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Trying to hold on....

To live.

They say this is 100% normal for mourning but its a daily struggle that these feelings aren't always lingering around.

http://youtu.be/qZeZLyL2BQs

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Replies (11-12):
drfink
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:49 PM

 

Quoting CrystalDawn2506:

The counselor is doing awesome with telling me these feelings are normal we are working them all out. Its my various family members who doesn't understand why am I so upset again like its not a big deal.

Quoting drfink:

 

Quoting CrystalDawn2506:

Also I keep hearing stories from what it seems like everywhere that adpotee's rarely seek out their birth parents. That there is no desire to find them. So now I could be facing that which I was hoping to avoid since aparents told me that they wanted DD and myself to be in his life.

I don't want to give you false hope but my son did want to meet.At 18 he contacted the agency ...they lied to him for 17 more years...but he did want to meet.When we finally did get contact he was a bit slow to warm up to the idea because he had to adjust to the idea I hadn't wanted contact according to the agency.He did warm up though.I belong to a birthmom ,adoptee and aparent group...few aparents... but the lengths some of the adoptees have gone through to find their birth parents is awe inspiring and very clever.

I think you need to find a therapist to talk to ,not to "get over " or "move on "but to help you learn coping skills and help with your understandable depression.

Take care of your self.


 yes I understand about family members ,my mom locked me in the religious agency home ,she has brought up her anger at me for embarrassing her for 36 years.I received my first email from my son on April 15 ,met and saw him for the first time Dec 28 and I have not told my mother yet.Discuss the family issues with your therapist ,maybe yall can work figure out a way  to help them to understand or learn to set up boundaries like I have.I really hope your family can learn to understand and have compassion for you.So sorry ,it's hard enough without family being painful also.

CrystalDawn2506
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:16 AM

Tell me about it and thanks for the idea of talking with my counselor on ways to deal with this. Its painful enough but I do not need a band aid ripped off yet I need this wound to heal.

Quoting drfink:

 

Quoting CrystalDawn2506:

The counselor is doing awesome with telling me these feelings are normal we are working them all out. Its my various family members who doesn't understand why am I so upset again like its not a big deal.

Quoting drfink:

 

Quoting CrystalDawn2506:

Also I keep hearing stories from what it seems like everywhere that adpotee's rarely seek out their birth parents. That there is no desire to find them. So now I could be facing that which I was hoping to avoid since aparents told me that they wanted DD and myself to be in his life.

I don't want to give you false hope but my son did want to meet.At 18 he contacted the agency ...they lied to him for 17 more years...but he did want to meet.When we finally did get contact he was a bit slow to warm up to the idea because he had to adjust to the idea I hadn't wanted contact according to the agency.He did warm up though.I belong to a birthmom ,adoptee and aparent group...few aparents... but the lengths some of the adoptees have gone through to find their birth parents is awe inspiring and very clever.

I think you need to find a therapist to talk to ,not to "get over " or "move on "but to help you learn coping skills and help with your understandable depression.

Take care of your self.


 yes I understand about family members ,my mom locked me in the religious agency home ,she has brought up her anger at me for embarrassing her for 36 years.I received my first email from my son on April 15 ,met and saw him for the first time Dec 28 and I have not told my mother yet.Discuss the family issues with your therapist ,maybe yall can work figure out a way  to help them to understand or learn to set up boundaries like I have.I really hope your family can learn to understand and have compassion for you.So sorry ,it's hard enough without family being painful also.


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