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I did it!

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:43 AM
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I had my son Thursday 3-5-09! He is absolutely beautiful. 6lbs. 10oz. so small. The adoptive parents are ecstatic. and adoptive mom's maternal instincts kicked in right away, which is a relief. I know I can trust them to take care of my son. As much as this is hurting me i continue to tell myself that this is not about me and what I want, but that this is about my baby and what he needs. I will be signing over my rights today and I am quite nervous, but think I can do it. I have no doubts that this is the right thing right now in my life. I do however hate feeling alone in all this even though I have a support system. I am almost numb from the pain.

by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:43 AM
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PortAngeles1969
by Group Owner on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:01 PM

Oh honey.......

Of course your son is perfect!!!!  And I recall the numbness and aloneness of the day the agency social worker came to me in the hospital to sign those papers.

I've always said that I take no joy in seeing the numbers of this sisterhood increase, and that's true. This morning I do not have recollection of your specific story and can only hope that this decision comes after you have had the support and education that allows for a fully informed one.

As an adoptee I am sad for your little one - for he knows you and his current needs are all wrapped up in who you are to him, his mother. While the prospective adoptive mom is eager to love him with maternal instinct, he will be missing you. Infants don't understand the decisions made for them, they don't understand anything other than the absence of who they have been a part of since they were first formed. They don't live in a place that worries about tomorrows, they are experiencing this world for the first time.

I do not say this to hurt you, for I am also a birth mother and understand all too well the struggle of facing an unplanned pregnancy and believing that I could not best meet my daughters needs. I WILL be your sister and WILL support you in this journey.

But this morning as I read your post the adoptee in me just had to speak up. Adoption includes all three members of the triad at all times (even when the adoptee is a newborn) and while you will be going through what you choose, and the prospective adoptive parents go through whatever you choose, your son will also be feeling this decision.

I will be thinking of you and your son in the days to come.  Please let us know how you are doing!

 

 

PortAngeles1969   www.postadoptioncoach.com

Group Owner:
Adoption
http://www.cafemom.com/group/adoption  
Group Administrator: Birthmoms http://www.cafemom.com/group/birthmoms

stillamom1213
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:32 PM

Welcome to my new sister. I will be here when you need me . I wish you love and peace. I'm sorry it turned out like this and that you had to be one of us. But, I will support you with all my heart. Many blessings as you start this difficult journey.

onethentwins
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2009 at 4:07 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.

ceejay1
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 7:06 PM

Welcome,  as you can see, there are many in this sisterhood, it is a sad place to belong, but the greatest of friends will be here to help you when you need feel a need.  Your Journey has just begun,and many emotions will be intense, try to remember to take care of yourself. I , too, will say my prayers for your baby, as well as for you.  Congrats on on healthy happy baby, and may GOD help guide him through this lost, confusing time.  Blessings...AND Serenity...C.J.

CEEJAY1

mysa
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 10:02 PM


       You just have done the ultimate sacrifice just a mother can make for her children.
I am praying for GOD to give you the wisdom and all the strengths needed to keep yourself strong and keep moving forward!!


                         

Anne28
by on Mar. 9, 2009 at 10:11 AM

My son's birthday who just turned 12 had his birthday on March 5th!  Love that date.  I am parenting my son, Andrew.

I am not going to say too much because of the negativity that goes back and forth.  I will say though, that I too, am sorry for your loss.  I will say a prayer for you and your son today and know that we are here for you.  You will experience your own journey with adoption.

God Bless, Anne

ChrissyH
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2009 at 11:50 AM

I am here for you also, you and your son are in my prayers. Please feel free to send me a message if you need to talk; I have been on this journey for 18 years and have seen all it's ups and downs and back again.

blessed317
by Member on Mar. 9, 2009 at 12:18 PM

Praying that God will give you the wisdom and knowledge to work through the tough times ahead, and the comfort and peace when the pain seems too much to bear. Praying that God will watch over your son, keep him safe, always loved, and comforted at all times.

Wishing you and yours the best even in the toughest of times.

~Jen hugs

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