
not only was she denied that from the start, but it continued to be
denied from her while she received this instead . . .
--“I went through
another workbook actually on adoption. And when we continued just to
look at the pros and the cons of single parenting and adoption, and when
I realized I couldn’t give my child any of these things that I longed
for then it just sort of, was like . . . the click in the head . . . if I
want my child to have what I long for him to have, I’m going to place
him for adoption.”--
This training has
nothing to do with helping pregnant women and their unborn child. It is
about, plain and simple, teaching the well-researched tactics and
tricks that coerce women into giving up their baby by encouraging them
to view themselves as being unfit or unable to raise their own child
while presenting adoption as such a wonderful option that only a
uncaring, unloving mother would deny her son or daughter such a perfect
The workbook and the
pros and cons Alecia’s counselor had her go through even after she had
stated she didn’t want to give up her baby are tools used to reinforce
to a pregnant mother that she will never be as good as adoptive parents
for her child. Here is an example of one that is used most widely in
their counseling – Adoption Worksheet.
Its purpose is to force a mother to feel as if what she has to offer
her child is not nearly enough compared to what adoptive parents can
And this one – If Parents Were Hired, Would You Apply
– provided as a part of the training course, is meant to overwhelm a
mother with a long terrifying list of exaggerated responsibilities that
would make any new mom worry about her abilities.
In their training, they suggest if the counselor receives RESISTANCE in a women being willing to give her baby up for adoption, they should offer this possibility . . .
-- Sometimes in a
situation like this you can feel as if there is no solution, no way out,
no way to recover your deepest hopes and dreams. I believe there are
possible solutions to this that we haven’t talked about yet. But tell
me. It is hard for me to help you make the best decision possible when
we haven’t talked about what the best decisions might be. --
And there explanation for why this possibility should be offered . . .
-- The point of
this beginning is that we DO NOT ENABLE a client to be SELF-DETERMINING
until she has the fundamental knowledge, skill and LACK OF RESISTANCE to
her own beliefs. Otherwise, she is at RISK of deciding in ignorance,
acting without experience and DECIDING WHILE SELF-DECIEVED.--
So, just like in Alecia’s case - who was RESISTANT to
giving up her baby - they don’t want to enable the pregnant woman to
make the “self-determining” choice of keeping and raising her child
until they have beaten her down so she doesn’t believe in “ignorance”
while “self-decieved” that she can be a good mother to her child and
provide them with everything they need. Instead, after they have
brought her to a “lack of resistance” by showing her how she will fail
if she keeps her child, they want to make sure she is brought back up by
the “fundamental knowledge” of how wonderful adoption will be for her
child and how it will provide him or her everything she cannot.
As they claim in their training materials . . .
-- In a certain
sense, adoptive parents make a new beginning possible for everyone in
the situation. The child is given his or her needed parents; the young
woman is given a fresh start; the adoptive parents are given a child to
care for. --
This teaching as well as
how to handle those “pesky” fathers who don’t recognize the best
interests of the child or the young woman or the annoying parents who
feel so GUILTY AT NOT TEACHING OR PROTECTING THEIR DAUGHTER BETTER from being at risk they are “prompted” to step forward and raise the grandchild, can be found here . . .
Everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING,
in this course designed to “train” those in trusted roles to counsel a
pregnant woman, is carefully scripted and molded to make parenting a
failure and adoption a miracle.
In a case study they use
as a training tool - which of course they go to the very extreme in the
“circumstances” - you hear the story of Ashley who is a pregnant
teenager and is “adamantly against adoption” and wants to parent her
child. Who tells her counselor, “My mother raised me as a single parent
and I can do it too.”
But instead of helping
her find the resources and support to raise her child, this is part of
the video response of how to force Ashley past the “barrier” that is
preventing her from giving her baby up for adoption . . .
