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Need help with depression about losing an adoption fight with family?

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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Ok so please do not judge.. I had four kids taken away from me because I was young and wasn't able at that time fully take care of them and my Dads' family had better lawyers than me so they won the adoption case. But the family that has adopted them has been asses excuse my language and has told me to NEVER think about getting them back, talking to them, or see them again. I haven't seen them since April of 2008 and they are acting like this towards my parents as well so they can't even see or talk to them. 


What can I do? Please do not put anything judgemental. I just need someone to help me through this time. FYI: It will never get better, I know that, but just need someone to talk to about this. 


Thanks!

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Do you have an open agreement in writing? How old were the kids when they were taken? Was cps involved?
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tiffanydearing
by New Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:34 AM
*hugs* wish I had advice, going through the exact same thing. Just be strong!!
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 1:28 AM
I'm so sorry.
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asmcc8780
by New Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:11 AM

They never gave me a chance to do anything they basically threw the papers at me and told me to sign or if I didn't they were going to make sure every child I had would be taken away. Yes CPS was involved because they were trying to adopt them and me and my parents tried to stop them, so they made up lies about me, the worse lies u could think of and of course the judge went for them and gave them my kids. They were 5, 4, 2, and 4 months old. 

And thanks I am trying to be but every since this has happened it has ripped my heart out cause I know that I will never get to see them unless I do something illegal. So basically the only way I will be able to ever see or talk to them is if they come find me and decide to come with me :(  

irishgal63
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

      I 'm  praying   for  you  &  your  kids  to  be  reunited   SOONER, rather  than  later  !   :-)

 

                                                                                                     Patrick 's   b-mom,

                                                                                                                          Lori   L.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:39 PM

I don't believe there's anything you can do legally. No judgement here and sorry for your losses. The only hope I can give you is that once they are 18 there's no way they can stop you from having a relationship with them. 

asmcc8780
by New Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:38 PM

Thanks everyone! I haven't been able to find anyone to talk to about this, well not anyone that actually knows what I am talking about that doesn't try to make it about themselves like my family.

krystaldawn_21
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:48 PM

If you need someone to talk to you can PM me. I went through something similar as far as CPS goes but I also did choose adoption for my kids and they are with a great family. It is hard to handle I do know believe me but you can and will make it through this long journey. I am still going through mine as far as grieving and I believe I will never be whole again till my children are back in my arms. I'm sure you feel the same.

ZakkarysMom
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:02 PM
That is the same thing I was told when my son was in foster care. CPS wanted to terminate my rights. They said if my rights were involuntarily terminated that any other child I had would be taken away. Not sure if that is true. I was afraid it was true so I voluntarily terminated my rights. And after an adoption the adoptive parents can keep you out of their lives. There isnt anything you can do. Im sorry. I havent seen my son in 6 yrs.


Quoting asmcc8780:

They never gave me a chance to do anything they basically threw the papers at me and told me to sign or if I didn't they were going to make sure every child I had would be taken away. Yes CPS was involved because they were trying to adopt them and me and my parents tried to stop them, so they made up lies about me, the worse lies u could think of and of course the judge went for them and gave them my kids. They were 5, 4, 2, and 4 months old. 

And thanks I am trying to be but every since this has happened it has ripped my heart out cause I know that I will never get to see them unless I do something illegal. So basically the only way I will be able to ever see or talk to them is if they come find me and decide to come with me :(  


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snowwillow
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 2:55 PM

There isn't anything you can do since when they were adopted you lost your legal rights to the kids. It's too bad the adoptive parents are doing this. Of course we don't know the whole story.

You are going to have to wait until they are 18, it's a sad situation. Does it get better, no, does it get different and easier to cope, yes I believe it does. Is reunion a cure all, no it is not. Gets some counseling. It really helped me.

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