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News for MsKitKat

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 1:19 PM
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I can't remember which post we were discussing this so I've made a new one.

So guess what. The adoption agency sent me my relinquishment papers. Not only did they send it to me but a SW called to make sure I got them. I wonder what changed in the last 6 years when I was ignored over and over. 

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 1:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CaileighsMom608
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 1:57 PM

 Can I ask what made you want your relinquishment papers?  I know you probably explained all this is a previous post but I am playing catch up.

Did you agency always drag their feet when it came to your paperwork or was it only after some time?

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Yay! I wonder if I could get mine? I doubt it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
onethentwins
by Gold Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting CaileighsMom608:

 Can I ask what made you want your relinquishment papers?  I know you probably explained all this is a previous post but I am playing catch up.

Did you agency always drag their feet when it came to your paperwork or was it only after some time?

I actually asked for any and all paperwork in my file that I am legally entitled to. Originally I wanted it because I was searching for my son's birth father and I thought there might be a phone number in the file that could possibly help me find him.

That was 6 years ago and back then I wrote letter after letter, email after email, phone call after phone call and I just got ignored. Eventually I spoke to one woman who said she'd ask a judge to unseal my files. This made no sense as I should have been legally allowed relinquishment papers at any point. That and at that time my son was actually living with me. In the end I found his birth father by other means and didn't need the paperwork.

KitKat was talking about how adoption agencies treated birth mothers post-adoption so I told her I'd try again and let her know what happened. As you see, It was a completely different experience.


Ms.KitKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:28 PM

 Yipppeeee! Yeah!!!!! I am so happy for you!

Thanks for letting me know!

Would you ever consider speaking to this social worker about your thoughts and feelings and experiences? Offer to speak with other social workers there to provide your perspective as a first mother and what services you would like for all other expectant parents who come to their agency?

Just even very basic things like a copy of their baby's birth certificate and surrender papers........IDK what changed but it sounds like a start in a posiitve direction...maybe? 

Ms.KitKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 Try it! Why do you doubt it? Was it very long ago? Did you sign with an agency?

Quoting Vikki77:

Yay! I wonder if I could get mine? I doubt it.

 

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:44 PM



Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 Yipppeeee! Yeah!!!!! I am so happy for you!

Thanks for letting me know!

Would you ever consider speaking to this social worker about your thoughts and feelings and experiences? Offer to speak with other social workers there to provide your perspective as a first mother and what services you would like for all other expectant parents who come to their agency?

Just even very basic things like a copy of their baby's birth certificate and surrender papers........IDK what changed but it sounds like a start in a posiitve direction...maybe? 

No I wouldn't :)


JoesGirl
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:57 PM

I know I do not post here very often anymore, but - interesting post

i have been considering getting a copy of my paperwork from the hospital

i have not consiered getting a copy of my paperwork from the agency - makes my stomach churn at the very thought of it

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I have had my hospital paperwork for 3 years. I take it out once a year to try to get through it all. It is definitely heartbreaking and very very triggering. 

My adoption paperwork is what brought me to this group. I had it for 2 years before reading something other than my daughters adopted name. Reading it is what brought me out of the fog and all of my repressed memories crashign down on me. I guess my advice is, get whatever you can but make sure you know to put it away when it becomes overwhelming. 

Quoting JoesGirl:

I know I do not post here very often anymore, but - interesting post

i have been considering getting a copy of my paperwork from the hospital

i have not consiered getting a copy of my paperwork from the agency - makes my stomach churn at the very thought of it


Vikki77
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:19 PM
No it was through CPS. I did try at the time of signing and several years later. I was told no both times. I signed then 15 years ago.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 Try it! Why do you doubt it? Was it very long ago? Did you sign with an agency?


Quoting Vikki77:

Yay! I wonder if I could get mine? I doubt it.

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Ms.KitKat
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:59 PM

 ah- yes, I think that is a different matter. I never worked for the state. I have only worked in private, non-profit  agencies. And as I mentioned to the OP on some other thread, I always give the first parents an original copy of their surrender documents. One woman lost hers in a flood and so she came back to my agency 15 years later asking for a copy and I sent it to her.

I also always order an extra BC to keep in the file in case she would want it too.

Quoting Vikki77:

No it was through CPS. I did try at the time of signing and several years later. I was told no both times. I signed then 15 years ago.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 Try it! Why do you doubt it? Was it very long ago? Did you sign with an agency?


Quoting Vikki77:

Yay! I wonder if I could get mine? I doubt it.

 

 

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