--“Ashley . . .
feels she is really ready to be a parent. She is VERY UNREALISTIC in
her expectations of that role. Her mother is unsupportive, her
grandmother is unsupportive, and the birthfather is completely
uninterested. But Ashley does think this is what she wants to do. She
thinks it’s the best plan. One idea in working with Ashley is to have
her make a job description for a parent. Have her write down what she
believes is the job of a good parent. Then have her explain where she
is going to live, how she’s going to live and who she is going to live
None of this is to help
and support Ashley. To get her enrolled in parenting classes so she can
better know about the responsibilities of being a parent and have the
tools to empower her to be the best she can for her child. To help her
find a safe place to live if she is unable to stay with her mother after
the baby is born and support she may gain from others outside her
mother and grandmother.
No. This is training so
counselors learn how to overcome the barriers – such as Ashley’s story
which they refer to as Parenting Bliss – that prevent women from giving
up their babies. The purpose of having Ashley fill out a worksheet like
the earlier one I linked to - If Parents Were Hired, Would You Apply
– and to quiz her about where she is going to live, is to make sure she
“sees” that she in incapable, too immature and unprepared to be a
Not only does this
course teach how to use such coercive tactics, it also stresses the
importance of using the “accurate” language when coercing a pregnant
woman about adoption. As is provided in another video from a counselor .
powerful. It impacts whatever topic we are talking about in a positive
or negative way and adoption is certainly no different . . . there is a
lot of power in language and we need to pay attention to how we speak.”--
Though many have already seen it, here
is the resource they provide in the course for what is “accurate”
adoption language. And if you notice, they no longer call it positive
adoption language because as they say . . .
--“There has been a
lot of emphasis in the adoption field about positive adoption language.
There is nothing wrong with using positive words; however, the problem
with discussing "positive adoption language" implies right away that
there is something negative about adoption and that it needs dressing up
in order to make it more palatable.”--
There is so much in this
course, so many different methods and tactics to convince a pregnant
woman to give up her baby. So much one-sided information. So many lies
and “quoted” studies that fail to mention how they are taken out of
context or are inaccurate results because the adoptive parents were the
ones answering for adoptees.
Though the majority of
this course is non-accessible unless you sign up for the training (which
if you are a First Mom – please be aware that it can be extremely
painful to go through. It is, in many ways, like reliving the
experience all over again) some of their material and resources can be
found here . . .
It is very clear that
their goal is not only to coerce pregnant women into giving up their
babies but to also create the accepted belief that separating a mother
and her child for adoption is the solution to all the “dire” problems of
single and teenage pregnancy. There is ABSOLUTELY NO MENTION though
of the effects on a child who has been separated from their mother,
taken from their family, their heritage, their culture.
There is nothing, not a
single thing mentioned about the damage adoption has caused so many
adoptees. No word of anything that does not support these few claims
(of many) they make . . .
-- While feelings
of emotional attachment were high for ALL adoptive families regardless
of the time of placement, the younger the child was at placement, the
higher the feelings of attachment.--
adopted transracially showed no differences in terms of identity
formation and selfesteem, attachment to parents, or psychological health.--
-- Adoption brings
entitlement to be a parent and with it lifelong commitment. Therefore,
children who are adopted have the same security as children raised by
both of their biological parents.--
The NCFA and the
adoption industry exist and thrive on their own carefully-created lies.
They claim they only want to provide adoption on an EQUAL basis and help women make a FULLY-INFORMED CHOICE,
but what they really hope to accomplish is to separate more infants
from the families they have so they can be given away to complete
another’s desire for a family. They want anyone who might come in
contact with a pregnant women to be armed with the most effective tools
to coerce a woman into believing she won’t be a good parent to her child
and the only solution is to give her baby up for adoption.
Their ultimate goal – to
take babies from mothers and give them to those willing to pay – has
never changed, they were simply forced to find new ways. To research
and learn the best tactics to coerce a pregnant woman into giving up her
baby while leading her to believe she made a “choice.”
No longer able to commit
their past crimes against women, they have worked hard to insure
society views adoption as a “loving option” that also provides a “gift”
to a worthy couple instead of demanding justice for the horrors they
carried out for decades. Instead of seeing how they have again found a
way to remove power from women, stripping away their rights and leaving
them unprotected against the crimes and violations that society has, for
so long, refused to acknowledge.
on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:40 AM