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Natural / Birth / First Moms Searching: please add your known details here

I'm going to try to untangle the historical posts from the general discussion forum and place them all here.  We should have separate threads for adoptees searching and natural / birth / first moms searching.

PortAngeles1969   www.postadoptioncoach.com

Group Owner:
Adoption
http://www.cafemom.com/group/adoption  
Group Administrator: Birthmoms http://www.cafemom.com/group/birthmoms

by on Feb. 24, 2009 at 8:36 PM
Replies (11-20):
PortAngeles1969
by Group Owner on Feb. 24, 2009 at 9:25 PM
emf6874

by on Jan. 30, 2009 at 2:24 PM

I'm looking for my birth son - Daniel Luis Cardona

Birth-date - September 10th, 1987 in Chicago, Illinois


His adoptive parents are extended family of his dad...I know there address & phone number & they have hung up on my older daughters a couple years back when they tried calling. I found out his adoptive dad died this past Monday of a heart attack. I am pretty sure the mom still lives in Forest Park, Illinois that is where the address is when I look up the phone number.

I guess my question really is...How do I go about talking to/ finding him without having to contact the mom? OR, how do I get her to tell him? I just want to meet him, I don't want it to turn into some crazy drama filled thing. He's 21 now, he doesn't know he's adopted. They (well now she) seems like she does everything she can to keep him from knowing.If he doesn't want to see me...or his sisters, I want HIM to say it...NOT her!

I've tried finding information about HIM online, but come up with nothing.

~PEACE~

PortAngeles1969
by Group Owner on Feb. 24, 2009 at 9:26 PM
ash1990

by on Feb. 6, 2009 at 5:51 PM

i don't know where to begin-i am new here. my oldest daughter will be 19 on 2/18. i was forced by my mother to give her up for adoption-i was 17 at the time. i have 3 children now & they all know that they have a big sister out there -somewhere-

 

she was born 2/18/90

a closed adoption in ohio -SCJFS handled the adoption-

 

i do not know what age it is that the adoptee may look for their birthparents-i think of her everyday & wonde ris she happy, safe, loved? it is this time each yr. that she is heaviest on my mind

Anne28

by on Feb. 7, 2009 at 6:24 AM

Of course it is the time of year she is on your mind the most; her birthday is coming up.  I totally get that.  January is always the hardest for me but it starts at Christmas time.  It's like reliving it all over again, just another year.  However, she will be 18 yrs. old, and most states that is legal age to be reunited.

I would try posting your information on adoption reunion groups (can find many on google), and go back to the agency and/or attorney who handled the adoption and see what steps you can take to release your confidentiality in the case she may be looking for you.  This is probably the best place to start is  to go back to the agency/attorney first.  There are also search angels who who help with your search.  A birthdate and the place of birth are what they need the most.  I was able to provide of course his sex, and time of birth so that may have helped as well.  I wonder is anyone knows what they tap into to find children.  My son was found by a search reunion person within 5 days (I tried everything for 5 years and exhausted any hope of finding my son), of my giving her only his birthdate and where he was born.  I will never know how they do it; I am guessing some sort of expensive software program.  She charged me $700.00 but I will never regret spending that.  Some people never had to pay but I couldn't find that sort of luck.

I've been in reunion with my son for 2 years and we've met, talk, email.  Be prepared for the ups and downs reunion has to offer.  HOwever, I will never regret that I now know my son was well taken care of and is a decent person.  That alone should be comforting to me but there is always more that I want out of it.  It takes time, patience, educate yourself and read about adoption and the effects it has on the natural parents, aparents and the adoptee.  I read Primal Wound and I find myself picking it up at times to reference.  That is a good book but there are many to choose from.

Good luck.  Several ladies on here will be able to offer add'l suggestions.

Anne

MaeHamMomma
by on Dec. 6, 2009 at 9:41 PM

Please help if you can.

I am searching on behalf of my Aunt who is the first mom and is mentally slow.

I am looking for my maternal cousin who was given up for adoption 29 years ago. His name at birth was Shaun David Erwin, he was born 9/3/1978 in Vittburg Germany to Sandra Kathrine Erwin and Troy Hanson Erwin.

He was placed for adoption in 1980 (ish) at the childrens home in Lubbock Texas, from there he was moved to New Mexico Baptist Childrens Home and was adopted.

