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Too Much

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:54 AM
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Yesterday my sons amom arrived at the airport to see me. She spent the night and went to see her son today, after I we dropped her off at the airport. It was so stressful for me before she arrived and continued until today when I got home and fell in a puddle of tears.Our mutual son has lashed out at his amom in December and has not spoken to her since. He stopped communication with me again since September 2012, and was ready to start again in December, but unfortunate miss-communication prevented that from happening.

She gave information and tried to convince me my son has false memories of an unloved childhood. She thinks he's picking up information from group sessions, and taking them on as his own memories.I don't know if he'll follow up with the plan to see her, but I do hope so, so they can heal. I hope she can validate his feelings.

I felt like she was curious about how I live my life with my family and how my other children grew up. I have very  loving relationships with all my children. They are all grown, happy and doing well.I know my son has so many unresolved issues with me giving him away. It kills me as his mom, I can't fix it for him! All I can do is keep writing words of encouragement to find joy in his life, and he is worthy, and that I will always love him. 

Thanks for the place to vent all this. Will the pain ever stop? It's O.K., I already know the answer.

by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Ms.KitKat
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this

[[[[hugs]]]]]]

I am sorry. I only have hugs. 

Southernroots
by Group Admin on Mar. 2, 2014 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

The pain may never completely go away, but, it can change, lessen and we can find better ways to deal with it.  The key for me was to finally forgive myself for what I did (relinquish my son).  It has also helped too I imagine knowing that he doesn't hate for what I did either.  Guess what I am saying is that there can be healing, even some resolution and the pain can come less often and be less severe, but, no, relinquishing a child changes one forever.  

You're right, none of us can fix our children's issues, we can only love and support them the best we can.

Vikki77
by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs. :(
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HereWeGoAgain9
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 7:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Thinking of you. I'm sorry for how emotionally drained you're feeling.
blessed3times
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope you have him back in your life VERY soon!  I wish I had something more to say than "I'm sorry"

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

mom2rhea-ann
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

im sorryhugs

drfink
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 2:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Think about you often.It must be so frustrating as  well as painful.Makes me just want to find him hug him and tell him he was and is so very huggable.That the lack of hugging is owned by his aparents not him..

DVT
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this

HUGS - I'm so sorry that you're going through this as well! I hope he comes back into your life soon.  It sounds like you were really close this past Dec too.  Thinking of you.

2jeffsmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 13, 2014 at 3:16 AM
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Quoting DVT:

HUGS - I'm so sorry that you're going through this as well! I hope he comes back into your life soon.  It sounds like you were really close this past Dec too.  Thinking of you.

Thanks for your thoughts.It's birthday month, 40! It's a tough one for us both. I'm sending a card early with all the positive words I can think of, and sending a lot of hugs!

I was 1/2 day  from connecting in December! So close, but so,so far. A very sad day with both of us crying. There will come a day again we'll connect.

DVT
by Bronze Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting 2jeffsmom:


Quoting DVT:

HUGS - I'm so sorry that you're going through this as well! I hope he comes back into your life soon.  It sounds like you were really close this past Dec too.  Thinking of you.

Thanks for your thoughts.It's birthday month, 40! It's a tough one for us both. I'm sending a card early with all the positive words I can think of, and sending a lot of hugs!

I was 1/2 day  from connecting in December! So close, but so,so far. A very sad day with both of us crying. There will come a day again we'll connect.

Praying that it does happen! Birthdays make it even worse! I hope he at least text you thank you for the card or something along those lines, even if it isn't a direct phone call. What you're doing is wonderful! Yikes didn't realize it was that close to connecting too! HUGS during his bday month!

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