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Weird for me

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:45 AM
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I went to Jeremy's house to visit for a bit. I have been there several times, but this time I saw a framed saying that I've never seen before. I'm sure you have all seen the saying "Home is where the heart is." I've heard that one all my life. But in her wall she has one that says "Home is where your story begins." I am sure she means it as all of her kids home is there with her even after they're grown. But I took it differently. Jeremy's story began with me. I am his home. in my mind and heart. I wonder if she or Jeremy has ever thought that when they glance at that saying? How would you take it? I'll never bring it up to them, but I liked it.
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by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:45 AM
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vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:06 AM
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I would have taken it the same as you. I think many adopters feel that the adopted child's story began with them when it actually started with their natural family.
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Vikki77
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:15 AM
I don't see how they could feel that way with any child. No matter if it was at birth or 5 years old. There is a story before the adoption. :( A lot of adopters get on my nerves.

Quoting vampporcupine:

I would have taken it the same as you. I think many adopters feel that the adopted child's story began with them when it actually started with their natural family.

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Ms.KitKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 4:50 PM
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 You can not guess what she (the amom) thinks or believes without asking her first. I would not think the negative first.

I am not a mom who placed- as I think you know, my connection to adoption is different. I took the saying "Home is where your story begins" same as you- The child's story begins at the beginning- with their first mother. 

Why couldn't you say to her,-oh- I like that saying. And leave it at that. You might have found out the reason why it';s hanging on her wall. And you might have found out it's the same reason we all think.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:32 PM
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I imagine it's an attempt to make Jeremy know that she considers him her own/real child and that he's not just temporary. Nothing wrong with adoptive parents making sure that their kids know that their adoptive family is not their permanent family and they are fully fledged members of the family.  You know how hurtful it is to adoptees when members of their adoptive family treat them as "less than".

I totally see where you would take umbrage with the saying, and if there ever comes a time later in your relationship were you tell him "you know, your story started with me not your adoptive home", I think that would be a good thing for an adoptee to hear too. 

drfink
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:09 PM
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I would feel exactly like you Vikki but I also can see what OTT is saying.I guess it depends on what is in the mind of the particular A.P. Sadly I do think most do feel like vamp describes.

You know there is a woman in my bible study of about 150 women.She has 2 bio and 1 DIA .She doesn't know anything about me .She talks about a.p.'s rights ,blah ,blah being active ,asks for prayers about legislation ...she is THE parent but yet when describing her children she says she has three xxx and xxx and her ADOPTED daughter xxx. Every damn time so I sincerely hope OTT is correct.

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:24 PM
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Wanted to answer you all without quoting each one. Hope you all see it. Lol I do not think the worst. I believe OTT has it right. I think she wants them all to know every aspect of their lives has value and is real. I would never ask her because I don't feel she has any ulterior motives behind the saying. I think she is an absolutely amazing, selfless woman. And a terrific mother. I hope I didn't imply that I thought bad about her for it. I had just never heard the saying before and thought it was weird that I would see it in the home of an adoptive parent. And I do know that she has instilled in him that his story began with me. So I don't feel the need to tell him that. :) I may mention it to her by asking where she got it. Honestly, I would love to have one in my home. I just wanted to share the saying with all of you.
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