His adopted name is either David Shaun Petty III, David Petty III, OR Shaun David Petty III.

I don't have a lot of information about what his name is for sure. But I do know that his adopted family was from OK and it is rumored that he MAY be living in WY.

I have looked and looked and looked but I have turned up NOTHING.

I am hoping to find him before my rather ill grandmother passes away.

Please Bump thanks for your help!

I have tried facebook, myspace, pipl.com, cousin connect.com, birth record, criminal records and death records. No luck so far. I should add that my mother has been trying to find him and his brothers since the day after they were given up. We have found two of them and he is the last one we need to find.

mkbmom
by Member on Dec. 7, 2009 at 8:56 AM

I am helping a friend find her daughter.

Born 4/18/1975

Location: The Cradle in Evanston, IL

Relinguished at birth.

CandyE
by on Dec. 8, 2009 at 8:06 AM

This is just a general reply to all of you, if you PM me, I will try to help in any way I can with your search, and try to answer any questions you have.

Candy


Essentials of Starting an Adoption/Reunion Search


IF both parent and child place their information with  the following 2 registries a match will be made and the parties will be notified. 

International Soundex Reunion Registry

http://www.isrr.net/registration.shtml


Adoption.com Reunion Registry

 http://registry.adoption.com/


If born in IL, register at the following:

Illinois Adoption Reunion and Medical Information Exchange

http://www.idph.state.il.us/vitalrecords/adoptioninfo.htm


Also there is a website that tells where to write for non-identifying information - however,  the list is no longer maintained and some information may be outdated:

http://www.adopting.org/non_id.html


Anyone with medical issues needing history should contact the following website:

http://www.adoption-free-search.org/


Search Angels can be found by searching the term ‘search angel' and your state of birth.  I am a member of  Soaring Angels which is a Yahoo group with many volunteer members who help with searching.  We can be found at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SoaringAngels/



CandyE


joshuasmom89
by New Member on Aug. 5, 2011 at 11:53 PM

I am a birthmom in search of my son

He was born Joshua Christopher Crow ( on original B C) on May 19,1989 at Maricopa Medical Center in Phoenix arizona.

I went through Birth Hope Adoption Agency, But I believe that they are closed now.

The last time I got any thing from them was in 1990. My son is 22 now and I want him to know that he has 2 brothers ages 17 and 20 that are very desperate to meet him. I have aways told them of him and the reasons that I could not raise their brother. I will understand if he does not want to meet me  but there is some  medical information he needs to know. I have been waiting 22 years for the chance to see his face again and to know that he is ok and happy!


joshuasmom89
by New Member on Aug. 12, 2011 at 11:56 PM


Quoting PortAngeles1969:

ceejay1

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 3:55 PM

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted this...where have I been????      I am a Firstmom, looking for my twin sons, born in Tucson Az. March 25th,1986.  They were born at Tucson Medical Center, through Birth Hope Adoption Agency.  I know nothing more...about them!                                                  

CEEJAY1

have you had any luck with the adoption agency? I used the same one and I cant get any information from them I think they are no longer in buisness??

vampporcupine
by Silver Member on Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:20 AM

 

Quoting joshuasmom89:

 

Quoting PortAngeles1969:

ceejay1

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 3:55 PM

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted this...where have I been????      I am a Firstmom, looking for my twin sons, born in Tucson Az. March 25th,1986.  They were born at Tucson Medical Center, through Birth Hope Adoption Agency.  I know nothing more...about them!                                                  

CEEJAY1

have you had any luck with the adoption agency? I used the same one and I cant get any information from them I think they are no longer in buisness??

 I don't believe CJ's agency was very helpful. I would suggest private messaging her directly.

joshuasmom89
by New Member on Aug. 15, 2011 at 1:15 AM

Thank I did :)

meme0907
by New Member on Jan. 14, 2012 at 12:31 PM

Hello, I am a Birth Mother searching for my two sons.. born 03/15/1992 @ Aiken Regional Hospital...if you are the nurse that helped in my delivery you are the one who knows the adoptive family,you asked me if i would place the baby......born 04/03/1993 @ Spartanburg Regional Hospital..his name is David..Terry & Guy are the adoptive parents...Laurie Goldhiem was the adoption attorney they live in NY...Terry or Guy if you read this I miss hearing from you please email me @ mechele15@hotmail.com

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