My son is 5 1/2 years old... my parents adopted him and I have had a pretty big part in his life. When he was around 3 years old resentment set in and I couldn't stand to be around him. I literaly HATED him.. and he hated me right back. I was never directly rude or mean to him.. but I did stop playing with him and I stopped coming around and he noticed. He hated being in the same room as me and would never let me come near him.. it was torture.
When he was 4, I moved to another state and communication has gone from every weekend to twice a year. I'm ok with it... at least I think.
You all probably think I'm some wench.. how could I feel this way? I'm sure not all of you can relate but I'm hoping someone else can..
Is this normal? Is it normal to wish he didn't exist? Is it crazy to think that everything I went through almost 6 years ago all seems like it happened to someone else and not me?
Believe it or not I didn't use to be like this. When he was 6 months old i was diagnosed with PTSD and it took two years of healing for me to get out of that horrible, awful depression of the tremendous loss I went through.
Oh, the love I had for him.. it was absolutely incredible. I believe the power behind that love could move mountains. I haven't felt that in two years.
What's wrong with me?