I'm sharing this blog post by Claudia. I'll copy part of it here but due to the limit on cfm for length, you'll have to read the rest by using the link. http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/birthmothers-cake-what-people-really-think-about-the-act-of-selfless-love-called-adoption-2/
Quotes & Musings
Birthmother’s Cake: What People Really Think About the Act of Selfless Love Called Adoption
December 14, 2012 / Claudia Corrigan DArcy / 28 comments
“You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat it Too”
Once again the public has shown what people really think about birthmothers. Oh, let’s forget for one second the false sense of grandeur that the adoption industry likes to project. Let’s forget about all the claims of “creating a family” and ” choosing life”. Let’s erase calls of “selfless, strong decisions” and “knowing what’s best for your baby”. Away from the adoption community where adoptive parents thank God for blessing them with the birthmothers of their children and away from the proud birthmothers who still find comfort in “meant to be”. The reality is that people hate birthmothers.
Oh, I mean hate. I mean viciously, judgmentally, without a shred of compassion, armed with cruelty, malice, and downright ignorance; the general public really despises birthmothers who place their children for adoption. The hatred for the relinquishing mother is only to be topped by the venom spit on the audacity of the birthmother who “chooses an open adoption” and expects that promise of ongoing contact to be kept.
“OPEN Adoption really….the natural mother wants her cake and eat it too… I will give you my child so I can finish school…have a life….while you take care of her…spend money on her for clothes and food schooling…etc……stay up all night when she is sick….take her to the doctors…AND LOVE HER…and then she can come visit and bring her a lil present…and go off and live her life with no cares in the world to make her life easier.”
“she can’t have it both ways… she can’t have her cake and eat it too…she speaks like she’s still the mother… if I adopted a child I wouldn’t want the birth mother all involved either..no pictures…. nothing what so ever.”
How Can Birthmothers Have it Both Ways?
“Someone should have explained that you can’t have it both ways. When we play, we have to pay… one way or another, payday comes in many ways. Grief and loss, sorrow and despair.”
“Let them go or grow up and keep the child, but you cannot have it both ways. … After all you gave them up.”
“She should have not had sex or should have better protected herself to begin with if she was not ready for a baby. also she gave the baby up for adoption yet still expected to have a relationship & pictures. sorry but you cannot have it both ways.”
on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:53 PM