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My wandering mind

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:18 AM
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I don't have anywhere else that i could say this and not just get the typical sympathetic, " he's in a better place" bullshit, or the everyday I'm sorry statement, so I come here because no one really has to say anything to know or understand how I'm feeling or thinking.

I was nursing (or at least trying, he can't grasp the whole latching on thing:-/) Eli , and my thoughts wandering to Darian.
I wonder if Darian had the whole skin to skin experience or nursing from me , if he would of been stronger.
I've heard skin to skin does a lot for baby.
I go back and look at Darians pics and notice how sick he looks. His eyes just says to me, he isn't well.
But oh how I miss him and think of him every single day.

It made me tear up.
Then I see Eli and , amazes me how well he is and healthy.
I'm thankful to have him.
It just dawned on me that Eli is 19 days old today.

Such a significant age to me.
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:16 AM
Oh sweetie, I had a feeling that certain things would bring back memories of Darian. Especially since Eli was a boy. We can all go think back to the what ifs but it does none of us any good. We can't go back and change what happened.

As far as latching on, had you had difficulty with you other children? Do you have a public nurse you can go to for assistance with him?
My first raised daughter had a hard time with latching too for the first few weeks. She finally got it down but ended up jaundiced because she wasn't getting enough. Second raised daughter, had no issues. I think it was me that there was a problem with. I couldn't get the right angle going.
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onethentwins
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:51 PM

hugs, hugs, hugs.

drfink
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:17 PM

 Bless your heart .Hugs to you.

My youngest had a latching on problem.The lactation specialist from the hospital was a great help .It took a couple of weeks but she was a tremendous help.Is there a lactation specialist at your hospital.?

purplelibra0006
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:03 PM
I've been using a nipple shield (bf calls it my riot shield, cuz Eli, fights and fusses , fists in the air, makes me laugh) and he tends to get a good grasp, then I try to take it off and then all hell breaks loose and Eli hates it and won't latch properly. It's frustrating.
When I was in the hospital the lactation specialist helped me and Eli was doing just fine.
It's prolly me:-/
Like you said Vamp....
I can't get the right angle and feels awkward.
My ass falls asleep and stays numb for hours.
It's frustrating.
But such is life of motherhood.

And thank you,ladies:-)
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drfink
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:34 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting purplelibra0006:




My ass falls asleep and stays numb for hours.


 the little secrets of motherhood never shared ...LOL

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 6:45 PM

 LMAO!!!  You're too cute!

Quoting drfink:

 

Quoting purplelibra0006:




My ass falls asleep and stays numb for hours.


 the little secrets of motherhood never shared ...LOL

 

purplelibra0006
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Lol.... Thank you thank you.
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Haha we should write a book of all the things books don't tell you about motherhood!!! My ass cheeks fell asleep at a painting studio the other night where Sutton was nursing in her sling. I had to stand and count to 10 before attempting a crippled step!
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:16 PM
Btw...dates, numbers, they sneak up on me too. I totally get it. I was thinking the other day about you and I and our losses. It's profound and it's a journey. But you are never alone.
As for nursing... I so wish I was closer! It's not been sunshine and roses but w sutton being my 6th nursling, I've so got this area down lol. I wish I could help you. I could make you a video of some techniques that have worked for me if you think it would help and you're ok w seeing my nasty saggy lifeless tits and ugly nips? lol
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:17 PM
Lifeless, but still life-sustaining!!
Btw...I remember months ago you were on the fence over nursing and I think you are absolutely fantastic! It's not easy but it's so rewarding and there is nothing Eli needs more than you, your milk, your skin, your touch and your love.
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