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THIS OR THAT?

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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TGIF Ladies!  Its been alittle quiet in here lately.  I have seen other groups play a game called this or that.  For anyone who has not seen it one person posts a this or that question

example: poster#1 Asks apples or oranges

 poster#2 Answers and starts a new question

            next poster answers the previous question and then starts a new one and so on and so forth.

Lets start one but keep the questions adoption relatedish

examples.....Is your adoption OPEN or CLOSED

       Do you have a BOY or GIRL

       Looking back on your decision to place would do        REDO it or DO IT DIFFERENTLY

by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Cedartrees4
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Answers:
- It was closed. 
- I had a boy.
- It was NOT "my decision."   It was an abduction.

New question:  If you had a closed adoption, would you have preferred open?  For those with open adoptions, would you have preferred closed?

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:28 PM
Answer
I had both an open and closed adoption. I was supposed to have an open adoption but her adopters closed it after her first birthday. I would have prefered to have had my adoption remain open so that my daughter was not traumatized by me finding her.

New question:
Did you have real support to keep your surrendered child? If so, what were your reasons for surrender?


Quoting Cedartrees4:

Answers:
- It was closed. 
- I had a boy.
- It was NOT "my decision."   It was an abduction.

New question:  If you had a closed adoption, would you have preferred open?  For those with open adoptions, would you have preferred closed?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
megan91
by Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 2:28 AM
I had only the support of my fiance but my family nor his family could help us. we chose adoption because it was our last option. we tried everything! The option beside adoption was be homeless with two children and get them both taken away. i would have litterally killed myself if i had to go through getting them taken away because of the lack of support from my family. i had no friends and no family besides my son and fiance. we have been loners through out our whole relationship. :-)

Question: are you still with the father of your child that you placed or not? *optional question* if you aren't together, why not?
Fab74
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:28 AM

I was his rebound girl from his wife cheating on him and leaving him for the new guy. I found out I was pregnant 3 months after he dumped me and I realized I had only been there to make him feel better about himself. I only told him of his daughter after she had been adopted. He never attempted to maintain contact nor did he ever ask about her. I found him in FB a couple of years ago where he has pictures of his new wife and their two kids. I wonder if he ever thinks of daughter, if his wife knows of her. Probably not. 

Reunion is a double-edge sword for many. If you had known what you now know, would you have opted out of reuniting as some do? Why or why not.

birthmama2009
by New Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:51 PM

i have an open adoption with my son so reunions are not really an option when i see him at least once a week.

Do you ever wish you had chosen to keep your baby? 


Quoting Fab74:

I was his rebound girl from his wife cheating on him and leaving him for the new guy. I found out I was pregnant 3 months after he dumped me and I realized I had only been there to make him feel better about himself. I only told him of his daughter after she had been adopted. He never attempted to maintain contact nor did he ever ask about her. I found him in FB a couple of years ago where he has pictures of his new wife and their two kids. I wonder if he ever thinks of daughter, if his wife knows of her. Probably not. 

Reunion is a double-edge sword for many. If you had known what you now know, would you have opted out of reuniting as some do? Why or why not.


 

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:33 PM

 

Quoting birthmama2009:

i have an open adoption with my son so reunions are not really an option when i see him at least once a week.

Do you ever wish you had chosen to keep your baby? 

Answer:

Adoption was hardly an option, it was the only "option" presented. One option = no choice. I'll revise and answer. Do I wish that I was allowed or given the option/opportunity to keep my baby? Of course. I loved and wanted her so very much and still do.

Next question:

How old were you when you gave birth to your surrendered son/daughter?

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